Turning on the Safety

I hope to be a parent someday. And that hope brings on another—I hope I’m not a tyrant like my own parents were to me.

Oh sure, they got lucky on a few things—“Don’t touch the stove!” and “Get down off that roof right now, young man!”—but generally their “advice” was a needless power trip.

One of the most ridiculous regulations they imposed was a strict gun ban. There were no guns in our house, and even our water guns had to be splattered with bright cartoonish paint so as to not resemble a rea...