New Chapter, First Pass Pages, and ARC Anticipation

So, as all of my Facebook friends are probably tired of hearing, I got to quit my day job today!! Almost exactly a year ago, I wrote a post on how it sucks to have a day job, but is a necessity. So it’s kinda crazy that I’m actually to the point where I can’t write and work another job. I feel blessed, but it hasn’t really hit me yet. I don’t think it will for a while. I’ll probably feel like I’m on vacation, then remember I have five books coming out and an MFA to complete. That’s when I’ll panic…and then tell myself that’s exactly why I quit my day job. It’s scary and exhilarating and surreal and I’m not naive enough to think that I will never again have a day job. I know the artist’s life is anything but predictable. So I’m going to try to appreciate this time as much as I can. It feels precious, like holding blown glass or a baby anything. So I’m starting a new chapter (pun intended) in my life and I’m going to do my damnedest to be worthy of it.

A quick note: I hesitated about writing this post because I’m worried people will think I’m an asshole, being all oh I quit my day job yadda yadda yadda. So let me explain: I want everyone out there who is creative – whether they be a writer or some other kind of artist – to know that it’s possible to have your dreams come true. I know it doesn’t happen for everyone and that there are life circumstances that prevent even the most talented of people from pursuing their artist heart’s desire. But for those of you who are despairing or thinking about throwing in the towel or just feeling really blegh about the hardness of all of it…just know it’s possible. And tell all the dream scoffers to shove it. You are beautiful for doing your art. So keep on keeping on, camerados.

In other news, I got my first pass pages this week – this is pretty much the most awesome week ever (as long as my NYC apartment hunting this weekend isn’t a bust). I’m not a crier, so I didn’t burst into tears when I saw the interior design of my book, SOMETHING REAL, but I definitely had a whoa moment. Just like quitting my day job, it’s surreal to see this manuscript you slaved over and that was yours and yours alone suddenly look like a real book and to know it belongs to other people too. The designer, your editor, and all the wonderful people who have put so much love and thought into it. It’s humbling and fucking awesome. So now I’m editing it and loving getting to make it better. Seriously, a writer’s work is never done. I can’t believe how many little things I notice every time I read it. Thank God my publisher is going to take it out of my hands and not let me fix it anymore. At some point, you have to let it go into the world. I don’t have children, but I’m guessing this is like having your baby go to kindergarten. Bittersweet.

So now I’m waiting for my ARC to come out. Should be  by the end of July and I’m psyched to see it in even more of a book form. Still, it’s not going to be *real* (heehee) until I see it at a bookstore or in a stranger’s hand. I might die of pure bliss on the spot. Or be obnoxious and take a picture. I can’t wait to hear what people think (unless they’re haters, then I can wait until I’m cold in my grave and even a little while longer after that). I also really love my characters and am thrilled for other people to meet them. It feels like they’re the dearest of friends, but they live out of town and now I’m about to introduce them to everyone…or something like that.

A last random note: one of my students today was talking about why she started learning classical guitar at age thirty-three. She said “my parents didn’t have art blood” and so it took her a long time to give herself permission to pursue creative things. I just loved that expression “art blood.” What is it that draws some of us to the arts? Maybe it’s in the blood or maybe, like anything worth having, you have to direct your whole being into the pursuit of it.

Have a good weekend, everyone!