"I can’t change the fact that there were people who came into his life before there was a me...."

“

I can’t change the fact that there were people who came into his life before there was a me. Before there was an us, there had been a him and another. Just as there had been another there for me before him. We had lived life a thousand times over before we started living it together.

I gave him all of me: my past, present, and future and I ask of him the same. I cannot erase what came before me — what came before him. But I don’t dwell and don’t relive. Murky memories flicker to mind, only to die off in the furthest recess of my mind. And as familiar strangers from past lives invade, I pay them no heed in the slightest, for they are not for me any more.

It’s true that I can’t make him love me the way I love him. I can’t change the course of life, nor the path he has already treaded alone. I can never alter these things that make him the man I fell in love with, the man he is today. I will never sway him, beg him, make him stay.

With him, I am powerless. With him, I am vulnerable. I am in love with him.

”

- Racheal Renwick