Virtuous Language

I was impressed and inspired by Jo’s recent blog, Living with right speech http://octopusdance.wordpress.com/2013/08/18/living-with-right-speech/. One of the things that irritates me intensely, is the careless way in which we devalue language. We throw about big words, for trivial reasons, so that when something big comes along, there’s nothing left to wield. If lunch was awful, the traffic a nightmare, the boss evil, what can we say about a child murderer? If we love our car, find drinks bottles sexy, if shiny plastic items are magical and mass produced shoes are beautiful, what words can you offer to the love of your life?

Advertising is in part to blame. In the process of bigging up an item to make people want it, we overstate, over value, and over enthuse. Some of it is pure laziness. We don’t pay attention to the words we speak and write, and so we use them carelessly. I’ve even see professionals do it in situations where that lack of attention to detail has had serious repercussions. Far too often I’ve found that objecting to a precise turn of phrase results in a ‘I never meant that,’ or ‘I didn’t say that’. People confuse what they mean with what they say, and it is easy to forget that we hear and understand in different ways. Words are not perfect tools, but loaded with cultural and historical baggage, which we do not all hold in common.

It does take effort to think about the accuracy of everything you say, and write. It takes constant self-monitoring and awareness, plus on-going consideration for how those words may sound to someone else. Good intentions cannot be relied on to produce good results, even, but there’s a lot to be said for trying.

So, here’s my appeal.

Where possible, speak plainly. Don’t imply and expect people to understand what you mean. Don’t avoid saying it outright to give yourself plausible deniability later. Don’t try to make one thing sound like another.

Use words there’s a fighting chance the other person can understand. The gratuitous use of jargon, archaic, legal and other such language can be a means to intimidate, humiliate and confuse, so let’s not do that thing, and let’s also not accept it. Asking people to clarify and explain is a valid response to this, and the irritation factor of having to do it all twice, if you do not agree to be humiliated, is quite a disincentive for the other person.

Try and find the words that actually convey what you mean. It’s a tricky art, mistakes are inevitable, but the more we try the closer we come to good communication. The biggest areas of difficulty are usually around emotion, and trying to make the stiff upper lip of the English language convey something meaningful about feelings, is not easy. But don’t say ‘love’ when you mean ‘quite like’ and don’t say ‘hate’ when you mean ‘this is mildly irritating.’

Part of what makes good language use possible, is a sense of perspective. Knowing the difference between being bullied, and having been insulted once. Being able to recognise where language is loaded with issues of race, gender, class… There’s the issue of being able to hear something moderate. ‘Yes, I liked your book’ is fine – it is not necessary that we all articulate being madly in love with everything. If we do, it becomes meaningless.

In Druidry we might want to consider how carelessly we often use the word ‘bard’ – I’ve seen some sad misuses of that word from people online who clearly didn’t know what it meant. Is a person who leads a ritual an Archdruid? Do we all need shiny titles? Is it fair to call three people an Order? In the Druid community, ‘ancient’ gets used far too often in ways it probably shouldn’t. None of the ancient orders are the least bit ancient.

Careless language makes for sloppy thinking, and that can just take us in the direction of being inept. It can also, as with advertising, be a tool deliberately used to make us believe that which is false. The ultimate Archdruid only uses Fantastic Superwash Powder to get his magical robes whiter than white.

We forget that there’s not much distance between spelling, and spells.