An Idea To Make Purse Dogs Less Objectionable

I know that not everyone finds purse dogs (you know, the itty bitty little dogs that some people, not always women, carry around in purses like a fashion accessory) objectionable. However, I think we can agree that most people do. In my view, we will call these the ‘sane people.’ However, regardless whether or not you agree with that proposal, I have an idea to make purse dogs less objectionable.

Ventriloquism.

That’s right, ventriloquism. Let’s totally separate out the argument that people with purse dogs seem to have a problem with treating their dog as a fashion accessory and thereby mistreating the animal even if they are not literally abusive (some, not all). Let’s also separate out the argument that seeing someone carrying a purse dog down the street is horrifying on many (taste, good sense, etc.) levels. Beyond all of that, aren’t purse dog practitioners missing a grand opportunity?

After all, the art of ventriloquism seems to be under-practiced in contemporary America. Considering that and the fact that these purse dog people are already horrifying the rest of us, shouldn’t they at least consider throwing us a bone and learning ventriloquism? Anytime they talk, they should make it look like the dog is doing it.

Just imagine:

“You have a purse dog?” a horrified passerby on the street incredulously remarks.

“It’s not what it looks like,” the dog in the purse apparently replies while the human carrying the purse stands mute. “I’m actually a mad scientist trapped in a dog’s body and this person is just a robot designed to carry me around. Think Krang from  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.”

“Oh, all right then,” the formerly horrified passerby replies. “Carry on then.”

See how much better that would be? I think it’s the least these purse dog people can do to try to make it up to the rest of humanity. Frankly, and though this is just my personal opinion, I think they owe us.