A Bittersweet Goodbye to my Laptop
My workspace with my beloved old Mac
Today I bought a new laptop. I feel like a traitor to my faithful writing companion and the superstitious Irish part of me is a little bit nervous about messing with success. BUT, it was time for a changing of the guard. I’m writing this post on my “old” laptop, in honor of all we’ve done together. It’s been a pretty fantastic five years. When I think of the thousands upon thousands of words my fingers have tapped out on the keyboard and the array of books, artistic projects, resumes, emails, and who-knows-what-else I’ve done on it, it’s pretty astounding.
My husband with Pantalaimon (“Pan”), our once-upon-a-time pup
My husband and I bought this, our first Mac, when we started our own theatre company in LA. It was called Theatre Yawp. He worked on his first play on it and I worked on mission statements, press releases, and my first book, a middle-grade that may or may not ever see the light of day. Alas, the company did not last long, but I was already back to being focused on my writing when we disbanded. While writing, my husband and I worked on our Peace Corps applications (we got accepted, but ended up not going for medical reasons). I started my first YA – another book that may or may not ever see the light of day. Then we used the laptop to do boring GRE prep and less boring graduate school applications. I kept writing and the queries I wrote produced rejections, some nicer than others.
Then I wrote Something Real. And applied for the Susan P. Bloom PEN New England Discovery Award. I won for Something Real (then entitled Streaming). I wrote a query to my agent before she was my agent. Then I wrote another book. And another. And a synopsis for a trilogy. And emails to my editors and blog posts and more stories that may or may not ever see the light of day.
Doing revisions for Something Real last winter
I wrote two eulogies last year on it – one for my grandfather and one for my great-grandmother. They are perhaps some of the most important and meaningful writing I will ever do. I wrote long emails reconnecting to my best friend that I’d been estranged from. I looked for apartments in New York City. I began writing my graduate thesis.
My Mac at my first VCFA residency
It’s funny, intellectually I know that this computer is an amalgamation of plastic and metal and whatever else Apple puts into their amazing machines. But because I’ve carried it around with me all over the country and spent most of my days with my fingers on its keys, its somehow become more than the sum of its parts. I feel like something of me must be imprinted on it. I’ve experienced many of the past years’ highest highs and lowest lows sitting before its screen. This tiny machine is, other than my husband, the very center of my life, where all that I’m most passionate about bubbles to the surface.
One of many coffeehouses my Mac has kept me company at
Don’t get me wrong–I’m absolutely thrilled to be getting a new laptop. It’s coming into my life during some pretty awesome changes. My laptop, like me, will be based in Brooklyn. It will have ITS OWN OFFICE. And it will go to many coffee shops, take many flights, and hang out at libraries. On it, I will write the majority of my HarperCollins trilogy. And emails to wounded warriors for my second realism book. It will see half of my graduate coursework and all kinds of stories I’ve yet to dream up. Yes, my new laptop will be very busy indeed.
While I get to know my new laptop, this one will be traveling across the world to Cambodia, where a family we’re close to will contribute their hopes and dreams to its story. Who knows, maybe all those hours of creative slaving away I’ve put on it will rub off on their fingertips and fill the children of that family with an urge to create. I know it will be in good hands.
My husband with Both and his family in Phnom Penh, Cambodia
