Relationship advice
Ask Maryanne
Maryanne shares her answers to some of the questions readers and listeners send. Want your question answered? Email info@maryannelive.com !
“I recently got back together with my ex-boyfriend then he broke up with me again, then we got back together then he broke up again and now we are back together. He barely ever calls me or texts me; sometimes three days will go by before he contacts me. We both have kids but we don’t hang out with them. He’s not interested in my family, I’m not sure if he is serious about our relationship. What are the signs I should look for to tell me that he is?”
- Amanda (23, Hilbert, WI)
ROCK SLIDE AHEAD, CAUTION, GO BACK YOU ARE GOING WRONG WAY! How's that for a sign? Then ask yourself, what are you doing with this guy? Is it the challenge? You can’t stand rejection? Or maybe a lack of self-esteem? Or maybe he’s got a big heart and you know deep down he really wants to be serious but he can’t seem to show it but you’re going to wait because you have no other prospects, nothing better to do, or are telling yourself he’s definitely going to change.
Maybe if you’re lucky, he will see the signs you can’t seem to see and leave you once and for all so you can get on with your life and eventually find someone wants the same things you do, hopefully before your kids are gown and emotionally mangled. The truth is, you don’t need signs when the writing is on the wall right there in black and white.
You want a serious relationship, he wants a casual one. And even though facing the truth stings and even hurts sometimes, you always get the gift; a sense of self-respect and self-love that will be a part of you for the rest of your life and the freedom to consciously choose something else for yourself and the family that is already serious about you! Go forth and love yourself, ‘cause like I always say, Great relationships begin within!!
I recently proposed to the woman I have been living with for 10 years who is also the mother of our 8-year-old-child. She says she doesn’t think she’s ready to make this kind of commitment. I feel cheated, confused and suddenly afraid to lose my family. I don’t know where I stand now as I wasn’t expecting this and am wondering what I should do?
- Alvin (33, Pasadena, CA)
What great questions Alvin, particularly the one about wondering where you stand, because I am going to show you exactly where you stand right now! Whether this moment is filled with angst, doubt, fear or overwhelming feelings of rejection, you ALWAYS have you! That’s where you stand. (And your eight-year-old is counting on that!) Now that you see there is no WE without ME!
But what you stand for is what might be confusing you (and perhaps everyone else concerned here), seeing as you have stood for things in the past that have suddenly changed. After 10 years, why now? Do you simply want to be closer, or is something else causing you to feel insecure? What were you expecting? Had you talked about being married? And what’s up with feeling cheated; did she promise you something and then take it away, or threaten to leave you? Is there an ultimatum on the table like “Marry me or I am leaving”? All things you may want to consider before you take any action at all.
Alvin, you have made it a whole decade with this person without being married, which you can be proud of! Now go talk with your partner and find out where her head and heart are at before you jump to any conclusions. She may be overwhelmed or have a legitimate concern about getting married. If you still feel confused about where and for what you stand in this relationship you might consider that a little prayer never hurt anyone! And then listen some more…anytime we drop to our knees and asks for Divine guidance, angels sing! Hugs and blessings, my friend.
For more info about Maryanne and her relationship coaching etc., visit http://maryannelive.com
Maryanne shares her answers to some of the questions readers and listeners send. Want your question answered? Email info@maryannelive.com !
“I recently got back together with my ex-boyfriend then he broke up with me again, then we got back together then he broke up again and now we are back together. He barely ever calls me or texts me; sometimes three days will go by before he contacts me. We both have kids but we don’t hang out with them. He’s not interested in my family, I’m not sure if he is serious about our relationship. What are the signs I should look for to tell me that he is?”
- Amanda (23, Hilbert, WI)
ROCK SLIDE AHEAD, CAUTION, GO BACK YOU ARE GOING WRONG WAY! How's that for a sign? Then ask yourself, what are you doing with this guy? Is it the challenge? You can’t stand rejection? Or maybe a lack of self-esteem? Or maybe he’s got a big heart and you know deep down he really wants to be serious but he can’t seem to show it but you’re going to wait because you have no other prospects, nothing better to do, or are telling yourself he’s definitely going to change.
Maybe if you’re lucky, he will see the signs you can’t seem to see and leave you once and for all so you can get on with your life and eventually find someone wants the same things you do, hopefully before your kids are gown and emotionally mangled. The truth is, you don’t need signs when the writing is on the wall right there in black and white.
You want a serious relationship, he wants a casual one. And even though facing the truth stings and even hurts sometimes, you always get the gift; a sense of self-respect and self-love that will be a part of you for the rest of your life and the freedom to consciously choose something else for yourself and the family that is already serious about you! Go forth and love yourself, ‘cause like I always say, Great relationships begin within!!
I recently proposed to the woman I have been living with for 10 years who is also the mother of our 8-year-old-child. She says she doesn’t think she’s ready to make this kind of commitment. I feel cheated, confused and suddenly afraid to lose my family. I don’t know where I stand now as I wasn’t expecting this and am wondering what I should do?
- Alvin (33, Pasadena, CA)
What great questions Alvin, particularly the one about wondering where you stand, because I am going to show you exactly where you stand right now! Whether this moment is filled with angst, doubt, fear or overwhelming feelings of rejection, you ALWAYS have you! That’s where you stand. (And your eight-year-old is counting on that!) Now that you see there is no WE without ME!
But what you stand for is what might be confusing you (and perhaps everyone else concerned here), seeing as you have stood for things in the past that have suddenly changed. After 10 years, why now? Do you simply want to be closer, or is something else causing you to feel insecure? What were you expecting? Had you talked about being married? And what’s up with feeling cheated; did she promise you something and then take it away, or threaten to leave you? Is there an ultimatum on the table like “Marry me or I am leaving”? All things you may want to consider before you take any action at all.
Alvin, you have made it a whole decade with this person without being married, which you can be proud of! Now go talk with your partner and find out where her head and heart are at before you jump to any conclusions. She may be overwhelmed or have a legitimate concern about getting married. If you still feel confused about where and for what you stand in this relationship you might consider that a little prayer never hurt anyone! And then listen some more…anytime we drop to our knees and asks for Divine guidance, angels sing! Hugs and blessings, my friend.
For more info about Maryanne and her relationship coaching etc., visit http://maryannelive.com
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