What I Know for Sure… Saying Nothing Says Everything

I used to be a spoken word artist. When I was, I would write these lengthy poems designed for recitation. They would be 3-4 minutes long and they would explore all that I could think to say on a topic. In grad school (the first time), I started writing for the page and experimenting with silence. Writing for the page required me to say all that I needed to say with the least amount of words and silence work required me to say all that I needed to say with no words at all.

I guess my life has been imitating my art lately. It has become full of elongated silences and pregnant pauses. It also has moved me to speak only when I have just the point I want to make and conserve my words for their proper use. When I try to thoroughly explain things now, I feel like I’m overdoing something and I inevitably settle back into my silence. There are people who I don’t talk to for months or years and that empty space is filled with nothing but love. Then there can be a person that I don’t speak to for 7 minutes because inside that space is the rage of a thousand demons that would surely burn them to ash if I part my lips. Two very different and telling experiences.

What I know for sure… Saying nothing can say everything. Once I released myself from the burden of being liked, I didn’t need to explain everything so profusely. In the silence, is everything I want to say on the matter. It is what I’m willing to do about it. It is all the effort I’m willing to give to it. It is all that I have left. My silences to others and their silences toward me have said so much more than any words we could have ever spoken.