Writing tips from poetry: Action Scenes

I recently wrote a post on writing tips from poetry for softer scenes. The response has been massive (not really, but let’s pretend that a blog post with the word ‘poetry’ in the title doesn’t make people run for cover).
And now, because I’m just that kind of stubborn, here’s a follow-up post on writing tips from poetry for action scenes! Say it with me, y’all: WOO HOO!!!!

Tip Number 1. Make up words

The English language is a pain in my ass. Time and again, I struggle to find the right word to describe something, so I do what Lewis Carroll did: make shit up. Compound words especially, like Angelfire, window-hole, something-slash-something. If nothing else, you know no one else has seen it before. Here’s a poem with the Master of Making Up Words at work:

Jabberwocky

by Lewis Carroll

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun

The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand:

Long time the manxome foe he sought—

So rested he by the Tumtum tree,

And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,

The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! and through and through

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

He left it dead, and with its head

He went galumphing back.

“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?

Come to my arms, my beamish boy!

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”

He chortled in his joy.

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

2. Short sentences

Action scenes do well with shorter sentences. Oh, and if I can find a way to work in a countdown, I do that too. E. E. Cummings is my inspiration here. In the poem below, the phrases are short, sweet and crazy-powerful. Buffalo Bill comes to life, shooting clay pigeons from his charging steed…

Buffalo Bills’ defunct

E. E. Cummings

Buffalo Bill's

defunct

who used to

ride a watersmooth-silver

stallion

and break onetwothreefourfive pigeonsjustlikethat

Jesus

he was a handsome man

and what i want to know is

how do you like your blueeyed boy

Mister Death

3. Hard consonants & more

IMHO, the ultimate word master—in the sense of playing with language—is none other than T. S. Eliot. He was also a rather verbose poet, so I won’t cut-n-paste all of The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock below, but I will share one section as an example:

I should have been a pair of ragged claws

Scuttling across the floors of silent seas

Just reading that, I want to take a shower. Why? It’s the hard consonants that he uses: g, p, t. And since he’s such a pro, he uses complex consonant structures like cl and sc, too. Add to that some killer imagery (ragged claws, WTF?) and a classy dose of onomatopoeia (you can see the ragged little claws scuttle-scuttle-scuttle), and the action comes to LIFE!

When writing action scenes, Eliot’s lessons are clear: use consonants, onomatopoeia, and strong imagery. Oh yeah, and don’t be afraid to go for the ragged claws! Make your audience a little ill.

Coming up next from Writing Tip Land: Another verb that I freaking hate

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