The Effects of a Job You Hate
You can’t block it out
I always assumed that I could deal with this all day, come home from work and forget about it. One day I was on edge, my wife and kids would say things that weren’t a big deal and I snapped, this happened more times than it should have. It took me a while to realize that even though I tried to leave all that stuff at work, I couldn’t.
Think about it, you spend 40 hours of your week, maybe even more at work. How can you bottle up what you deal with all those hours? It’s only natural that no matter how hard you try, what you dealt with will seep in somehow.
Lets say you’re a stronger person and can hold it together better. There might be things you’re projecting without even realizing it, this is a lesson I’ve learned the hard way. So I laid out that back story for a reason.
Your family may be picking up on what’s going on inside
For the last two years we have homeschooled our children. One of the first things you see in homeschooling your children is all the little quirks they have. We’re spending a lot of time together and we’re see everything.
I’ve noticed some things in my oldest son and when I traced them back, I have to be honest and realize those bad habits came from me. He has been dealing with impatience, he’s quick to anger, very moody, on edge, he doesn’t want to be active.
Now, one can argue that this is just normal teenage stuff and that’s probably partly true but I know a lot of the bad habits he’s picked up come from seeing them in me. I tried to keep it things to myself but my family picked up on those things, kids are very impressionable.
Think about what you’re going through with your day job (which can be a job or business that isn’t your passion), what are you bringing home? What is your family picking up? What will be the long-term effect on you and them?
When I finally reached the point where my dream supported me and I got freedom, I actually had to take two weeks to detox, I’m not even kidding. I had so much bitterness, anger, hate and a host of issues that I needed to let go of.
I took two weeks to pray, meditate, talk it over with my family and get right. The very next thing I did was start to repair the relationship with my family and work on helping my son.
What can you do about it?
If you’re reading this and it’s resonating, then it’s time to take action. Time is the one thing we’ll never get back, so every moment is precious. All the moments we have with our family are valuable beyond belief. It’s important to spend quality time, not time filled with work issues.
The best way to move forward is to realize what’s going on and talk through the issues. It’s absolutely amazing what happens when you verbalize what’s going on inside. If you talk to someone you trust, they can be an amazing comfort.
During that two-week period, I had long (two hours at a time) conversations with my wife. I decided to stop being a “macho man” and let her in. When I started, it was slow at first but once I got going, the flood gates opened. There were many times when I just had to cry it out.
It’s rough going through a job you’re miserable at, everyday you dream of quitting, I’ve been there. I want you to really understand that you can’t keep this bottled up inside. There is hope and you can find or create freedom. Once you’ve gotten right, be there for your family, be fully present. Your family is far more important than the money.
Then, the best way to combat this is to start moving towards something you’ll love to do. My friend Dan Miller says you can find or create work you love and he’s right. In case you’ve missed it, my New Year’s resolution is to help at least 10 people become fully supported by their dream by the end of next year.
I started something called #DreamYear, if you’re in a situation like I’ve been talking about in this post, you might want to consider joining. It’s absolutely free. Details here, join our private Facebook group here.
What have been some of the effects you’ve dealt with from a job you weren’t passionate about?
