25 RANDOM THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T KNOW ABOUT ME...
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness? A WARM SEMEN NIGHTCAP
2. What is your greatest fear? MISMATCHING MY BRA AND PANTIES
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? PRIAPISM
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others? INCONTINENCE
5. Which living person do you most admire? TITSY RODRIGUEZ
6. What is your greatest extravagance? CHOCOLATE-COVERED METH
7. What is your current state of mind? PERIODS OF LUCIDITY
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? BAKING COOKIES FROM SCRATCH
9. On what occasion do you lie? MONDAYS
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance? MY REFLECTION
11. Which living person do you most despise? SANTA
12. What is the quality you most like in a man? CELIBACY
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman? VISCOSITY
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse? WHEN A MOMMY AND DADDY REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER…
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life? SPAGHETTIOS
16. When and where were you happiest? WATCHING MARY POPPINS GETTING GANGBANGED IN THE SEQUEL
17. Which talent would you most like to have? TOURETTES
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? BREATHING FIRE
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement? SANDY SCHREIBER - OCTOBER 14TH,1986
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? A HIRSCHMAN PROCTOSCOPE
21. Where would you most like to live? HALFWAY HOUSE FOR UNWED TEENS
22. What is your most treasured possession? MY BITEPLATE FOR ELECTROSHOCKS
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? KISSING HER MUSTACHE
24. What is your favorite occupation? LANGUISHING
25. What is your most marked characteristic? MY DORSAL FIN
26. What do you most value in your friends? WRITING A CHECK- NO QUESTIONS ASKED
27. Who are your favorite writers? YOU HAVE TO ASK????
28. Who is your hero of fiction? DUDLEY DORIGHT’S HORSE
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with? GODZILLA AND CHURCHILL
30. Who are your heroes in real life? THE VAJAZZLED…
31. What are your favorite names? INGA, ULLA, SHLOMO
32. What is it that you most dislike? HAVING MY EARS TOUCHED DURING A HAIRCUT
33. What is your greatest regret? NOT GREASING UP WITH CHICKEN FAT BEFORE SWIMMING THE ENGLISH CHANNEL
34. How would you like to die? IN FLAGRANTE DELICTO
35. What is your motto? EVERYTHING IS A JOKE
