An open letter to Dan Savage

Dear Dan--

I write you not in your capacity as advice columnist, but as sexual
America's Neologist-In-Chief, the man with his finger on the perineum of
contemporary English.

Here's a list of words: blood, sweat, tears, come (or semen, or jizz, or,
if you must, cum), precome. Lymph, bile, pus, piss, snot, earwax. Human
bodily secretions have short, common names.

There's one glaring exception: vaginal lubrication. Two words, seven
syllables, all suck. There's not a simple clinical term, there's not a
sl...