How to Be Kind to Yourself

Self-criticism depletes our energy, which could be put to productive use. The more we disengage from our critical mind, the more confidence we have to do the things that are important to us. Let's take a look at how the critical mind works. Our mind is bombarded by thoughts - some are pleasant, while others are not. Many are old, critical message we've integrated from parental influences, religious dogma and cultural superstitions. The key is to accept them without judgment - not to place too much attention on them - and to let them come and go.

I'm well acquainted with the harsh inner critic that lives in my head and tells me that nothing I do is good enough, that I'm not good enough. When this critic surfaces, it drains my energy and I suddenly start to doubt myself. It can tell me that what I'm writing isn't poignant, what I'm saying doesn't matter to anyone, what I'm wearing isn't flattering, how I acted yesterday could have been better - and so on.

When I become aware that I'm giving attention to such thoughts, I deliberately stop what I'm doing, pause and tell myself, These lies have no power over me. I say this without gritting my teeth, but with an inner smile, by bringing a sense of humor to this inner gossip. I find that humor is a potent antidote when we are too harsh on ourselves. Treat yourself kindly - you deserve praise.

Excerpt from In Her Power: Reclaiming Your Authentic Self