Are You Leaning In?

Many professional women are now familiar with the concept put forth by Sheryl Sandberg, Chief Operating Officer of Facebook, in her book Lean In. The sensation that has followed has been extraordinary, as Lean In clubs and meetups have popped up all over the country and sparked a nationwide (global maybe?) dialogue about women and leadership. One of the basic principles of the book, having confidence in yourself, is something I teach my clients. I have helped hundreds of women advance in their careers with self-assurance.

There is no doubt that corporate boardrooms and corner offices would benefit from the leadership of women. To my women clients, I recommend “thinking big” because, why not? I see the differences between my male and female clients all the time. The men I work with rarely doubt themselves, nor are they afraid to negotiate and ask for the salaries they deserve. They don't waste time wondering if they're good enough. The women need coaching in these areas. I'm not suggesting that we be more like men, rather, that they just borrow a few aspects.

I remember when I was headhunted for my dream job, business development at a design firm. I was so excited, even though the longer hours meant even more time away from my husband, it was just a great opportunity so I made the sacrifice. However, I made some critical mistakes at the time and the job lasted a whopping fourmonths.

Looking back, I realize by not Leaning In, I doomed my chances for success. Here are few things I should have done differently.

Research
Confidence comes from knowledge – knowing your expertise, knowing the job, knowing that you can do it. Also, knowing the company, culture and salary for that position. While I did preliminary research on the company and principals, I didn't dig deeply enough. When you lean in, you have the facts and make sound decisions.
Lean In: Talk to current/past employees, ask about the culture and management style before you say yes.

Do the Math
I didn't negotiate my salary – and I was vastly underpaid! Why? I was so happy to be offered a position doing what I really wanted to do that I accepted the first number they offered. BIG MISTAKE! I should have leaned in and done my research. What I was bringing to the table was worth much more and, more importantly, if you don't negotiate (either an offer or a raise), you lose leverage.
Lean In: Know the salary range for the position. Counter offer with a number at least 10% over. Know your bottom line, and don't budge.

Assert Yourself
I really knew the job they hired me for. But, I was intimidated because it was my first real senior position. Turns out though, the company was not supportive of my role, my co-workers were hostile and undermined me and management left me to drift. I should have leaned in, set a meeting with the CEO and cleared the air. That's what a strong leader would have done (and I was in a leadership position).
Lean In: Take charge of the situation. Ask for a meeting, come prepared. Don't wait for direction, make your own way.

I try to lean in every day now. I encourage my women clients to get out of their comfort zone, to ask for promotions and raises and negotiate job offers, sit on boards; to speak up and not let things slide. You can be a leader, and it starts with a few steps in the right direction!