Excerpt from Sacrifice Chapter 15: The Note
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“Caleb is a lucky man,” he continued ignoring my flushed face. “I envy him you know—how happy he is. How happy he is with you.” With every word he spoke I could feel his stare penetrating the skin on my face like flamethrowers but I wouldn’t dare look at him. Embarrassed, I kept my eyes fixed on the pattern. “But I don’t just envy his happiness. I envy the very thought of being in love and knowing I had someone who loved me in return.
“I’ve seen how he looks at you and how you look at him. Just the mention of his name lights up your eyes. Never in the long century that I’ve been what I am did I ever believe our kind could feel anything else except the God forsaken bloodlust and the hatred for humans.” His voice had elevated into almost a shout at the end. I jumped slightly from an automatic response I’d unconsciously developed when hearing him shout. No matter how much he may have changed on the inside, there will always be a part of me that will fear his anger. “Secretly,” he mumbled in a quieter tone, “I’ve always wanted to know what it would feel like to lust, to hunger for something different. But I’ve never been able to imagine ever experiencing that kind of desire.”
“Often I’ve wondered what it would feel like to be Caleb,” he whispered softly. “To feel the warmth of your skin under my cold hand or your hot breath on my lips. These last few days have been torment on my curiosity.”
“I wonder…” He whispered again stopping to search my eyes. A hundred different emotions danced in his and for the second time tonight I watched his hand rise to my face. My breath caught in my throat again. I couldn’t be sure but it felt as if he was using his mind control ability on me because I was suddenly frozen to the bed. I felt myself wanting to give him a chance to experience what he so longed for and as crazy as it sounded, what I had been longing for.
As his hand drew closer I wanted to close my eyes and focus on something else but I couldn’t, they wouldn’t budge not even to blink. Then I felt his icy fingers touch my cheek sending a shock wave of tingling electric chills all over my body. And very slowly he traced my cheekbone down to my jaw line then cupped my face in his palm, all the while never releasing his gaze from mine. For the first time he looked truly happy and finally at peace.
The rush of so many different overwhelming emotions flooding my heart and my mind was too much for me to handle inadvertently causing warm tears to well up in my eyes. I couldn’t breath and at any second I knew I was going to hyperventilate. For a moment I didn’t think he’d noticed, or at least I hoped he hadn’t, but just then a single tear escaped the brim of my eye and rolled down my cheek and over my lips. His eyes followed the tear all the way down and it was then that I realized he hadn’t been holding my gaze after all—it was all me.
Panic was rising in my chest lodging itself in my throat in the form of a lump. I tried to think about something else, anything else besides this but my mind refused to function properly. I felt paralyzed. This wasn’t happening; this couldn’t be happening.
With his thumb he gently wiped the tear from my cheek tracking its path down to the corner of my mouth. He lingered there for one long and tormenting second and then boldly began outlining my lips, parting them slightly. I could taste the salt of my teardrop seeping into my mouth. My lips trembled under his touch.
I saw his eyes shift back and forth from my mouth to my eyes. The anxiety I was feeling was stifling and beginning to make my head whirl. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t be forced to look at his again. The rest of the tears fell on their own.
The hand holding my face slid down to my neck and came to rest on my shoulder. Cool gentle lips pressed against my cheek gradually working their way down to my jaw, past my ear and down my throat. My body shivered with every kiss. He was so gentle I didn’t even feel my bruises. It was hard to feel as uncomfortable as before now because this was exactly what I had been needing and my body was ready to revel in it.
“Caleb is a lucky man,” he continued ignoring my flushed face. “I envy him you know—how happy he is. How happy he is with you.” With every word he spoke I could feel his stare penetrating the skin on my face like flamethrowers but I wouldn’t dare look at him. Embarrassed, I kept my eyes fixed on the pattern. “But I don’t just envy his happiness. I envy the very thought of being in love and knowing I had someone who loved me in return.
“I’ve seen how he looks at you and how you look at him. Just the mention of his name lights up your eyes. Never in the long century that I’ve been what I am did I ever believe our kind could feel anything else except the God forsaken bloodlust and the hatred for humans.” His voice had elevated into almost a shout at the end. I jumped slightly from an automatic response I’d unconsciously developed when hearing him shout. No matter how much he may have changed on the inside, there will always be a part of me that will fear his anger. “Secretly,” he mumbled in a quieter tone, “I’ve always wanted to know what it would feel like to lust, to hunger for something different. But I’ve never been able to imagine ever experiencing that kind of desire.”
“Often I’ve wondered what it would feel like to be Caleb,” he whispered softly. “To feel the warmth of your skin under my cold hand or your hot breath on my lips. These last few days have been torment on my curiosity.”
“I wonder…” He whispered again stopping to search my eyes. A hundred different emotions danced in his and for the second time tonight I watched his hand rise to my face. My breath caught in my throat again. I couldn’t be sure but it felt as if he was using his mind control ability on me because I was suddenly frozen to the bed. I felt myself wanting to give him a chance to experience what he so longed for and as crazy as it sounded, what I had been longing for.
As his hand drew closer I wanted to close my eyes and focus on something else but I couldn’t, they wouldn’t budge not even to blink. Then I felt his icy fingers touch my cheek sending a shock wave of tingling electric chills all over my body. And very slowly he traced my cheekbone down to my jaw line then cupped my face in his palm, all the while never releasing his gaze from mine. For the first time he looked truly happy and finally at peace.
The rush of so many different overwhelming emotions flooding my heart and my mind was too much for me to handle inadvertently causing warm tears to well up in my eyes. I couldn’t breath and at any second I knew I was going to hyperventilate. For a moment I didn’t think he’d noticed, or at least I hoped he hadn’t, but just then a single tear escaped the brim of my eye and rolled down my cheek and over my lips. His eyes followed the tear all the way down and it was then that I realized he hadn’t been holding my gaze after all—it was all me.
Panic was rising in my chest lodging itself in my throat in the form of a lump. I tried to think about something else, anything else besides this but my mind refused to function properly. I felt paralyzed. This wasn’t happening; this couldn’t be happening.
With his thumb he gently wiped the tear from my cheek tracking its path down to the corner of my mouth. He lingered there for one long and tormenting second and then boldly began outlining my lips, parting them slightly. I could taste the salt of my teardrop seeping into my mouth. My lips trembled under his touch.
I saw his eyes shift back and forth from my mouth to my eyes. The anxiety I was feeling was stifling and beginning to make my head whirl. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t be forced to look at his again. The rest of the tears fell on their own.
The hand holding my face slid down to my neck and came to rest on my shoulder. Cool gentle lips pressed against my cheek gradually working their way down to my jaw, past my ear and down my throat. My body shivered with every kiss. He was so gentle I didn’t even feel my bruises. It was hard to feel as uncomfortable as before now because this was exactly what I had been needing and my body was ready to revel in it.
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