Don't Be Afraid to Feel Resentful Part 2

In my last bog, I introduced you to Susan and the resentment she was feeling about her lack of career opportunities and management support. As Susan shifted her perspective about the source of her resentment using Adaptive Inquiry (AI) and the question “What grievance am I at a loss to air?” she realized the potential benefits of further exploring her beliefs, practices, priorities, and place.

Exploring her beliefs, Susan asked herself:

What gives me grounds for complaint? Was my boss’s lack of support unjust, unfair, negligent, or hurtful?


Would my boss agree that I have grounds for complaint?


Might my boss be feeling resentful towards me? If so, what might be the grievance?

By writing her answers in her journal, Susan discovered that she did feel she had grounds for complaint and that her boss might agree. She decided to discuss this with him in a way that helped him see things from her point of view and be open to mutually satisfying ways to address her career ambitions.

Then Susan considered her practices by asking herself:

What policies and procedures are already in place for airing grievances at work?


What attempts have I made to air to do this? What might I want to try next?

Susan realized that she had a performance discussion with her boss coming up on her calendar and this would be a perfect venue for airing her concerns. She also felt that, in assuming he would proactively suppor her career growth, she hadn’t been very assertive. She decided to express her needs more boldly and completely in this meeting.

In the next and last blog about resentment, I will focus on questions that consider options with priorities and place. These areas contribute to strategic thinking about how best to air grievances. Stay tuned…

-Andrea Zintz, Career Coach