Character Response: Lenora & Gerald
Lenora: “That's not fair. I forgave you when you did this to me. Yet, you won’t even talk to me.”
Gerald: “And when I did it, we were a few months into a new relationship. We weren’t ENGAGED. Give me the damn ring!”
Lenora, what did you expect? No man wants to find out his woman has options the way Gerald found out. Really, wasn’t this simple revenge cheating? I do not understand how you expected Gerald to simply give you a pass when (1) you did not give him a pass and (2) you never discussed with Gerald that he would have to give you a cheating pass.
When Gerald cheated on you there was an option to forgive him and offense and stay or let him and his offense go all together. You chose to stay. In doing so you projected the message:
“I forgive you and I will no longer let your offense follow us. I will not let this offense dictate my actions in the future.”
The truth is you actually meant: “I will take you back, but this means a freebie for me!”
The problem is, Lenora, your secret feelings should have been said loud and clear. Gerald should have been told you needed to feel or be on an equal playing field in order to be comfortable trying again with him. But who in their right mind would agree to allowing someone to hurt them? You knew that wouldn’t fly and chose to say nothing.
Yet, Gerald, there is this thing called karma. You know it goes around and comes back home. I doubt you bothered to ask Lenora how she went about healing after you cheated on her. Hell, did you even care if she had healed? Going back to Lenora was just as big of a risk for you. You gave yourself no way of knowing what her heart was capable of after such an offense. I don’t think you knew (to consider) cheating changes the fabric of a woman.
Let me guess. Lenora was suppose to just grow up and forgive you? Yet, complete forgiveness didn’t seem plausible or possible because of your behavior. It has been my experience that women do not forgive where they do not see change.
Gerald, you continued behavior which promotes distrust in any relationship: keeping late hours; not being forthcoming with the truth; not engaging in Lenora’s interest. These actions are opposite of those you’d take with a person with whom you’re trying to build a life. If you want something new, do something different.
Neither one of you seem to grasp the cheating happened well before Lenora ever took a step toward another guy. The cheating begins at the point you become separate from your partner. Gerald, when Lenora’s weight became an issue for you that’s when she became open to cheating on you. Lenora, when Gerald’s sex became routine, you became open to cheating on him. In keeping silent, Lenora, you made room for someone else to take Gerald’s place. Cheating starts and goes well beyond the bedroom, or office, or back of a flatbed truck.
The saying is usually there is a woman waiting to do what you won’t. The standard goes both ways. Both of you assume the other had a different mindset about cheating because of the timing. However, if you’ll look closely you will see you both shared a truth: you did not feel secure about the status of your commitment.
Gerald, the relationship was new when you cheated. You probably thought it wasn’t going anywhere much longer anyway.
Lenora, the relationship hit a dry spot for a long time. You assumed it was dying out anyway. More so, you were waiting on Gerald to tell you it was over anyway.
Not to mention, Gerald, your proposal couldn’t have come at a worse time. How was Lenora suppose to feel secure you would stay once the money ran out? (I sure as hell wasn’t convinced!) Gerald, I believe you thought you were safe with Lenora. I believe you were assured Lenora was stable, dependable and incapable of inflicting such hurt on someone else because she was compassionate. After knowing what it felt like, how could she possibly cheat on someone else?
It’s that principle - karma. In cheating on Lenora you gave her, and any woman after her, permission to cheat on you. No woman can ignore completely the knowledge that you have cheated and given the right circumstance would cheat. Now, every woman has to be on guard and cautious. Women have to either choose to confront the issue or be confined by the possibility you may cheat. Either way the issue of trust will now follow you like a wrap sheet or a mug shot. You’ll have to work a little harder and deal with a few more consequences.
Lenora, those consequences will now follow you too. You now have the same mug shot. Men now know they can’t trust whether or not you’re taking them seriously. This is dangerous territory for a man because you’ve proven that if a man doesn’t prove his commitment to you, then you will not fulfill his expectation of faithfulness to him. Instead of leaving, you will hurt him just as openly as you feel he’s hurt you and demand that he stay and take his medicine. No man will stay to play those games.
This lesson was in the works long before the lottery. The money simply made it all come to the light faster.
Gerald: “And when I did it, we were a few months into a new relationship. We weren’t ENGAGED. Give me the damn ring!”
Lenora, what did you expect? No man wants to find out his woman has options the way Gerald found out. Really, wasn’t this simple revenge cheating? I do not understand how you expected Gerald to simply give you a pass when (1) you did not give him a pass and (2) you never discussed with Gerald that he would have to give you a cheating pass.
When Gerald cheated on you there was an option to forgive him and offense and stay or let him and his offense go all together. You chose to stay. In doing so you projected the message:
“I forgive you and I will no longer let your offense follow us. I will not let this offense dictate my actions in the future.”
The truth is you actually meant: “I will take you back, but this means a freebie for me!”
The problem is, Lenora, your secret feelings should have been said loud and clear. Gerald should have been told you needed to feel or be on an equal playing field in order to be comfortable trying again with him. But who in their right mind would agree to allowing someone to hurt them? You knew that wouldn’t fly and chose to say nothing.
Yet, Gerald, there is this thing called karma. You know it goes around and comes back home. I doubt you bothered to ask Lenora how she went about healing after you cheated on her. Hell, did you even care if she had healed? Going back to Lenora was just as big of a risk for you. You gave yourself no way of knowing what her heart was capable of after such an offense. I don’t think you knew (to consider) cheating changes the fabric of a woman.
Let me guess. Lenora was suppose to just grow up and forgive you? Yet, complete forgiveness didn’t seem plausible or possible because of your behavior. It has been my experience that women do not forgive where they do not see change.
Gerald, you continued behavior which promotes distrust in any relationship: keeping late hours; not being forthcoming with the truth; not engaging in Lenora’s interest. These actions are opposite of those you’d take with a person with whom you’re trying to build a life. If you want something new, do something different.
Neither one of you seem to grasp the cheating happened well before Lenora ever took a step toward another guy. The cheating begins at the point you become separate from your partner. Gerald, when Lenora’s weight became an issue for you that’s when she became open to cheating on you. Lenora, when Gerald’s sex became routine, you became open to cheating on him. In keeping silent, Lenora, you made room for someone else to take Gerald’s place. Cheating starts and goes well beyond the bedroom, or office, or back of a flatbed truck.
The saying is usually there is a woman waiting to do what you won’t. The standard goes both ways. Both of you assume the other had a different mindset about cheating because of the timing. However, if you’ll look closely you will see you both shared a truth: you did not feel secure about the status of your commitment.
Gerald, the relationship was new when you cheated. You probably thought it wasn’t going anywhere much longer anyway.
Lenora, the relationship hit a dry spot for a long time. You assumed it was dying out anyway. More so, you were waiting on Gerald to tell you it was over anyway.
Not to mention, Gerald, your proposal couldn’t have come at a worse time. How was Lenora suppose to feel secure you would stay once the money ran out? (I sure as hell wasn’t convinced!) Gerald, I believe you thought you were safe with Lenora. I believe you were assured Lenora was stable, dependable and incapable of inflicting such hurt on someone else because she was compassionate. After knowing what it felt like, how could she possibly cheat on someone else?
It’s that principle - karma. In cheating on Lenora you gave her, and any woman after her, permission to cheat on you. No woman can ignore completely the knowledge that you have cheated and given the right circumstance would cheat. Now, every woman has to be on guard and cautious. Women have to either choose to confront the issue or be confined by the possibility you may cheat. Either way the issue of trust will now follow you like a wrap sheet or a mug shot. You’ll have to work a little harder and deal with a few more consequences.
Lenora, those consequences will now follow you too. You now have the same mug shot. Men now know they can’t trust whether or not you’re taking them seriously. This is dangerous territory for a man because you’ve proven that if a man doesn’t prove his commitment to you, then you will not fulfill his expectation of faithfulness to him. Instead of leaving, you will hurt him just as openly as you feel he’s hurt you and demand that he stay and take his medicine. No man will stay to play those games.
This lesson was in the works long before the lottery. The money simply made it all come to the light faster.
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message 1:
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Shawnee
(new)
Mar 31, 2014 05:01PM
Money Can't Buy Love
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