Christian Forgiveness – Is it Done Any Different?
Below you’ll find an extensive excerpt from my book “Cheaper Than Therapy“. It is a book not just on forgiveness, for all people, not just Christians. But Christian forgiveness is such a big aspect of their faith. From personal relationships, to the very foundational concepts upon which a Christian is able to approach God, the common strain throughout it all is forgiveness.
The findings below are based on a research paper that I used for one of the chapters. Essentially, it found that there were 4 demographic groups which were statistically more likely to forgive. Older people, women, people who believed in the existence of a God, and Christians. I have added my thoughts on the last two groups.
I’m not proposing that people who aren’t Christians can’t forgive, merely I’m just proposing reasons as to why Christians as a demographic, appear to be better at it.
A take on the “To Err is Human, to Forgive is Divine”. I think I like this one better…
God and Consequences
A number of studies found that if a person believes in the existence of God (not necessarily Christians), they are more likely to engage in forgiveness. The study didn’t specify which god they believed in, only that you believe there is a god out there, and he’s keeping score. These people find it easier to forgive for one of two reasons:
Guilt
People who have a belief in a higher being may feel that they should “do the right thing”. Everyone’s moral code is different, but if you believe in a God, he/she probably expects you to be good (at least when people are looking).
Fear/ Karma
When people believe their actions will lead to a proportionate reaction, they are more likely to choose to be “good” (such as forgiving) in the expectation it’ll come back to them. A commonly held belief among people who believe in a God are that their actions result in consequences in their own lives equating to what they had done to others – a “you reap what you sow” mentality.
The belief in a cosmic cause and effect results in increased empathy towards others and an ability to forgive oneself when in the wrong, as you believe that one day you’ll be paid back in kind for these actions. But if this karma thing really is true, why don’t pigeons get pooped on? And for some people, even pigeons aren’t enough – flying cows anyone?
What is your moral code?
What would stop you from doing something bad that you could get away without ever being penalised?
Have you ever done something that later resulted in an equivalent consequence for you – either good or bad?
Grace and Passing The Debt On
“Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.” - Will Smith
According to research I look at in my book “Cheaper Than Therapy” if a person regularly goes to church they are more likely to forgive than if they don’t. It appears that the beliefs of churchgoers tend more towards forgiving than those who don’t attend church.
Why do Christians forgive so much more than your average Joe? The study found that the Christian faith is strongly correlated with the ability to forgive, as distinct from those who believe in a God.
There are a number of factors that cause Christians to lean more frequently towards forgiveness:
Grace and Christian Forgiveness
For a Christian “believer” the consequences for the wrong things they’ve done are removed when Jesus died on the cross. As a result, they are expected to forgive others in turn:
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” – Jesus
According to biblical accounts, Jesus sets Christians an example by forgiving the people putting him to death, as they were doing it, even though he was innocent:
“Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’” – Jesus
Christian believers are motivated by the belief they have a personal relationship with God. This concept is called “grace” – understanding this concept is pivotal when a person becomes a Christian. In doing so, a Christian then applies grace to other parts of their lives.
The central message of the Christian faith is that Jesus died to take the consequences for wrongdoing by becoming the substitute for those who believe because of his love for the world. This is the central tenet of the faith of a Christian “believer”, as opposed to someone who identifies more with the values of Christianity.
God’s Perfect Justice
Christians believe their God is perfectly just, and will see justice done on “judgement day”, which is the day where every person who has ever lived will have to account for their lives. The bible explains how Jesus satisfies this need for perfect justice when he dies instead of the person who deserved it by being crucified. In doing this, justice is satisfied, and yet people who fall short of this standard are still able to escape the penalty for their wrongdoing.
In forgiving, a Christian forgives a debt, yet knowing that one day there is an accounting for debts in the highest courtroom. It’s a similar concept to the way a company writes off a debt. They will write off the debt as bad, but the debt may still be paid in litigation down the line.
Community
The closeness of community in many churches that Christians attend means there is an incentive to work through an issue, rather than walking away. A rift can affect the whole community, giving leaders within a church incentive to get involved and broker a solution between parties involved. This doesn’t always lead to Christian forgiveness, but can help.
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