Kicking Ass @Work: Single biggest RED FLAG of all time
So without further ado, here’s the single biggest red flag in the history of ever…
However, before I discuss the red flag in question, I’d like to explain one very important thing.
You know what I have no desire to do? Eat rocks. Nope, nada, zip. Neither does anyone else, outside of rogue episodes of My Strange Addiction. Plus, in the history of human society, we have no laws against eating rocks. No social taboos against ‘stone munchers’. And no ‘rock detectors’ to check if you have a belly full of gravel.
This is all going somewhere, BTW, hang with me.
As a result, I’ll never say to anyone: “Hey, just so you know…I’m NOT about to eat rocks.” Which, if you think about it, is what that phrase should really be used for: totally outrageous stuff that you’re REALLY never about to do. That said, here’s what “I’m not…” DOES get used for:
I’m not lying to you
I’m not trying to set you up
I’m not going behind your back
You get the idea. Of all the things that you REALLY aren’t doing, why are you listing something that, let’s face it, you’ve probably done in the past and could do so again, if you had to. Huh.
In my experience, the phrase “I’m not…” is a red flag for the fact that yes, that’s exactly what’s happening. The red flag gets smaller if someone says “I’m not…” as a direct reply to a question. As in:
Person A: “Are you lying to me?”
Liar: “No, I’m not lying.”
The red flag gets a wee bit smaller, but this interaction is still totes fishy. An innocent person would usually reply ‘no’ as an answer to that question. Why do I say that? Our minds don’t understand the concept ‘not’ right away. For example, suppose I say: “Don’t think about Godzilla terrorizing downtown Tokyo.” Ha! You just thought the big guy, right? So saying “I’m not lying” is pretty much a red flag for lying. This is in sharp contrast to a reply like: “I’m telling you the truth.”
The red flag gets SUPER HUGE if someone says “I’m not…” spontaneously, as in the example below:
Person A: “How was your weekend, Bob?”
Bob the Felon: “I didn’t steal anything from petty cash, in case you’re wondering.”
Well, I wasn’t wondering before, Bob. But now I am. A lot.
So there you have it: the greatest red flag in the history of ever, and it’s not even a flag at all. It’s two little words: “I’m not…”
And I’m not lying about that
ALSO IN THIS SERIES:
How to tell who’s aligned with whom
3 Strikes and I Call Your Manager
Rule of the 3 Ps
Get anyone to back to fuck off
Work means never having to say ‘I’m sorry’
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