Cheesy Chat Up.

If a guy tried it on with a cheesy chat-up line, would you swoon with desire or disgust?

In my romantic comedy Loosely Translated, Mike isn't good with words and certainly not the romantic type. Could he possibly climb out of the huge hole that he digs for himself? Even the romantic situation of taking a relaxing dip in Arabic baths might not be enough to work its magic.

Mike was aware that if he didn’t act now, the moment would be lost. He didn’t have time to speak with his head. He had to speak from the heart.
‘You’re a flower.’
‘Eh?!’
‘Maybe not a rose –’
‘Thanks.’
‘No, what I mean is that roses are a dime a dozen. I can go into any florist and get a rose. They’re the easy choice for men with no imagination. They look good, give them a sniff –’
‘What?! Don’t even think about it.’
‘No, I’m saying that if you were a rose. Er, this isn’t coming out very well. Anyway, with a rose, you stick’em in water and after a couple of days they’re no good and you throw them out.’
‘Charming!’
‘What I’m trying to say, is that you’d be like an orchid. Something different; not so common; much more interesting. Special.’
Maria had her woman’s radar on full power, to detect any nonsense. She was amazed to discover that he was being completely sincere with her. She nervously waited for him to continue.
‘I’m bored with roses. And, uh...’
Without realising it, Maria had moved in closer to Mike until she was standing directly in front of him. She reached up and smoothed down two twisted locks of wet hair that stood up on his head like horns.
The gentle touch of Maria’s hand helped to unblock his feelings. Mike took a firm grip on his courage since he was about to express something that he’d never been able to say to a woman before.
‘I want to plant you.’
‘You what?!’ Maria burst out laughing. ‘You do talk complete rubbish at times. What are you on about?’
‘You know – I don’t want you to be a cut flower that’s gonna wilt in a few days. I want to plant you so that you’ll grow and put down roots and be around for years and I can water you every day and...’
His concept of romance was very strange, but it was the thought that counted. She had heard the essence of what she wanted to hear and now she needed to silence his lips.

If that sounds like your cup of tea, buy me a couple of beers - that's about how much the book costs, and you'll get that warm, fuzzy feeling of helping out an indie author. Cheers!

Loosely Translated at Amazon.com