Rest in Peace, Kelsi.
The other night, a Tumblr blogger killed herself.
I won't say she did it only because of the anonymous hate she received, because it takes more than that. It takes someone who feels trapped, helpless, and hopeless. Someone who feels there is nothing left and the only way for the pain to end is to die. They often feel like a burden to those around them, and any offerings of kindness are usually brushed aside because the person feels undeserving.
I know this, because I've felt like this. I sometimes still do. Depression is a horrible, miserable thing, and it's very very real. It's why I write books about it--because sometimes knowing you aren't alone and others are going through what you are can help.
Sometimes. Not always.
I didn't know Kelsi, though her blog was one of my wife's favorites and the few times they spoke, she said Kelsi was incredibly kind and sweet. Looking through the link above, it's obvious she had many, many people who loved her and are torn apart by her death.
She was in her early twenties. She had a husband and a child. Some people have the audacity to say, "She was a selfish bitch to leave her kid like that," and while I do feel horrible for the family and broken pieces she left behind, please don't ever think what she did was out of anything other than desperation. Most people who commit suicide feel they're doing their family a favor by leaving. It goes right back to that 'feeling undeserving' factor.
I wish she had turned off anonymous messages. I wish I had known the day she did it so I could have reached out. So I could have asked everyone I know in my circles and communities to reach out. Maybe it would not have helped, but I would hope if I were in that situation someone would have it in them to say my name and remind me that bad things don't last forever.
To my friends, to my readers, to anyone and everyone: I will always talk to you about your feelings if you need me. And if I see you hurting, I will try to reach out.
To Kelsi's family and friends: All I can say is that I'm sorry. She was a beautiful girl with a beautiful family, and the pain of what has happened will linger forever. I hope the good memories shine through the grief.
To the anons who were sending her hate and coaxing her into killing herself: I hope you're satisfied. And because I don't want to wish ill on anyone, I hope the one time you need help most in all your entire sad, hate-filled little lives, someone reaches out to you...and you realize it's what you should have done for Kelsi. I hope it stays with you forever that you had a part in her death.
When someone is on a ledge, you don't push them, you hold out a hand.
Rest in peace, Kelsi.
I won't say she did it only because of the anonymous hate she received, because it takes more than that. It takes someone who feels trapped, helpless, and hopeless. Someone who feels there is nothing left and the only way for the pain to end is to die. They often feel like a burden to those around them, and any offerings of kindness are usually brushed aside because the person feels undeserving.
I know this, because I've felt like this. I sometimes still do. Depression is a horrible, miserable thing, and it's very very real. It's why I write books about it--because sometimes knowing you aren't alone and others are going through what you are can help.
Sometimes. Not always.
I didn't know Kelsi, though her blog was one of my wife's favorites and the few times they spoke, she said Kelsi was incredibly kind and sweet. Looking through the link above, it's obvious she had many, many people who loved her and are torn apart by her death.
She was in her early twenties. She had a husband and a child. Some people have the audacity to say, "She was a selfish bitch to leave her kid like that," and while I do feel horrible for the family and broken pieces she left behind, please don't ever think what she did was out of anything other than desperation. Most people who commit suicide feel they're doing their family a favor by leaving. It goes right back to that 'feeling undeserving' factor.
I wish she had turned off anonymous messages. I wish I had known the day she did it so I could have reached out. So I could have asked everyone I know in my circles and communities to reach out. Maybe it would not have helped, but I would hope if I were in that situation someone would have it in them to say my name and remind me that bad things don't last forever.
To my friends, to my readers, to anyone and everyone: I will always talk to you about your feelings if you need me. And if I see you hurting, I will try to reach out.
To Kelsi's family and friends: All I can say is that I'm sorry. She was a beautiful girl with a beautiful family, and the pain of what has happened will linger forever. I hope the good memories shine through the grief.
To the anons who were sending her hate and coaxing her into killing herself: I hope you're satisfied. And because I don't want to wish ill on anyone, I hope the one time you need help most in all your entire sad, hate-filled little lives, someone reaches out to you...and you realize it's what you should have done for Kelsi. I hope it stays with you forever that you had a part in her death.
When someone is on a ledge, you don't push them, you hold out a hand.
Rest in peace, Kelsi.
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message 1:
by
Laura
(new)
Oct 30, 2013 11:12AM
The anons are nothing more than murderers. I think that bullying someone to death, whether online or out in the world, should be treated as murder. We've all felt like Kelsi at one time or another, and I completely agree with one of your last sentences in this blog. Whether they live or die depends on whether you hold your hand out to save them or cruelly push them over the edge. Usually when someone ends their life, it's not just one factor that drove them, it was a lot of things happening at once. They needed kindness and someone to connect with them and reassure them it would be okay. Instead they got cruelty and hate coming from all directions. :(
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Laura wrote: "The anons are nothing more than murderers. I think that bullying someone to death, whether online or out in the world, should be treated as murder. We've all felt like Kelsi at one time or another,..."
Bullycide is now a legal crime where I live, if it makes anyone feel better.
This is so sad and I can say that unfortunately I have felt like this and I know what it's like. And it is a lot of things contributing that leads to suicide.
Mrs. York I finished Suicide watch.
*bawwwwwwwww huhuhhh*
That was my messy sobbing. Your book is so true to the subject. If there was ever a book that deserved to be publicly hailed as genius it's this one.
Bullycide is now a legal crime where I live, if it makes anyone feel better.
This is so sad and I can say that unfortunately I have felt like this and I know what it's like. And it is a lot of things contributing that leads to suicide.
Mrs. York I finished Suicide watch.
*bawwwwwwwww huhuhhh*
That was my messy sobbing. Your book is so true to the subject. If there was ever a book that deserved to be publicly hailed as genius it's this one.
Lia wrote: "Laura wrote: "The anons are nothing more than murderers. I think that bullying someone to death, whether online or out in the world, should be treated as murder. We've all felt like Kelsi at one ti..."Thank you, Lia. I'm very happy you enjoyed it. :)
