Choices

I have been working at my current job for some time. When I started, I thought it was a company I could settle into and understand the business, let myself grow, stretch my skills, and balance my life.

Lately, not so much.

After a catalogue of issues (and frequent searches of Canadian Labour Laws), I have submitted my notice. I end work on December 20th and get to spend my first holiday off in three years. I get to appreciate freedom, family, and face change.

For the last few months, I have been on writing overdrive. All I have wanted is to write and practice this art that intoxicates me and captures every aspect of my imagination.

I now get that option.

Savings will be tested. Self-motivation and dedication will be proven.

I have been sitting for months thinking…why did rappers have to commercialize the phrase, “you only live once”? I feel it in my bones, I only live once. I’ll only be this age once, no matter how many times my characters get to live it.

Imagination is a wonderful thing. It makes life more full and lets you experience more aspects than you would otherwise. You get to be other people, you get to believe in magic and dragons.

But life is full of choices. And sometimes we get lost and we lose sight of what we really, really want. We dissolve our present into the dreamy nature of fantasy, of story. And we cope with things from our real life by letting our minds wander the distances of our ideas.

On Monday, I chose my dreams. I chose the life I want to live. Was it a financially wise decision? No! But do I have the capacity to do it at this point in my life? Yes. Do I have the love and support of my family and friends? I am so freakin’ lucky, I do.

I’m going to take a shot at this. I’m going to work hard and I won’t live in a safe job with destructive regrets. I made a choice. I’m scared shitless but I’m going to work my ass off and make my family and friends proud that they gave me this opportunity, this time.