Dealing With Difficult People Speaker Handling Screamers Yelling While Staying Cool
Screamers think by yelling they can get their point across, but primarily point out they are out of control and socially dysfunctional and inept of carrying themselves appropriately.
I enjoyed Oprah's interview with President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama, during which Pres. Obama said, "I don't yell. When I'm not happy I express my displeasure by speaking more crisply and thereby get my point across. I find that yelling does not work and in fact is less effective."
Here are 7 secrets to handle screamers and those given to yelling:
1. Leave the room and waiting until they cool down.
2. Ask them why they feel it is important to yell.
3. Inform them that you will NOT communicate with them while they are yelling.
4. If they continue yelling thereafter, remove them from your life until they can apologize and get themselves together (perhaps with some counseling and therapy).
5. Refuse to cave or emotionally be manipulated by the screamer given to yelling.
6. Hold strong to your values and convictions, despite the present volume that causes you internal disruption and would seek to break your focus.
7. Write the screamer and person giving to yelling a letter to hold true to your stance and opinion on the matter, while not subjecting yourself to their overbearing volume and cry baby tactics.
To stay cool:
1. Conceal your inward thoughts outwardly, showing as little as emotion as possible (remembering the screaming manipulator strives to fluster you and get you to react rather than be proactive).
2. Breathe deeply, as fear causes us to breathe shallow and restricts the life flow within.
3. Slow down intentionally and purposefully to refrain from jumping to snap judgments, speaking hastily or acting prematurely.
Be calm, stay cool and slowly assess the situation giving yourself days, weeks, months (and if necessary years) to set boundaries, evaluate and examine the person with whom you are in a disagreement before allowing them entry back into your life.
When you do decide to allow the unruly person back into your life, set the boundaries and rules for engagement beforehand (even better if you can get the agreement in writing lest they revert to their old ways).
Time always reveals truth. Don't be in a hurry.
Let time reveal truth as to what you should (or should not do).
Decide from the beginning not to be emotionally burdened and broken down by those who yell and scream.
http://www.PaulFDavis.com/dealing-wit...
Paul F. Davis is a Global Property Specialist, Green Homes and Buildings Consultant and Debt Arbitrator for financial freedom.
Paul is the author of 18 books and a worldwide speaker who has touched 60 countries building bridges cross-culturally by joyfully disarming and empowering people throughout the earth to transcend their limitations and live their dreams!
http://www.PaulFDavis.com
info @ PaulFDavis.com
407-967-7553
Earn 20% commission on all paid speaking engagements and consulting Paul obtains through your referral worldwide.
I enjoyed Oprah's interview with President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama, during which Pres. Obama said, "I don't yell. When I'm not happy I express my displeasure by speaking more crisply and thereby get my point across. I find that yelling does not work and in fact is less effective."
Here are 7 secrets to handle screamers and those given to yelling:
1. Leave the room and waiting until they cool down.
2. Ask them why they feel it is important to yell.
3. Inform them that you will NOT communicate with them while they are yelling.
4. If they continue yelling thereafter, remove them from your life until they can apologize and get themselves together (perhaps with some counseling and therapy).
5. Refuse to cave or emotionally be manipulated by the screamer given to yelling.
6. Hold strong to your values and convictions, despite the present volume that causes you internal disruption and would seek to break your focus.
7. Write the screamer and person giving to yelling a letter to hold true to your stance and opinion on the matter, while not subjecting yourself to their overbearing volume and cry baby tactics.
To stay cool:
1. Conceal your inward thoughts outwardly, showing as little as emotion as possible (remembering the screaming manipulator strives to fluster you and get you to react rather than be proactive).
2. Breathe deeply, as fear causes us to breathe shallow and restricts the life flow within.
3. Slow down intentionally and purposefully to refrain from jumping to snap judgments, speaking hastily or acting prematurely.
Be calm, stay cool and slowly assess the situation giving yourself days, weeks, months (and if necessary years) to set boundaries, evaluate and examine the person with whom you are in a disagreement before allowing them entry back into your life.
When you do decide to allow the unruly person back into your life, set the boundaries and rules for engagement beforehand (even better if you can get the agreement in writing lest they revert to their old ways).
Time always reveals truth. Don't be in a hurry.
Let time reveal truth as to what you should (or should not do).
Decide from the beginning not to be emotionally burdened and broken down by those who yell and scream.
http://www.PaulFDavis.com/dealing-wit...
Paul F. Davis is a Global Property Specialist, Green Homes and Buildings Consultant and Debt Arbitrator for financial freedom.
Paul is the author of 18 books and a worldwide speaker who has touched 60 countries building bridges cross-culturally by joyfully disarming and empowering people throughout the earth to transcend their limitations and live their dreams!
http://www.PaulFDavis.com
info @ PaulFDavis.com
407-967-7553
Earn 20% commission on all paid speaking engagements and consulting Paul obtains through your referral worldwide.
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