English Column: You and your older self
“A moment to remember, a moment to ponder” at Strawberry Farm, Scotland, 1993
From left: Fatimah, me, Muttaqee and Ahmad Azhar (in the baby stroller)
Through the cold night of the 25th of Ramadan, I suddenly remembered an activity my lecturer did last year in my class, American Literature 1.
My lecturer, we all call her Kak Mei decided not to carry on with the syllabus but made a little exercise together. It was an inspiring-motivating-aspiring activity indeed.
“In 20 years’ time, if there is ever a time capsule, what would the current you say to the 40 year old you?” She said.
She asked us to write all the advices (or anything) in a piece of paper and the paper will be collected. It is optional to write your name on the paper or not. She will read it, put it in a bottle and burry it somewhere in IIUM. Maybe if someone discovers it later, it would be a meaningful memory.
20 years from now I will be 44! If I’m still alive that is.
Everybody started writing. Everyone was diligent to write their piece of advice to their old selves. But I, I didn’t know what to write. I leaned back on the uncomfortable chair. Sometimes I gazed outside the window or just went gawking emotionless on the floor.
I peeked to my friend who was sitting beside of me, I couldn’t read what he wrote but I know it is in prose form. Looked like an informal letter.
“In a form of a letter?” I said to myself. It struck me an idea.
“What about I write a letter to the old me?”
I started scribbling. That is what I wrote.
“Dear old Ameen, you should have trained harder improving your Arabic language. Now that you are old, the wires of your brain are crisscrossed.
“Dear Ameen, your belly! Look at it now! Like a pregnant lady! You should have observed your health more! Now your wife hates your fat stomach!”
“Dear Ameen, you have no excuses not to be an awesome dad to your 6 children you have now better than your dad once was!”
“Dear Ameen, you are an embarrassment. At your age now you should have produced at least 25 books. But what have you accomplished, less than 10 books? You call yourself a prolific writer?”
“Dear Ameen, despite the fact you didn’t manage to accomplish most of the objectives you put when you were my age, one thing I’m proud of you. You only married a woman. Your mum should be extremely proud of you. Polygamy isn’t for you I guess?”
When I was I little kid, I wanted to be a writer.
I want to inspire people with words.
Now at least, I’m a blogger/columnist.
Will be a writer soon.
I also wanted to be a teacher.
Now, I’m a student-cum-teacher.
I will gradually improve from time to time.
I will never let myself down.
I will make my old self proud of me!
What about you? Have you thought about what will your old self would be?
“If you knew that tomorrow is your last day, what would you do?”
“I’ll make the best out of today.”
“If you knew that this is your last Ramadan, what would you do?”
