Kellie Thacker's Blog - Posts Tagged "kellie-thacker"

“Abby,” he shook his head while rubbing his temples. “You are making this more difficult for me. How can I make you understand…..to believe that what I’m telling you is true?” Then he stopped. For a moment his body was frozen and then he looked up at me dropping his hands to his sides. His eyes were wide with exultant relief. “I have an idea.”

Slowly he began walking toward me despite my protests, face softened from the hard line of anger only seconds ago. His hands reached out in front of him, palms facing me. “Don’t be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you. I promise.” Soon he was standing inches away from me. My head was spinning again; I didn’t know what to do. He was so close I didn’t know whether to hug him or push him back. I could smell his cologne and it made me lightheaded and I felt his cool breath blow in my face.

He began unbuttoning his shirt. I knew any minute I was going faint from lack of oxygen at the sight of his chest. . “Give me your hand,” he whispered, almost purring. Reluctantly, I placed my hand in his and slowly he laid it on his chest. He felt like stone, cold and hard, but his skin still oddly flexible. I could see the imprint of my fingers indenting his alabaster skin.

Through my hand I felt his chest moving up and down but then his breathing stopped, and there was nothing. For a long moment he never drew another breath. I stared at him in disbelief.

“Why? How?” Was all I could get out.
He placed his hands on either side of my face, “Listen,” he commanded and pulled my face down to rest my ear over his heart. Again, there was nothing. No thumping, no anything. Complete silence.

**Sacrifice is not yet featured on Goodreads but is available at Amazon here... http://www.amazon.com/Sacrifice-Redem...


“Caleb is a lucky man,” he continued ignoring my flushed face. “I envy him you know—how happy he is. How happy he is with you.” With every word he spoke I could feel his stare penetrating the skin on my face like flamethrowers but I wouldn’t dare look at him. Embarrassed, I kept my eyes fixed on the pattern. “But I don’t just envy his happiness. I envy the very thought of being in love and knowing I had someone who loved me in return.

“I’ve seen how he looks at you and how you look at him. Just the mention of his name lights up your eyes. Never in the long century that I’ve been what I am did I ever believe our kind could feel anything else except the God forsaken bloodlust and the hatred for humans.” His voice had elevated into almost a shout at the end. I jumped slightly from an automatic response I’d unconsciously developed when hearing him shout. No matter how much he may have changed on the inside, there will always be a part of me that will fear his anger. “Secretly,” he mumbled in a quieter tone, “I’ve always wanted to know what it would feel like to lust, to hunger for something different. But I’ve never been able to imagine ever experiencing that kind of desire.”

“Often I’ve wondered what it would feel like to be Caleb,” he whispered softly. “To feel the warmth of your skin under my cold hand or your hot breath on my lips. These last few days have been torment on my curiosity.”

“I wonder…” He whispered again stopping to search my eyes. A hundred different emotions danced in his and for the second time tonight I watched his hand rise to my face. My breath caught in my throat again. I couldn’t be sure but it felt as if he was using his mind control ability on me because I was suddenly frozen to the bed. I felt myself wanting to give him a chance to experience what he so longed for and as crazy as it sounded, what I had been longing for.

As his hand drew closer I wanted to close my eyes and focus on something else but I couldn’t, they wouldn’t budge not even to blink. Then I felt his icy fingers touch my cheek sending a shock wave of tingling electric chills all over my body. And very slowly he traced my cheekbone down to my jaw line then cupped my face in his palm, all the while never releasing his gaze from mine. For the first time he looked truly happy and finally at peace.

The rush of so many different overwhelming emotions flooding my heart and my mind was too much for me to handle inadvertently causing warm tears to well up in my eyes. I couldn’t breath and at any second I knew I was going to hyperventilate. For a moment I didn’t think he’d noticed, or at least I hoped he hadn’t, but just then a single tear escaped the brim of my eye and rolled down my cheek and over my lips. His eyes followed the tear all the way down and it was then that I realized he hadn’t been holding my gaze after all—it was all me.

Panic was rising in my chest lodging itself in my throat in the form of a lump. I tried to think about something else, anything else besides this but my mind refused to function properly. I felt paralyzed. This wasn’t happening; this couldn’t be happening.
With his thumb he gently wiped the tear from my cheek tracking its path down to the corner of my mouth. He lingered there for one long and tormenting second and then boldly began outlining my lips, parting them slightly. I could taste the salt of my teardrop seeping into my mouth. My lips trembled under his touch.

I saw his eyes shift back and forth from my mouth to my eyes. The anxiety I was feeling was stifling and beginning to make my head whirl. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t be forced to look at his again. The rest of the tears fell on their own.

The hand holding my face slid down to my neck and came to rest on my shoulder. Cool gentle lips pressed against my cheek gradually working their way down to my jaw, past my ear and down my throat. My body shivered with every kiss. He was so gentle I didn’t even feel my bruises. It was hard to feel as uncomfortable as before now because this was exactly what I had been needing and my body was ready to revel in it.

What better way to sum up how you feel than with music. Some writers say they listen to music while they write. Others, like me, listen to music to get them in the mood to write. And then, like me, put music to their final work.

I can read a book that tugs at every emotion I have but I never quite let go until I hear a song that screams every word I've just read, compiled in a lyrical masterpiece.

While writing Redemption, I found a song that screamed at me. One that summed up Caleb and Abby's relationship in 3 minutes. Crashed by Chris Daughtry will forever be the lyrical masterpiece that was meant for Abby and Caleb. With lines like...

Somehow I couldn't stop myself
Just wanted to know how it felt
Too strong I couldn't hold on

Crashed is a perfect word to describe the feeling of unexpectedly falling in love while trying to fight it. It pulls and pulls on your heart until finally the pressure becomes too much and your heart crashes into theirs--sparks flying.

I leave you with the full lyrics of Crashed.

Well, I was moving at the speed of sound
Head spinning, couldn't find my way around and
Didn't know that I was going down, yeah, yeah
Where I've been, well, it's all a blur
What I was looking for, I'm not sure
Too late and didn't see you coming, yeah, yeah

And then I crashed into you and I went up in flames
Could've been the death of me but then you breathed your breath in me
Then I crashed into you like a runaway train
You will consume me, well, I can't walk away

Somehow I couldn't stop myself
Just wanted to know how it felt
Too strong I couldn't hold on, yeah, yeah
Now I'm just trying to make some sense
Out of how and why this happened
Where we're headed, there's just no knowing, yeah, yeah

And then I crashed into you and I went up in flames
Could've been the death of me but then you breathed your breath in me
Then I crashed into you like a runaway train
You will consume me, well, I can't walk away

Your face, your eyes are burning to me
You save me, you gave me
Just what I need, oh just what I need

And then I crashed into you and I went up in flames
Could've been the death of me but then you breathed your breath in me
Then I crashed into you like a runaway train
You will consume me, but I can't walk away

And then I crashed into you and then I crashed into you
And then I crashed into you and then I crashed into you
Then I crashed into you like a runaway train
You will consume me but I can't walk away

It's hard for me to talk about myself unless I'm given specific questions. My husband doesn't understand why since I'm full of opinions. When it comes to myself, though, I'm at a loss for words.

So, I decided to practice a bit. I know all of you are just dying to know more about little ol' me ;) I sat down and devised a list of 20 facts about myself I thought were interesting. I'm not an exciting person so you can understand why it took several hours to come up with so many. I wonder how long it would take me to come up with 20 more?

1. I'm claustrophobic. My parents never believed me when I was little when I said I couldn't breathe in tight spaces or in darkness. Sad really.

2. I am married to Superman. Yes it's true. My husband has had the nickname Superman for years. Once, he put out a fire at Walmart in the men's clothing department. Just so happen he was wearing a Superman shirt with the 'S' on the chest.

3. On January 12, 2010, my miracle son was born. We tried for years and after prayers and more prayers we finally conceived and had the most perfect child in the world.

4. Embarrassing as it is, I enjoy watching Days of our Lives. I'm pathetic, I know.

5. I have an aunt that was featured on America's Most Wanted. She was called The Chameleon.

6. My dad went to school with Madonna.

7. I have an uncle who worked Secret Service for Bill Clinton while he was governor and his first presidency campaign. And yes, they did bring him women.

8. I'm a very picky eater. For example, I love the flavor of my steak cooked with onions and peppers but I don't like eating onions or peppers. I also do not like my food items to touch each other on my plate.

9. My all time favorite band is Maroon 5. Though, I will listen to just about anything if I think it sounds good.

10. I've only been to one concert my entire life. This past summer, I was given the opportunity to see my favorite band for my 30th birthday. As tempting as it was to put Adam Levine in my trunk, bring him home and hide him under my bed, I refrained.

11. As odd as it may sound, my favorite color is brown. I love many colors but if you take a peek inside my closet the color you will see most is brown. Next is black.

12. I have an unhealthy love for doughnuts. I would choose a glazed doughnut over cookies, cake, pie, ice cream, etc. I have banned glazed doughnuts from entering our home because I cannot eat just one.

13. There are many TV shows I love to watch but for 9 long seasons, my all time favorite is Supernatural. Always consistent and every season leaves me screaming for more. No other characters on TV compare to the lives of Sam and Dean Winchester. Their passion and love for family surpasses any other show I've ever watched (besides Little House on the Prairie). Jensen Ackles and Jared Padelecki are severely underrated actors. They put more emotion in one scene than George Clooney in ten of his movies.

14. I hate feet.

15. My favorite food is cheese.

16. If my life was on the line and I absolutely had to choose, no way around it...I would choose Team Jacob. Please don't hit me with a shovel.

17. I was in a car accident when I was 17 that ruptured a disk in my back.

18. My 2001 Senior Prom I was crowned Prom Queen. No one knew who I was. I had people literally saying, "Oh so you're Kellie."

19. I would love to open my own business. Wedding boutique and catering or cupcake shop.

20. I love the Lord Jesus Christ. I've experienced many many miracles and there's nothing anyone can say or do that will ever change my mind.

With my son's 4th birthday party coming up this weekend, I can feel the crazy person that lurks inside of me crawling her way to the surface. Every year I end up asking myself, why oh why do I go to all this trouble every year, knowing I'll look like a derranged circus clown when it's all over?

If you're like me, you get this fantasy in your head of how it's all gonna go. You start by letting your child choose the theme of the party, which is cute at the time until they choose a theme that you think is ridiculous and end up choosing your idea and talking them into going along with it.

Once you've chosen your theme six months early, you start looking on Pintrest for decoration ideas, cute little finger foods, games, and maybe even a craft or two--all saved in a folder labeled Birthday Parties. A folder you never open again.

During the next six months, you pass through the party decor isle at Walmart every trip, imagining yourself picking out what you'll buy. Maybe you even stop by a few party stores, like Party City--just to see what they offer. Oh, and don't forget that wish list on Amazon. You also may find yourself having 'girl nights' with your best friend to have party talk because your kids' birthdays are close together--even though you have a boy and she has a girl and the parties will be total opposites.

Now the party is a month away and because it follows Christmas, you are now in panic mode. Even though Christmas shopping has taken up most of your time--not to mention money--you are still smart enough to buy your child's birthday presents at the same time. But that's all. As the weeks start passing by quicker than you can comprehend, you begin to realize that all those decorations you were planning to buy are still hanging on the shelves of Walmart in that isle you forgot about as soon as December started.

Two weeks before the party that you set the date for two months ago, you are scrambling to find decorations that correspond with the theme that YOU chose, coming up half empty. To compensate, you sprint to the Dollar Tree hoping they have something remotely close to what you wanted. You spend $10.

Now, it's time for the menu, games, and crafts. You no longer have the time--or the money--to buy the supplies for all those cute little ideas you saved on Pintrest that you don't remember anymore anyway, so you make a quick list of easy-to-fix-and-inexpensive foods--hotdogs--and run to Kroger (or Save-a-lot depending on driving distance). You buy a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey game because, again, you forgot what exactly that game was you saw on Pintrest that looked so fun for the kids. The awesome craft you were going to do with the kids suddenly becomes coloring sheets torn from a $1 coloring book you happened to catch a glimpse of on your way to the gift wrap.

The cake is actually the easiest and most inexpensive part of the entire party planning. Why? Because your mother-in-law is a cake designing expert. That's right. You knew what you where doing when you married her son. So that is taken care of--thank God.

One day to go and you're at the venue covering tables with your Dollar Tree plastic table covers (yes covers, not clothes) and the 3pk of tiny centerpieces you can barely see that you had to buy two of. You'd think they would make them just a BIT bigger. Every year you buy balloons and every year you forget to have them blown up. So this year, you opted out. Who needs balloons? It's just a birthday party for goodness sake!

So now it's the day of. Why didn't you make that pasta salad yesterday so you would have ONE less thing to deal with today? And where the heck is the tape!! Those presents should have been wrapped a month ago! And no need to make all the food at home. The venue has a kitchen--utilize it. Great idea. Now all the guests are arriving and you're still cooking. And where are the plates, napkins and forks? Did you forget cups too? What's wrong with you woman?! Pull yourself together!!

Ten mintues into the party and you child is already trying to open their presents but you want them to eat and cut cake and sing Happy Birthday first. Until you realize you don't have a candle on the cake. Where did you put that candle?! Thanks, now everyone is staring at you like you're an idiot while you dig through bag after bag and box after box trying to find ONE CANDLE!

Ok, thank God that's over. You finally look at your child with a big smile on your face and tell them it's time to open presents! Yay! They run over and grab the first one they see and begin tearing it open in the floor--and so do five other kids. Ok, so maybe their parents forgot to tell them it isn't their birthday party. And now they have ten presents unwrapped that your child hasn't even seen yet. BUT, you bite your tongue and get over it--they're only kids...ONLY kids.

Finally, guests have started to depart and you have sat down to take a break and eat what's left over, which isn't much. You take a deep breath, sigh, and stare longingly at the mess you have to clean up. All that hard work for 30 minutes of "fun". After cleaning for an hour, shoving all the new toys and clothes in your car, not to mention food containers with leftover cake inside, and drive home, you look at your child's sleeping face and you think maybe, just maybe, it was all worth it.

Soon, Grace, the third and final novel in the Redemption trilogy, will be entering the first phase of the editing process.

Grace, by far, has been the most emotional and has taken the longest to write. I started Grace in 2009 but after becoming discouraged about my future as an author, I took a break from writing for a little over a year. In 2011, I took the adivce of a literary agent who had previously turned down Redemption and wrote another novel, titled His Name is Moonlight, which will be out later this year. But, I couldn't shake the fact that I hadn't finished Abby and Caleb's story. So in 2012, Grace was revived.

The following is a glimpse into what's in store for Abby in the pages of Grace.

-Somewhere, deep inside the darkness, familiar words were ringing in my ears.

I'm sure he wouldn't have allowed us to fall in love if he didn't expect us to want to stay together. It will work out. I know it will. Maybe not today or tomorrow but eventually it will all workout for the best in the end--for what's best for the both of us. Let's be happy with what we have and what we can have in the future. Let's revel in each day, each minute and each second we're together. I love you and you're all I want, all I'll ever want no matter if I live a hundered more years. There will never be another you. I want to enjoy you for as lond as I can.

These words from my past echoed around in my head, trying to torture me with their taunting of a time when life felt amazing to live in. Instead of filling my heart with love and passion, these words could only crush and destroy what was left of me. So vile that the word love seemed more sinister than any form hate could come in.-

Redemption is the first novel I successfully completed in 2007. For several years, I submitted query after query to literary agencies only to be turned down over and over. Most used the same excuse that they were already representing a book in my genre. Keeping the faith, I wrote a sequel, Sacrifice, and then started a third. But after getting turned down more times than I could count, I took a break from writing. For a couple of years I focused on raising my son. Then, I took the advice of a literary agent and wrote something different–a novel titled His Name is Moonlight. I didn’t try as hard to get this one published as the others because by then I was researching self-publishing. Last year, in 2013, the Lord blessed me to discover Amazon’s self-publishing, CreateSpace and Kindle Direct. It wasn’t exactly what I had in mind but my dream of becoming a published writer was becoming a reality.

In May 2013, I officially published Redemption.

The following is a compilation of excerpts from the pages of Redemption:

-Quickly, I ran back up the stairs into the hallway and stopped just under the door to the attic. I had to jump to reach the string that pulled the door open and unfolded the steps, but I took my shoes off first so that the sound wouldn’t send grandma running thinking I fell or something.

The steps looked at little weak and unstable but hopefully a hundred and fifteen pounds wouldn’t break them. I stepped up slowly and cautiously trying not to put too much weight on each foot. The steps creaked but held together.

A vast aroma of musty, moldy scents hung heavy in the air and burned my nose and my throat making me cough. With the sunlight shining through the small oblong window, infinitesimal dust particles could be seen whipping about through the rays. The floor was old wood planks that creaked like the stairs with every step and the walls were paneled in what looked to be pine. The room was grayish in the dim sunlight. I pulled the chain to the ceiling light—it clicked once—but nothing happened. Darn, the bulb must be blown.

I stood in the middle of the room and searched curiously with my eyes to take in different objects placed around the room. Everything was covered in dust. Mostly there were cardboard boxes and storage totes stacked on top of each other. An old white dresser sat in one corner, paint chipped and scuffed. In the opposite corner I spotted the chest, dresser, bed railing and headboard that once graced my dad’s bedroom. I automatically walked over to them remembering what the bedroom used to look like before grandma changed it for my benefit.

My big toe jammed into something hard I hadn’t seen in the floor causing me to stumble forward. Before my face hit the dresser I caught myself with my hands inches from the one of the knobs. I grabbed at my throbbing toe and turned to see what I’d tripped over. It was the corner of a chest sticking out from under a pile of blankets. I hobbled over rather loudly and threw off the blankets to get a better look.

The box resembled an old-time toy chest. Rusty colored brown with leather straps that fastened in the front. I knelt down loosening the straps and lifted the dusty lid.

The first thing I saw were aged—yellowish colored—papers. I picked them up and unfolded them gently. They were letters from my dad written to my grandma when he was overseas his two years in Afghanistan. Underneath the letters were his army uniform and a box I found that held his dog tags. Digging further down in the box I found pictures of him and his brother—my uncle Tom, short for Thomas—when they were just children. There were also school keepsakes like pictures he’d drawn or painted in art class most likely.

My hands shook picking up a small shoebox with he and my mother’s names written on top. Nora and Phillip. I held my breath while sliding off the lid. There was a Polaroid snapshot of them in grandma’s living room standing by the window and newspaper clippings. The first clipping I grabbed was older and faded in color. It was their wedding announcement. They must have mailed it to her. The next was newer—it still had crispiness to it. Once I opened it and read the first few words, I let it drop from my fingers, back into the box. This was their death announcement.

I started to cry and quickly shoved the box back in the chest and slammed the whole thing shut. Dust particles flew out in every direction. I closed my eyes and held my breath for the few seconds it took me to back away. Why would she want to keep that? Why would she want such a terrible reminder?

-He reached up as if to touch my face but instead, he brushed a strand of my hair away from my cheek and tucked it behind my ear. My heart fluttered and my face heated up. The coolness of his fingertips tingled.

I don’t know what I was expecting to happen but when he stuffed his hand back in his pocket, it faded.

“Goodnight,” I told him, feeling a bit disappointed as I turned to open the door.

“Abby?”

“Yes,” I asked, eagerly batting my eyes a bit—as if that would help.

He was strangely hesitant as he looked into my eyes with a blank expression as if he was searching for the right words in his head. This was the first time we’d actually stared so deep and so long at each other. When he decided on what to say, his words came out slow and careful and so low I almost had to strain my neck to hear him.

“I want you to know that I really do like you—you have no idea how much—I’m sure that’s obvious, but I want to take this a little slower. I realize I probably should have thought about that before I took you to dinner but I didn’t know that it would be this hard for me.” He then looked down at the ground and sadness took over his face for the briefest moment. When he looked back up to me he managed a slight smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Maybe it would be best if we were just friends for a while, until we are both more comfortable with each other.”

My fluttering heart suddenly sank to my stomach. I felt sick. This is so not what I was expecting him to say. But he was right. We didn’t know each other well enough to let this escalate into something we both probably weren’t ready for and at least he was adult enough to say it. So I nodded slowly unable to respond verbally.

“Good night then. Sleep well.” He smiled and then walked back to his car. So that was it. No other explanation. It all seemed too good to be true the moment he asked me to dinner, now it seems that it was.

My hand reached out after him but it wouldn’t have done me any good, so I grabbed the doorknob instead.

Once I was inside I leaned against the door and took several deep breaths. I could hear the roaring car as it sped down the street and at that moment I had the sudden panic that we may never have another night like this again. I suppose I was just feeling the need to be with him again but his words hung in my head and I kept repeating them over and over. Maybe it would be best if we were just friends for a while. I hoped he didn’t think this night had been a mistake and he would be an idiot to think this night didn’t mean anything to either of us.

Limply, I stumbled my way upstairs and peaked in on my grandma to make sure she was okay and sleeping good before I entered my room. I was putting on my pajamas when I realized I was humming to myself. A strange but familiar feeling was tugging at my heart. It was happiness. Underneath all that disappointment I was happy. For so long I had lived without being happy. The fear and sadness I held in my heart when I came to Bangor, the same sadness that lingered in the back of my mind waiting to be triggered, was now being crowded out by this old but familiar feeling. It felt good and I welcomed it with open arms.

-Caleb unlocked my door but as I moved to sit down my shirt got caught on something that was sticking out from the door. Caleb was already opening his when I pulled it free. I grimaced at the tiny hole it left. That’s when I saw the reflection of a dark figure in the window. I turned to see that same man. He quickly put a knife to my throat and demanded my purse. I didn’t have time to breath.

In an instant, what I thought was my life flashing before my eyes, was actually the man, suddenly airborne, smashing into another vehicle several feet away. All I could see was a black blur from the man’s clothing. A crunching, screeching sound echoed through the air as the metal of the car twisted and bent to the form of the man’s body. Glass from the windows flew out in every direction, shattering to the ground. Some even landing at my feet. It all happened so swift and so rapid that my conscious mind couldn’t process it fast enough.

When my eyes finally focused, and my head had stopped spinning, I noticed Caleb, standing not five feet from me, hunched over in a crouched position, staring in the direction of the crumpled car and the man’s still body. A sound that I had never heard before seemed to be coming from deep inside his chest, gurgling in the bottom of his throat. It sounded like a growl. Not like any dog I’d ever heard, but more like a tiger or a lion. I was instantly frozen to the ground—my eyes wide, my mouth open. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breath. I was horrified. For Caleb had now turned his head to face me and his eyes were blazing mad. Blood shot and pupils dilated like when I thought he was high, only fierce and deadly.

I saw him take a step toward me and I gasped. Panic and fear flooded my body with a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. I glanced at the man lying against the mangled car and then back at Caleb. I stepped back and cringed against the side of his car. My breathing was so hard and fast my chest literally ached with pain. He seemed to notice the horror on my face and stopped moving. I watched as his body straightened, fists unclench, and his eyes soften. The fury that, only seconds ago covered his face, was now melted away. There stood the Caleb I knew and loved. The Caleb I would have run to any other time. But not now.

- “Abby,” he shook his head while rubbing his temples. “You are making this more difficult for me. How can I make you understand…..to believe that what I’m telling you is true?” Then he stopped. For a moment his body was frozen and then he looked up at me dropping his hands to his sides. His eyes were wide with exultant relief. “I have an idea.”

Slowly he began walking toward me despite my protests, face softened from the hard line of anger only seconds ago. His hands reached out in front of him, palms facing me. “Don’t be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you. I promise.” Soon he was standing inches away from me. My head was spinning again; I didn’t know what to do. He was so close I didn’t know whether to hug him or push him back. I could smell his cologne and it made me light-headed and I felt his cool breath blow in my face.

He began unbuttoning his shirt. I knew any minute I was going faint from lack of oxygen at the sight of his chest. For a moment I thought I was looking at the statue of David, except for obvious parts being covered of course. “Give me your hand,” he whispered, almost purring. Reluctantly, I placed my hand in his and slowly he laid it on his chest. He felt like stone, cold and hard, but his skin still oddly flexible. I could see the imprint of my fingers indenting his alabaster skin.

Through my hand I felt his chest moving up and down but then his breathing stopped, and there was nothing. For a long moment he never drew another breath. I stared at him in disbelief.

“Why? How?” Was all I could get out.

He placed his hands on either side of my face, “Listen,” he commanded and pulled my face down to rest my ear over his heart. Again, there was nothing. No thumping, no anything. Complete silence.

My panic and horror was back again and I felt mass hysteria coming very quickly. I jerked my head back, clearly hyperventilating.

“Abby?” Caleb’s voice was urgent now, grabbing my shoulders with his strong hands. I fell back against the door, sliding all the way to the floor, resting on my knees. Caleb followed me on my way down, never taking his eyes or hands off me.
“Vampires aren’t real,” I somehow managed to mutter. Then, there was blackness.

-Walking up the steps to the door, a short mild breeze passed by sending chills down my arms. But I stopped abruptly when I saw Caleb standing frozen facing the door. Every muscle in his body was locked and his jaw was clenched down hard. His fists balled up so tight that his Hemi Cuda key chain shattered into a million plastic pieces, scattering onto the brick.

My heart sank when I heard the rumbling growl coming from his chest. My body began to tremble. I wanted to go to him but I was frozen to the ground.

“What is it?” I whispered softly, afraid to speak any louder.

A violent hiss passed through his lips as he said a name that sent pure ice cold fear trickling through my veins.

“Damon.”

- Two tall and extremely dark wraith-like shadows emerged from the blackness not ten feet from me. They walked slowly in my direction and stopped a few feet away. My mouth fell open looking up at them, trying to find their hidden faces in the dark. But, it didn’t take long for comprehension to break through my delirium and knock me silly with the dreadful truth. These two weren’t just any midnight stalkers. They were vampires. And I knew exactly which ones they were. Duncan and Roark.

Without speaking a word, they watched as I cautiously rose to my feet. My knees were sure to buckle underneath me from fear. They never moved and for one ephemeral moment, I thought about running.

“Well, well, well,” a gruff deep and chilling voice laughed. “What do we have here?”

“It looks like someone lost their pet,” the other concurred with a snort.

They knew me. They recognized me from that night they’d chased Samantha and I all the way to Caleb’s. Caleb. Oh how I wished he were here, to save me from certain death. And yes, I knew I was going to die. Now that they had me cornered, I knew they were not going to let me get away for a second time. It was only a matter of minutes before they stopped toying with me and got down to business.

I watched as they began inching forward again, straight toward me. Instinctively, I took a step back and as they kept coming, I continued to back away one step at a time until there were no more steps to take. My back hit something cold and hard but as much as I had wished it were Caleb’s body, to my dismay, I was trapped against the brick wall. I silently scolded myself for still wondering about the name of the building again.

-“Why Selena?” Caleb hissed in her face. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t tear off your head this second and throw you in the fire.”

“Please,” she choked, trying to speak through crushing vocal cords. “I meant her no harm. Duncan and Roark……..”

“Liar! She told me you gave the orders. You wanted her dead. From the first moment you laid eyes on her you were so filled with jealousy and hatred, all you could think about what getting rid of her. And you knew that even if I had known what was happening, if even I did know where she was, I’d never set foot in that inferno because I was a coward. Well you were wrong and now you’re going to die.”

“No,” she cried. “I promise I won’t come near her again. Caleb please don’t kill me.”

“And how many times did Abby plead for her life before you sent the wolf pack on her?” His voice grew louder as he shouted directly in her face.

“I only did it for you.” Her voice was a pathetic whimper. “I wanted to free you from her. I’ve always cared about you. I love you.”

Caleb’s voice came out swift and harsh, “You don’t know what love is! I don’t want you. I don’t care anything about you—I never did. How could I care for someone so evil and vile as you?”

His other hand came around gripping the top of her head. I jumped forward at the exact moment she screamed, grabbed his arm, and pulled as hard as I could against his iron grasp.

“Caleb don’t!” I begged. His furious face turned on me but I ignored the fear I felt. “If you kill her then you’re no better than she is.” I looked at Selena’s terrified face and for an instant she looked oddly human. Then, I looked back at Caleb and a tiny bit of the fury in his eyes had melted away.

But unexpectedly, Damon’s hands came out of nowhere, pulling Selena out of Caleb’s arms and into his own. We both stared at him in disbelief, not understanding what he was doing. Was he really this content on saving her life? Did he really care more for her than he’d let on?

Then, he spoke in a clear, articulate tone, directly at Caleb. “Better your soul be saved—if it’s truly there—than mine.”

Sacrifice is the second book in my Redemption trilogy. Sacrifice follows Abby as she travels back home to close that chapter of her life for good. While there she meets up with unexpected obstacles that she tries to deal with without Caleb's help.

The following is a glance inside her experience.

**“You’re in a better mood,” I whispered against his lips.

“I’m alone with you, in a hotel room and you just got out of the shower. What more could I want?”

He looked up into my eyes and brushed my wet hair off my shoulder and away from my neck. His fingertips left tingling trails of electricity on my skin. Then his lips were on my jaw, moving slowly down to linger at the bottom of my throat. I heard him inhale deeply and press his lips to my collarbone.

“No offense but you smell incredibly succulent.” He breathed against my heated skin.

“I take that as a compliment, you know.” My voice trembled with anticipation.

He laughed light cool breath on my neck. “Your body should be careful when tempting one such as myself. You never know what might happen.” I shivered when a tooth grazed my skin.

“That isn’t funny,” I scolded him, but it was without anger.

“Sorry,” he apologized, pulling back to look at my face. “I was only teasing.”

I reached up and traced the outline of his lips with my fingers. “That wasn’t nice.”

“Whoever said I played nice?” His nose tipped mine and then his lips—smooth as satin—brushed over mine again. “Listen at that little heart fly,” he teased.

Our hands traced each others faces, my eyes taking in every perfect feature—his hard square jaw, high cheek bones, full lips and perfectly shaped eyebrows. A model of perfection, a perk of being a vampire.

“Thank you for today,” he whispered when I dropped my hands to his shoulders.
My brow creased in the middle. “I thought you…..”

“No,” he cut me off, “I appreciate that you wanted to make me happy. After giving it some thought, I am rather satisfied that I got to see the place one last time.” His head tilted down with a look of shame on his face. “And, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings when I got angry.”

“You didn’t hurt my feelings,” I assured him.

He looked up at me from under his dark lashes, “Promise?” He asked so innocently.

“Of course, silly.” Placing my hands on either side of his head, I pulled his face back up to mine. “No need to apologize.”

“Why are you so good to me?”

“Because you deserve it, but most of all because I love you.”
He shook his head. “You deserve better than me.”

“No,” I protested, letting my hands slide down off his face. “I deserve exactly you.”

He sighed contently in defeat. “I can’t imagine my life without you now. I love you so much that I can’t breath when I hear your voice. When you touch me my silent heart aches for more. I don’t know how I was surviving before you came along.”

**“I’m worried about you, Abby,” he whispered.

“Well, don’t be. You’d just be wasting your time.”

“See what I mean?” He pointed at my face. “You can’t even get angry with me. Your face shows no emotion, whatsoever. I hear you saying these words but there’s nothing to back them up.”

I didn’t understand what he was saying. I was angry. I felt it; I knew that I was angry. If he couldn’t see that then maybe there was something wrong with him.

“I don’t see your point,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. “I want you to feel something. I want you to yell at me and tell me to mind my own business.” His eyes went sad and he extended his hand out to me. “And, I want to feel you touch me. I want you to take my hand in yours of you own accord.”

I kept my arms folded and stared at his hand with a scowl. “I do hold your hand.”

“Only when I’ve taken yours first and even then your hand is limp inside mine. It’s like you don’t want to be touched, even by me.”

I shook my head, sighed and looked down at the floor. “What do you want from me, Caleb?”

I looked back up at him; his eyes were hurt by what I said. However, I felt no remorse.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked “I think I’ve been doing a pretty darn good job of handling this. I mean, do you want me to go into that depression I was in the first time this happened? Is that the kind of emotion you want to see from me?”

“No, of course not. How can you even think that?”

“Well, quite frankly I don’t know what to think.”

I watched him reach down to pick up the suitcase I let fall to the floor. “Believe what you want,” he said, brushing past me into the hallway. “I love you and I only want to help you be happy but I don’t know how to do that.”

I stood there watching him walk down the hall with my luggage in hand.

After I deliberated for a moment about whether or not moving in with Caleb was a good idea, I shrugged off the little spat as nothing consequential and grabbed my cosmetic bag off the bed. I knew Caleb couldn’t stay mad at me for very long.


** Pulling out my cell phone from my pocket I quickly dialed Sean’s number. After the third ring he finally picked up.

“Hello?” His voice sounded a little groggy.

“Sean, it’s Abby. Someone broke in my house.”

“What? When?”

“I don’t know,” I said, a bit annoyed by the stupid question. “Sometime while I was out with you guys tonight.”

I heard him clear his throat and sound a little more aware than a second ago. “Are you alone?”

“Yes. No one was here when I came home.”

“Stay where you are and don’t do anything until I get there. I’m calling it in so you may hear a bunch of sirens in a few minutes. Don’t be alarmed.”

Great, sirens, that’s all I need for the neighbors to get an eye full. I’ll be the talk of the neighborhood again for two straight weeks after this.

“Okay, I’ll be waiting.”

Pacing back and forth nervously, I debated whether or not I should call Caleb and let him know what was going on. I promised I’d let him know everything that was happening to me but did that really include something like this? I mean, would it really be worth having him worry about me that much more?

There was no question. No, it wouldn’t. I was not going to upset him more than what he already was by my absence. What he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

Sean was right. It was literally minutes before the police cars started showing up, lights flashing and sirens blaring like some wild concert. I opened the door to let them all inside while at the same time glancing around at the other houses for neighbors peering out there windows. It was no surprise to see lights coming on all down the street.

Immediately, the officers began looking at the damage and taking pictures of the evidence. I felt like I was a part of a CSI crime scene. One big burly looking cop began asking me questions and by the time he was finished I felt like I answered a hundred before Sean entered the house. Some I had to answer twice.

I was so relieved to have him save me from the chaos. I was already nervous by the break in and all these officers in my house were making it worse.
He quickly walked over and wrapped his arm around my shoulder and asked if I was all right.

I nodded. “Yes, I’m fine, just shocked that someone actually broke in. I’ve never had that happen before.”

“It’s a good thing you weren’t home. You did the right thing by calling me first so I’d know for sure that you were okay.”

I smiled and then creased my forehead looking at the broken window and the mess on the sofa. “I don’t understand why they did it, whoever it was.”

He tilted his head in confusion. “What do you mean? Didn’t they take anything?”

“No, that’s just it, nothing is missing. Everything of value is still here. The only things that seem to have been touched were the sofa cushions and my suitcases.”

Sean looked as confused as I felt. “Why would someone go through your clothes? Unless they were some kind of sick pervert but even with that it doesn’t explain why they didn’t take one item.”

“Thanks Sean, now I’ve got the mental picture of some old geezer sniffing my underwear.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned at me. “I’m serious, Abby. None of it makes any sense.”

“You don’t have to tell me that, Sean. I’m just as baffled as you are.”

I watched him for a few minutes looking the room over obviously going over scenarios in his head, tapping his chin every now and then. The other officers had finished their jobs, said a few words to Sean and me, then left.

“You can’t stay here tonight,” he said, still looking around.

“What?” My mouth fell to the floor. “Where am I going to go? I can’t afford a hotel room.”

He looked down at me as if I should have already guessed what he was about to suggest. “Why not stay with Chloe and Heather for the night? I can take you over and then Chloe can bring you back in the morning.”

I slowly shook my head and watched his brow rise slightly at my protest. “No, I don’t want to inconvenience them. Heather is already having to deal with a sprained ankle and I’m sure they’re both asleep by now. I don’t want them to have to get up and make me a bed for the night.”

“That’s the most ridiculous……Abby you know they wouldn’t mind.”

“Maybe not but I would. I’ll be fine Sean. Whoever it was that broke in is most likely long gone by now especially if they heard the sirens. It was probably just one of my nosey neighbors anyway.”

He growled and rubbed his forehead reminding me of Caleb when he got aggravated with me. “I cannot consciously allow you to stay here alone after a break in, Abby, you know this, look at that window it’s wide open.”

“Sean, I…..”

“Abby, please don’t argue with me. You heard the news this evening. A lot of people are being murdered and I don’t want to take the chance on the next person being you.”

I sighed and took him by the hand looking up into his eyes. “Nothing will happen to me Sean, I promise.”

“It’s impossible to know that. You can’t make those kinds of promises and…….if you won’t go somewhere else tonight then I’m just going to have to stay here with you.”

** I felt defeated and helpless; it was no use. Guilt and pain washed over me like a tsunami and my heart ached like someone was squeezing the life out of it. Heather was probably right now being drained of her life and it was my fault. It made no sense to continue searching for her. I had no idea where to look. For all I knew he could have her in the next city by now.

Feeling the impact of my many emotions crushing my heart, I sank to the bottom step and cried relentlessly with my head in my hands. I’d felt guilt before but this guilt was much worse. My own carelessness had inadvertently caused the death of my long time friend.

Nothing could be worse than this, not even my own death. The way I felt, I’d probably welcomed it. Or had I spoken too soon?

A voice coming from the darkness quieted my sobs, clouded my thoughts and sent me jumping to my feet. My stomach knotted and sank to my knees and for a second I thought my heart had stopped from the shock.

“Abby Sullivan?” The sultry male voice asked.

It was unfamiliar but I had an odd feeling that I should know this person. The intention behind his tone was undecipherable but gave me goose bumps all the same.

Squinting, I peered hard into the darkness, stumbling backwards until I felt the coolness of another brick wall against my right shoulder.

“Who’s there?” I asked, my voice shaking from fear. I felt my fingers trembling against the brink and my body shivered.

“You mean you don’t recognize your old boyfriend?” Slowly, Drew stepped out of the shadows at the end of the wall into the dimness of the light. “And we meant so much to each other.” He grinned wickedly, perfect teeth glistening in the light.

Every muscle and fiber in my body went cold and limp all at once. “Drew,” I gasped in a weak, almost inaudible voice.

“Oh, so now you remember,” he said sarcastically. “I thought I was going to have to….” he cleared his throat, looking at my bare legs longingly. “Refresh your memory.”

Little by little he stepped closer. With every step he took, I cringed closer to the brick wall. The entire situation felt like a big bad case of déjà vu. With everything in me I prayed for an intervention.

“Don’t you have anything to say to me?” he asked, stopping just a few feet away. “Haven’t you missed me at all?”

“I know what you are,” I squeaked out.

“Really? What am I?”

His taunting stance made me feel small but I forced myself to straighten my posture and face him. “Why can’t you be a good vampire? You don’t have to kill people.”

Throwing his head back he laughed loudly, mocking my plea. Crossing his arms over his chest he leaned his left shoulder against the wall and stared at me. “I have to admit, I am surprised at how educated you are. Myself, I never knew anything like this existed. A way of life where I could be my own person while at the same time ruling over others, well, you people to be exact.”

“You used to be one of us you know,” I informed him, scowling into the dark; the bitter taste of fear in the back of my throat.

“Yes but now I can be in charge of my life forever, never having to answer to any one, doing whatever I want. That’s all I’ve ever wanted out of life and now I have it.”

“Hence the reason we broke up.”

“I know, I know. I shouldn’t have done what I did I’ll admit but I’d do it again for the chance to be what I am now. You wouldn’t believe the power, the vibrancy I feel.” He flexed his muscles.

“You might be surprised,” I said, crossing my arms to match him.
At this point I was beginning to feel like he didn’t want to hurt me, which helped my body to relax a little. Maybe there was a part of him who still cared for me and maybe, just maybe, I could use this opportunity to talk some sense into him.

“Drew, don’t you understand that you can have all those things and still have no need to kill people. There are other ways……”

“Abby, Abby,” he shook his head, pushing away from the wall. I took a step back out of reflex. “You are still a very beautiful girl, there’s no question, but I have to say you are so obtuse. Do you really think that’s all we’re doing? Rampantly killing people? Though of course, some do have to die in the process.”

“In the process of what? I-I don’t understand.”

Glaring wide-eyed, I watched as another one of his wicked grins crossed his face and then in the flash of a second his eyes went dark and bloodshot, then flickered red. I sucked in a large amount of air and took more steps backwards. He followed.

“If we’re going to rule this world one day we’re going to need a bigger army.” He licked his lips, sliding his tongue along the two sharp points of his teeth. “And, I think I’ve just found our newest recruit, or my dinner, which ever comes first.”

I don’t know what made me think he’d let me by with it but acting on instinct and adrenaline I turned and ran down the end of the alley.

Before my brain had time to realize what had happened, I slammed into the hard stone of his body with a whoosh of air escaping my lungs and fell to the ground, landing on my butt. Momentarily dazed, I felt a strong hand wrap around my throat and pull me up off the ground, feet dangling in the air.

The strength of his grip was cutting off my oxygen and my eyes were slowly getting blurry.

“You can’t run away,” he growled. “You’re fate tonight is unavoidable.”

“Like Heather’s,” I squeaked through closing windpipes.

“Heather will make a perfect addition to our little club,” he chuckled darkly. “And, so will you….by my side.”

With a hiss and flash of his teeth he tilted my head to the side. My body trembled and quivered with fear and lack of oxygen. I wanted desperately to scream out loud but there was no air left in my lungs. Gradually, I could feel each breath I took get smaller and smaller.

Suddenly, I heard another voice speak from behind us.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” the spine chilling sinister voice threatened.


**“Caleb is a lucky man,” he continued ignoring my flushed face. “I envy him you know—how happy he is. How happy he is with you.” With every word he spoke I could feel his stare penetrating the skin on my face like flamethrowers but I wouldn’t dare look at him. Embarrassed, I kept my eyes fixed on the pattern. “But I don’t just envy his happiness. I envy the very thought of being in love and knowing I had someone who loved me in return.

“I’ve seen how he looks at you and how you look at him. Just the mention of his name lights up your eyes. Never in the long century that I’ve been what I am did I ever believe our kind could feel anything else except the God forsaken bloodlust and the hatred for humans.” His voice had elevated into almost a shout at the end.

“Secretly,” he mumbled in a quieter tone, “I’ve always wanted to know what it would feel like to lust, to hunger for something different. But I’ve never been able to imagine ever experiencing that kind of desire.”

All the different emotions coming out of his mouth were making me more and more uncomfortable by the minute. My fingers fidgeted nervously as I tried to distract myself but the best thing for me to do would be to somehow redirect his thoughts away from me. Gulping hard I lifted my eyes slowly and reluctantly to meet his—they were raging with an all too familiar passion.

“But you were with Selena,” I pointed out, voice shaking, trying to think of the only other person I’d even known him to be with. “Didn’t you two…..?”

“Yes,” he answered quickly, sounding a little irritated by the mention of her name. “But that wasn’t love or lust or any kind of desire at all, not even close. She was merely my….servant to use as I pleased however I wanted and she was more than willing to give it up if she thought it would gain her any kind of power or authority.”

I thought at first my plan at redirection had worked when he had gone silent but before my brain could register his movement, he was suddenly sitting next to me on the bed inches from my face. My heart pounded hard against my chest and I knew he could hear every staggered beat. I sucked in a gasp of air and held my breath watching his warm cocoa eyes stare deep into mine.

From the corner of my eye I saw his hand reaching up toward my face—my pulse began to race and my palms felt sweaty. To my relief he stopped just an inch from my cheek. Letting out the air in my lungs I could finally breath normally.

He smiled and chuckled once under his breath at my expression. It was on my face but I couldn’t even tell what it must look like. As he breathed, his cool breath blew in my face filling my nostrils. Then his eyes went soft and thoughtful again. I looked away and focused on his mouth moving as he spoke.

“Often I’ve wondered what it would feel like to be Caleb,” he whispered softly. “To feel the warmth of your skin under my cold hand or your hot breath on my lips. These last few days have been torment on my curiosity.”

I opened my mouth to tell him to stop talking about such things when I met his eyes head on and they were so innocent in their truthfulness, revealing his want and need for companionship. And even though I was getting angry with him for complicating our situation, my heart ached for his sadness and his pain.

“I wonder…” He whispered again stopping to search my eyes.


**“There’s a bit of a problem,” Caleb told Damon.

Damon’s voice was cagey. “What kind of
problem?”

“There are some kids already waiting to get in for the concert. They look as if they’ve been camping out all night and day in the parking lot.”

“Well, just tell them to leave,” Damon said as if Caleb should have already knew to do that.

“I didn’t want to scare them and raise suspicions. Angry groupies are not what we need right now to ruin the entire plan.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Sean spoke up stepping away from us girls. “I’m still in my uniform, they’ll listen to me. I’ll simply tell them there is no loitering.”

“Okay,” Caleb agreed, “But make it quick.”

“Do you need another ride?” Damon asked Sean jokingly.

With a narrowed glare Sean answered, “No thank you, I think I’ll walk.”

I couldn’t help but laugh along with Damon and Caleb but Chloe didn’t seem to be in the mood. I stopped smiling the moment I caught her eye.

From the corner of my eye I saw Caleb and Damon walking in our direction. Caleb slid is arm around my waist and kissed the top of my head. I leaned into him and folded my arms to match Chloe. We stared at each other for the longest second and then I couldn’t take the awkward silence any longer.

“Well, we’re here, what now?” I asked, waiting for either Caleb or Damon to speak.

“When Sean returns Damon and I will set the C4,” Caleb answered, mumbling against my hair. “It shouldn’t take much to do the job especially with the diesel fuel.”

I sighed and stared down at the ground nudging around a pebble with my foot. “Why can’t there be another way?”

“I wish there could be sweetheart.”

We were all silent while waiting for Sean to show up, each of us trying not to lock eyes with someone else. Overhead the sun was setting while casting an array of colors across the puffy white clouds that had been gray earlier.

It had been days since I really looked at the sky. Used to, I would stare at the sky to simply take in its beauty or watch the stars twinkling outside my bedroom window. I haven’t appreciated the stars in a long while. I haven’t appreciated much of anything lately—there’s been no time.

Everyday comes a new worry or new obstacle. I feel like I never get time to breathe anymore let alone stare at the sky. Grandma would tell me I put too much responsibility on myself. But the sad part is everything that’s been happening is my responsibility and my fault. I have to see this through, there’s no other alternative. What other choice did I have?

After several long minutes of agonizing—not to mention awkward—silence, Sean finally decided to grace us with his presence.

“They’re gone,” he said breathlessly. He held his chest as he tried to slow his breathing. “It took a bit of persuading and threatening them with jail time but I finally sent them packing.”

“Good,” Damon said, pushing his body away from the dumpster where he was leaning. “Come on Caleb let’s get this over with.”

With one last kiss to my forehead, Caleb was gone again. Deep down I couldn’t wait for all this chaos to be over with so that I could go home with Caleb and think about nothing but his arms around me and his kisses. Before, I took for granted the touch and feel of Caleb’s kisses, his fingers touching my skin but after this I’m going to savor each one.

Now, there was nothing to do but wait.


**“How long will they be inside before the bomb goes off?” I asked out loud still staring at the arena.

“Only a few minutes,” Caleb answered, his cool breath saturating my hair. “The timer is set for ten minutes after it’s been triggered giving them enough time to get in position.”

“Well, no actually it won’t.” Damon interrupted. We all stared at him bewildered. I for one was getting tired of all the extra surprises tonight.

“Why not?” Caleb asked confused like the rest of us.

Damon lowered his head for a second appearing to take a deep breath. When he looked up his face had gone hard almost expressionless. His eyes were flat, blank and the smooth cocoa color had deepened. For that moment he looked like the old Damon I’d met last fall and I was suddenly worried.

“Because I disabled the timer when you weren’t looking,” Damon confessed, his voice low and toneless.

Caleb’s body stiffened at my side. His jaw tightened and his eyes were furious. I held his arm as tight as I could in fear he’d do something irrational.

“Why on earth would you do that?” Caleb growled.

I stared at Damon in disbelief. I thought I knew him better than this. What was he thinking? Or better yet, what was he planning?

“Because I’m going to blow it myself,” Damon admitted, still without any sign of emotion.

“What?” Caleb and I said together—his arm reaching out to pull me closer.
“Are you crazy?” Caleb asked.

Damon didn’t answer. For a long moment they stared at each other neither of them speaking or moving. Except for their eyes. I watched closely as their eyes twitched every now and then as if some exchange was being made. Caleb didn’t have a psychic bone in his body but they knew each other well enough to know what the other was thinking; after all they called themselves brothers for years before things went sour between them.

This entire situation had gotten completely ridiculous. Just when I was on my very last nerve, Caleb nodded his head once in agreement with whatever he’d saw in Damon’s eyes.

“It doesn’t have to be this way you know,” Caleb told him.

“I want it to be,” Damon said coldly. Caleb nodded again.

All I could do was stand there befuddled. They’re cryptic language was confusing me but it wasn’t until Damon turned away without another word or even an attempt at a glance at me did I come to understand what was going on.

Fear and anger—fiery anger—rose up in my chest. I shook myself loose from Caleb’s grasp and stomped after Damon. “Damon wait,” I choked out above the nausea in my stomach. He ignored me. “I said wait!” I felt Caleb try to hold me back but again I shook him off.

This time Damon turned to look at me so abruptly I rocked back on my heels nearly falling down. His face was still hard like a statue but his eyes had softened. I knew he couldn’t look me in the face and keep up the charade of being the tough emotionless guy.

Slowly, I sauntered up to him staring straight into his eyes. He watched me carefully until I was right under his nose.

“I know what your thinking and you can’t do it.” My hands were balled into fists on my hips. “You’re not destroying yourself, not after everything…….”

“There’s nothing for me in this world anymore, Abby,” he whispered.

“Not even your friends?”

“I’ve tried to live differently and yes it’s been easier this past week or so with you but when you’re gone I’ll be struggling all over again—it’s too difficult. Have you forgotten what happened in that alley? I’m miserable, Abby. I want it to be over. Can’t you understand that?”

My fists unclenched and melted limply at my sides, while my mouth hung open. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “No I can’t,” I muttered in disbelief. I heard him sigh and then begin to speak but I cut him off. “You can stay with us—Caleb and me. You can come back to Bangor with us, it’ll get easier I promise.”

“Abby….” he began, shaking his head.

“I won’t lose another friend to this, Damon, I won’t!”

“Friend?” He shook his head again when I nodded. “That is exactly why I can’t stay with you here or anywhere else.”

“But…..” I began to whine still not ready to give up.

Damon touched one finger to my lips to quiet me—my cheeks grew hotter.
Damon’s face finally softened the rest of the way and his eyes seemed to melt like liquid chocolate as they stared intensely into mine.

Then he whispered, “Do you remember that story you told me about Esther and the Jews?”

“Yes,” I gulped trying to swallow down the lump in my throat. His hand lifted again just a few inches in an attempt to touch my face but fell back down as he remembered where we were and who was behind us.

“Think of me that way,” he continued. A slight shimmer glinted across his eyes—tears. “In a sense, I’m giving my life for those……I care about. A sacrifice you might say.”

Ok, I have to take this moment to vent a little steam. When it comes to reviews, I like to think I have thick enough skin not to get offended and take the negative along with the positive. However, there is one thing that I’ve noticed, not only in my reviews but also in other YA novel reviews, that has annoyed me to no end. And now I feel I must address it.

I’m going out on a limb here considering I don’t actually know the minds of reviewers not to mention the rest of the world, but it seems to me that ever since the craze over the YA novel turned movie saga, Twilight, started and ended, there has been this aversion to anything YA that has even a remote sense of romance involved. What I have derived from different reviews, including one of my own, is that teenage romance is now considered “cliche”. Whether it be in a novel or a movie. I’ve read book reviews where readers are actually comparing a totally non-related book to Twilight and comparing characters, even using Twilight character names.

Before Twilight was ever concieved, falling in love as a teenager was an every day reality and to my knowledge it still is, which I would assume most parents of teenagers understand and have probably already gone through the experience with them.

I fell in love at the age of 17 and married him just before I turned 22. I will soon be 31 and we’re still together. High school sweethearts are created from two teenagers falling in love during this confusing time in their lives. I realize some think they’re in love but soon find that wasn’t the case. However, I still despise when someone says teenagers don’t know what love is. Um, yes they do. It may not be the serious I’m-gonna-marry-you kind of love but it’s still real. So real that breaking up is a serious heartbreaking, sometimes devasting, experience. Take a moment to think about feelings you had for someone in high school or even before that. How serious were your feelings?

The way I see it (I could be wrong), because of Twilight and little girls losing their minds over ficticious characters, teenage romance as become laughable and unrealistic. Even though it happens everyday. Maybe not with supernatural creatures but it does happen. Teenagers are huge dreamers because that’s all they have. It may seem immature to adults who have already experienced the real world already but to them their dreams are what they have to look forward to. Tell me one girl who doesn’t dream of finding Prince Charming. Not everyone’s ideal man or woman is the same. So what if a teenage girl dreams of finding a vampire guy or a wolf boy. What business is it of ours? I’m sure every girl in the world realizes these supernatural boys aren’t real. And not every girl is sitting around daydreaming about Edward or Jacob. But what if she were? Don’t poke fun or act like she’s a daydreaming idiot.

In conclusion, here’s what I think…… Get OVER IT!!! Twilight is OVER. Please stop comparing every teenage romance in every YA novel or movie to flippin’ Twilight! (If you’re not doing this then I would like to say a BIG thank you). Twilight is it’s own story with it’s own characters who DO NOT cross over to other books! Not every teenage romance should be compared to how you feel about Twilight. Not every male character, whether he be supernatural or not, is Edward or Jacob! Not every love struck girl is Bella! Please stop reading all other YA novels with these characters in mind! And please, for the sake of authors like me who enjoy writing YA and supernatural Romance, accept our characters as themeselves and do not judge the book badly from the beginning because it’s about teenage love especially those involving the supernatural. There are more to books than who is falling in love with who and how you can predict which guy the girl will be with. Some stories actually have really great plots that get drowned out but the inner love story.

Open your mind and experience the book for what it is. If you let your feelings and frustrations with other books control your feelings for new books then you’re never going to enjoy any other story and will miss out on the adventure.

http://kelliethacker.wordpress.com/20...

It's here!! Synopsis and cover reveal for Grace!!

-Is it possible to love someone so completely, so intensely that they could never die? To give them more than just your love, your heart, or your soul? What if you could give them the miracle of immortality?

With the loss of her parents, her grandmother, and two of her closest friends, it is safe to say that Abby has had her fair share of heartache. But, in all her misfortune, there was nothing so terrible—so frightening—as what she was about to face.

An unknown force has begun attacking her from the inside, giving her no other option but to place her life in the hands of her faith. Instead of confiding in Caleb as she normally would, Abby keeps the truth hidden from the man she is about to marry in an attempt to prove to herself that God will ultimately save her. However, with the passing of time her fate becomes gravely evident and soon she gives up on everything.

Meanwhile, another threat to Abby’s life looms in the shadows. After a small group of vampires shows up on her doorstep searching for one of their own, a past she thought was gone forever brings news of a mutual enemy plotting revenge upon those who destroyed the army they were creating in Louisville. Their target is Abby.

Secrets, lies, revenge and revelations bring Abby’s story to an end that she never saw coming.-

 

Grace by Kellie Thacker is coming soon to Amazon.com. Grace is part of a YA vampire romance trilogy about faith, love, and destiny. Follow Kellie on Facebook at www.facebook.com/InspiredKTBooks .