How to Defeat Perfectionism

Trying to do your best is a good thing. But if you put too much pressure on yourself, perfectionism can take over. It comes from a place of self-criticism and causes us to berate ourselves for any imperfection and feel as if nothing we do is good enough. It can also make it more difficult for us to relax and enjoy our experiences. Here are some suggestions for avoiding perfectionism.

Recognize it. If you notice you’re being overly critical of yourself for a minor “mistake” or “flaw,” mentally remind yourself that it’s just perfectionism talking, not reality. This will allow you to separate yourself from your thoughts and move on.

Change your expectations. Demanding perfection is unrealistic – you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment. Understand that there’s nothing wrong with being imperfect – we all are! You should expect your best from yourself, but don’t imagine you’ll be flawless. Approaching a project or situation with more realistic expectations will make it easier to handle any unforeseen setbacks.

Be compassionate. Would you be so hard on your best friend for simply failing to be perfect? Of course not! You deserve the same treatment. Imagine what you would say to a loved on who made a mistake or demonstrated a fear or vulnerability and tell yourself the same thing.

Practice imperfection. No, it’s not a good idea to intentionally make a mistake on a project at work. But if you’re a perfectionist in other areas of your life, try breaking your own rules. If you only allow yourself sweets on the weekends, pick a weekday and indulge in a cupcake. This will show you that the consequences of imperfection are not nearly as dire as you fear.

-Sarah Cooke