Why You Need to be Real

[image error]We recently spoke with Elizabeth Lesser, co-founder of the Omega Instutute, a non-profit, educational center in Rhinebeck, NY that hosts forums, conferences and workshops on personal growth. She had some powerful insights to share with us.

What is it that sparked in you the need to focus so intently on your personal growth?

I was drawn to seek wisdom from others at a young age. My earliest memories are of waking up in the middle of the night at age four or five, terrified about the prospect of death. I wanted desperately to find someone who might know more than I did about such things. And so, when I left home and struck out on my own, I looked for and found brilliant teachers and comforting guides who helped me probe these universal questions.

In your book Broken Open, you talk about the impact of your divorce. What did you do to overcome that and how has it helped you grow?

I had so much fear about the future—for my children, my finances, what I thought my life was supposed to be. I was faced with a choice—I could fall apart and become bitter, or I could use the disaster to reevaluate who I was, what I wanted, where I was going on my life journey. Everyone is faced with that choice at different times in life. You can fight against it and ask “why me?" or, you can ask what the loss has to teach you.

There are many ways to help you stay open when things are changing, like meditation, therapy and physical exercise have helped me tremendously. But you know what helps the most? Knowing that you are not alone; that there is not something wrong with you; really understanding that EVERYONE goes through hard times.

What was your goal in co-founding the Omega Institute? What do you feel it has to offer its students?

I was quite young when we started Omega—in my early twenties. We didn’t have a “goal” as much as we had passion—for a different way of living and learning.  We didn’t realize then that we were at the front of a huge wave that would sweep the country. Omega has grown into an institute of influence way beyond our early imaginings. Thirty-six years ago our signature coursework was far from the mainstream of American thought and practice. But today our teachers are featured in the press and medical schools train doctors in the subjects we helped pioneer.

We at WomenWorking are committed to empowering women and girls. You've started Omega’s Women and Power conference. What do women need to know about connecting more with their power and taking initiative to become leaders?

I am interested in women not just becoming powerful, but also in redefining what a powerful person looks like and acts like. Power and strength in the service of ego, with the fuel of pride and violence—this is a worn-out, old-world paradigm. Which means women have an incredible opportunity, even an advantage. As POWER-OUTSIDERS for most of recorded history, we are coming into our own strength at an auspicious time. As old systems of governing and leading break down, as the world becomes ever more interconnected, we have the chance to recognize what’s broken and to create something different.

As a mother of three sons, what lessons do we need to teach our boys about relating to women?

I don’t think teaching our boys about how to relate to women is as important as BEING the kind of woman in our boys’ lives who demands a certain kind of respect and love. And having the kind of relationships with the men in our lives—husbands, colleagues, friends—that model respect for our authentic selves.

You’ve worked with Oprah Winfrey and studied with amazing spiritual leaders like the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh. What have those collaborations taught you?

I have met hundreds of spiritual leaders in my years at Omega. I am most touched and inspired by people who have the courage to be real. People like Oprah, the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh aspire to walk what they talk. They aren’t perfect—that is one thing I have learned through my collaborations. No one is perfect. The point is not to be perfect, rather it is to commit every day—over and over—to be true to one’s deepest and most simple inklings of wisdom, kindness and grace.

-Sarah Cooke