Move Toward the Point of Discomfort

I have honestly had the pleasure of growing up with wonderful women in my life. They are a source of strength and I look up to them for their courage and bravery. One of these women is my sister Ife Mora! She is also a musician.

Her story is my story in so many ways. This is a wonderful blog she wanted to offer to Model Behavior on finding courage, belief and strength within that allowed her to be free without and truly express her creativity. Through this process she has found growth as an artist. 

For Ife’s wonderful, kick ass albums you can check out her web site: http://ifesanchezmora.com

- Naima                                                                                              

Move Toward the Point of Discomfort

If there is one thing I have learned about improvement of self is that I must always move into the direction of discomfort with my work, my craft and myself. When it is uncomfortable it usually means growth is taking place. It is then my responsibility to accept the growth in my life and stop resisting it so I can become a better ‘me’ and a better artist.

Ife Mora

I am not referring to adding enormous amounts of stress and extra tasks to your plate in pursuit of your career. No, what I am referring to is releasing the fear attached to a desire to do something new that seems unconquerable. I will give you an example. I am a solo artist now but in the past I could not compose my own songs by myself or play shows alone.

I would have to rely on a partner to write with because I didn’t play a musical instrument well enough to compose solo. My last band SwEEtie was formed with my friend Tecla Esposito and I. We found ourselves in an undesirable position when the guys in our band, drummer, guitarist and bassist, quit.

We now only had one instrumentalist in the band. Immediately we knew that Tecla would have to sing background vocals and play the bass on her keyboard with her left hand while simultaneously playing lead melodies on her right hand. This would give our band a fuller sound without having the other members. We found a female drummer and now it was my turn to step up to the plate. 

The Next Hurdle

Something I had been avoiding for a long time is learning to play guitar even though so many people suggested that I learn. I grew up playing violin and studied classical piano but had no idea of how to hold a guitar nonetheless strum chords and sing. I was extremely frightened to begin the daunting task of learning in my late 20′s a new musical instrument.

The anticipation of how much effort I needed to dedicate to this task, how much patience I would have to have and how long it would take for me to get good at playing guitar, scared me to the point of wanting to give up before I even tried. But the thought of sticking it to the guys who left our rock band and said we couldn’t do it without them, excited me.

The image of being on stage with an electric guitar rocking out with my all female band, sent thrills down my spine. It would also be a relief to not have to depend on someone to sit down and write songs with me. The thought of this was not only liberating it propelled me to get off my behind, find a teacher and forced me to believe in my talents and capabilities. I chanted my Buddhist prayers and mediated on finding the right teacher for me.

After asking around I found a good teacher who came highly recommended from my friend and fellow singer/ songwriter Taj Bell. My new guitar teacher told me in my first lesson that I would be singing a song and playing guitar by the end of class. And so I was. Two weeks later I was playing and singing Hotel California and other classic songs.

I practiced everyday and realized that practicing was easy because I really enjoyed playing the guitar. I enjoyed it so much I was sleeping with my acoustic guitar at night. I went everywhere with my guitar and had fun playing songs for people every chance I got.

When it was time to start playing gigs with my band I expressed to my teacher how frightened I was, he told me when you are on stage playing Rock & Roll, it’s all about attitude. I took his advice and gave as much attitude as I could possibly give at our first show as the new power trio all girl rock band.

I was only playing simple power chords but it worked!

People came up to me after the show and told me they thought I was good on the guitar. My teacher was there out of support, which I am eternally grateful for. No one could tell that I had just picked up the guitar for the first time a month before. Now I was leading a rock band singing and playing.

Doing what makes Ife loves.

7 years and two solo albums later, I can accompany myself on guitar both acoustic and electric. I also compose all my songs mostly by myself. The only reason why I don’t compose all my songs alone is because I love a good collaboration. I still struggle at times because I am constantly growing and trying to improve as a guitarist and songwriter. 

Moving in new areas of discomfort. For the longest time I avoided learning to finger pick until I decided to push myself to learn, which is what I am working on now. And no matter how uncomfortable it is, I push myself forward. 

The Discipline to Be Uncomfortable

As an artist if you want to be great at what you do, you have to push yourself toward the areas of discomfort, the areas that frighten you, the places that seem scary and insurmountable. And if you are not an artist you can still apply this for anything you want to accomplish in life professionally, physically, with health or even to become happy. In pushing myself to play guitar I learned that inside of me resided a true singer/ songwriter.

All the ideas swarming around in my head, I could now put into song form by myself. I wasn’t just the front person for rock bands anymore and this made me happy because it fulfilled me. Along the way there was plenty of discouragement.

Band mates laughed at me and said I was an amateur and had no business trying to play guitar in a band with more advanced instrumentalists. When I played simple chords with sloppy strumming, other guitarists turned their noses up to me. Some of the advanced guitarist looked at me condescendingly and would say how cute I was trying to play. And although at times this was very painful and made me question what I was doing, I never gave up. I still kept going. 

Because with persistence, every year I got better and better at what I was doing. 

When you move in the direction of discomfort with your art, your art will become richer in quality and you will eventually begin to master your craft. In his book Outliers, author Malcolm Gladwell coined the practice rule that it takes 10,000 hours to master your craft. After you put the 10,000 hours in you are still trying to master it. You will keep trying all of your life. And this is what separates the people who do this as a hobby and the folks who can call themselves True Artists.

Keep moving toward discomfort and watch how you become great. You will know it when you show someone your work and it moves him or her to the point of tears. 

 - Ife Mora

My Blog/My Music

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