Do NOT go shopping without a belt tied around your head

Shopping is dangerous.

Stuff like this happens:

You’re walking around the mall, minding your business,

you look into a window and realize you’re missing the top half of your head.

Not good.

This doesn’t just happen to guys, mind you.

Ladies suffer the same fate.

That’s why I walk around the mall with a belt or scarf tied around my head.

So far, I haven’t lost the top of my head…

…but I can’t figure out how to keep my face from disappearing.

Suggestions are welcome.