Proof I’m Not Observant Enough

Writers are supposed to be observant, right? I guess I’m not as observant as I should be. Apparently someone shot at the train just a block from where I was the other night and I never heard a thing.

Don’t you think this is something that one should be aware of when it happens? Shooting a train? A block away from where you are?

Really, I never heard any shots. I didn’t hear anything. I don’t know what was behind all of this, but I’m really glad I wasn’t any closer than I was. My failure to observe what is going on around me could have been dangerous. Man, this is kind of weird.

Worse, the first thing that I thought about when I heard this wasn’t how close the shooting happened without me being aware of it, it was how it reminded me of a fake song from George Carlin’s old ‘Wonderful Wino Radio’ bit:

Now the big rockin’ sound of that great new group from
England—The KANSAS CITY BOYS! With-”MY BABY’S
DEAD”!!!!
“Brrrding-ding Brrrding-ding-ding-ding-ding . . . My baby’s
DEAD!! DE-EH-EH-AAAAUD! Got hit by a TRAIN! Big
‘ol train, diddle-do-do-do. I’m gonna GIT that train diddle-do-
do-do!U”

Man, what is wrong with me?