Character Response: Kevin
Happy New Year, everyone!
One way to tell a story has captivated you is if you find yourself talking to the characters. Not about the characters, but to them. This year I want to share my captivation with you with character responses. I'll share my thoughts with a character who really stood out to me. First up, Kevin from Connie Briscoe's Sisters and Husbands.
Dear Kevin,
20+ years of marriage and friendship gone! Evelyn has probably done all the fussing any woman could hope to do in that situation. I simply wonder if you understand how, unfortunate, but common your issue was. The issue of leaving the unit that is.
Nothing is ever solved in a good or growing marriage by leaving the marital unit. No, I'm not referring to infidelity, but that certainly doesn't help a situation. However, I am referring to shutting out your spouse because of a growth or change in your path of life. To shut down and shut out is such a selfish thing, really.
You found new values. There is nothing wrong in that. The mistake was in making the assumption your wife would not stand by you in your new found change. Your wife didn't have the chance to decide or speak for herself. A decision that she would not grow with you or compromise with you was made for her. So unfair.
The second mistake was acting on that assumption. Hadn't Evelyn proven to a small capacity to compromise with you in the changes of life once before? Why deny her the opportunity to rise to the occasion again? Why deny yourself a supporter, friend and partner? You denied so much and yet blamed her for not noticing your change.
Could the issue have been you masked a majority of your change and (noble) growth out of a fear of rejection? I'm just saying it couldn't have been 100% Evelyn only seeing what she wanted to see. There must have been something familiar there - at least until you shaved your head.
I completely agree with Evelyn's philosophy on infidelity. However, I'll take it one step further. An affair really doesn't matter because it simply a manifestation of what has already taken place inwardly. You're a different man now, Kevin. You've grown into a frugal man, enjoying the simplicities of life all alone. Someone was supposed to enjoy this change with you until death do you part.
Sadly, the worse part of all this is for your daughter. The example you have now set for her is a dangerous one. You know, Kevin, the example which says men are not accountable for their actions in relationships. A man simply reacts to whatever his woman lacks. Could you imagine your daughter trying to be "Ms. Perfect" to a man who cares nothing about her except the things he can get from her? Or to a husband with the fear that what she doesn't do the next woman is waiting to handle?
What kind of life is that? A life where relationships fall apart solely because a woman failed to please a man - that is not reality. A healthy relationship always takes two. Hopefully, it won't take a series of heartbreaks for your daughter to learn that she's not responsible for making her spouse be present in any relationship.
You changed and your values evolved. That is perfectly okay. Part of you wanted to check out on being attached to someone else, even if just for a moment. That's okay too. Even the best marriages allow people to breathe. It's just you're wife had a right to speak and decide for herself and you shut her out. Not fair.
Do you like where you are now?
Sincerely,
A Reader
One way to tell a story has captivated you is if you find yourself talking to the characters. Not about the characters, but to them. This year I want to share my captivation with you with character responses. I'll share my thoughts with a character who really stood out to me. First up, Kevin from Connie Briscoe's Sisters and Husbands.
Dear Kevin,
20+ years of marriage and friendship gone! Evelyn has probably done all the fussing any woman could hope to do in that situation. I simply wonder if you understand how, unfortunate, but common your issue was. The issue of leaving the unit that is.
Nothing is ever solved in a good or growing marriage by leaving the marital unit. No, I'm not referring to infidelity, but that certainly doesn't help a situation. However, I am referring to shutting out your spouse because of a growth or change in your path of life. To shut down and shut out is such a selfish thing, really.
You found new values. There is nothing wrong in that. The mistake was in making the assumption your wife would not stand by you in your new found change. Your wife didn't have the chance to decide or speak for herself. A decision that she would not grow with you or compromise with you was made for her. So unfair.
The second mistake was acting on that assumption. Hadn't Evelyn proven to a small capacity to compromise with you in the changes of life once before? Why deny her the opportunity to rise to the occasion again? Why deny yourself a supporter, friend and partner? You denied so much and yet blamed her for not noticing your change.
Could the issue have been you masked a majority of your change and (noble) growth out of a fear of rejection? I'm just saying it couldn't have been 100% Evelyn only seeing what she wanted to see. There must have been something familiar there - at least until you shaved your head.
I completely agree with Evelyn's philosophy on infidelity. However, I'll take it one step further. An affair really doesn't matter because it simply a manifestation of what has already taken place inwardly. You're a different man now, Kevin. You've grown into a frugal man, enjoying the simplicities of life all alone. Someone was supposed to enjoy this change with you until death do you part.
Sadly, the worse part of all this is for your daughter. The example you have now set for her is a dangerous one. You know, Kevin, the example which says men are not accountable for their actions in relationships. A man simply reacts to whatever his woman lacks. Could you imagine your daughter trying to be "Ms. Perfect" to a man who cares nothing about her except the things he can get from her? Or to a husband with the fear that what she doesn't do the next woman is waiting to handle?
What kind of life is that? A life where relationships fall apart solely because a woman failed to please a man - that is not reality. A healthy relationship always takes two. Hopefully, it won't take a series of heartbreaks for your daughter to learn that she's not responsible for making her spouse be present in any relationship.
You changed and your values evolved. That is perfectly okay. Part of you wanted to check out on being attached to someone else, even if just for a moment. That's okay too. Even the best marriages allow people to breathe. It's just you're wife had a right to speak and decide for herself and you shut her out. Not fair.
Do you like where you are now?
Sincerely,
A Reader
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