Everything I Needed to Know About Living with a Writer I Learned by Living with a Writer

Guest post by Liz Smith

I’m an artist. When I met my future husband, I thought his creative lifestyle would be similar to mine. I might have had easel-side-by-typewriter romantic notions of our life together.  But being married to a writer turns out to be an, um, interesting experience. If you recently joined up with a writer, maybe I can give you some idea of what to expect.

The smell of coffee at 6 am.

He doesn’t leave for work until 8:00, but my writer gets up at an unreasonable hour to work on his writing. I stay in bed until at least 7:30, a generous gesture on my part that gives him the space and silence he needs to get his work done. Otherwise I’d be up early too, yep, I sure would. Maybe your writer stays up long after you’ve fallen asleep with your iGadget on the counterpane. Either way, your writer is going to be more tired than you during the day.

Deadlines make my writer super focused, I mean crabby.

That curt answer your writer gave to a simple question about what he wants to do for dinner? That odd way he lies on the floor moaning? Don’t take it personally; that’s deadline malaise. If you find your writer acting out of character, check his Google calendar to see if his blog post’s due tomorrow. Now give him some coffee and leave the house. When you get back, he’ll either be ready for you to proofread or you’ll need to start all over again with the coffee.

Those people your writer’s talking about? Yeah, they don’t exist.

I’m not one to judge, I have imaginary friends too. They live in my Twitter. Oh they are probably real but I will never know for sure unless I do some stalking and that would require planning and travel, so that’s out. But the people my writer talks about? They are really imaginary.

Scene: We are in line at a coffee shop. My writer looks around and says “A. works in a place like this. Not exactly like this, but very similar.” I think: who is A.? I run through a list of his coworkers in my mind, then friends, then old schoolmates he accidentally reconnected with on Facebook. Nothing. I ask “Are you writing fiction right now?” My writer snaps out of his 1,000 yard stare, admits “Yeah.”

However, be prepared to find some familiar scenes in your writer’s “fiction.”

How exciting! Your writer finally has pages to show you. You’ve been so careful not to ask “How is it coming along?” Your writer doesn’t look good crying. But now there is proof that your writer’s not been typing All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy for six months straight. You settle into the throw pillows with a chapter and start to read.

Hey, that character is named after your best friend, how fun! And there’s the car you once owned, cute! Hmmm, that fight about the-mother-in-law sounds really familiar. And um, that thing the main character does on the first date? Uh oh. It’s at this point you realize that, like a magpie, your writer has been collecting shiny bits of your life together and blinging out his fictional nest with them. Ensues a delicate discussion of what is and isn’t appropriate to appropriate.

Writers like to get together.

Sometimes when I get together with my artist friends we make stuff, that way we can enjoy each other’s company while being productive. But what does my writer do when he gets together with other writers? It’s mysterious. I know they don’t sit and quietly write. I imagine they talk about agents and queries and contests and publishing. Or maybe they just drink. All I know is my writer doesn’t bring home writing from his get-togethers. Your writer might come home smelling like beer, but don’t worry, that email address scrawled on a crumpled slip of paper you found in his pants pocket? It belongs to an agent.

Well, there is so much more to warn…I mean, tell you about. But hopefully this will give you some notion of what it’s like to have a writer in the home.  Despite all his idiosyncrasies and the stacks and stacks of books everywhere, I enjoy having a writer around. Especially when I need someone to proofread my blog posts.

Liz Smith is the maker behind the craft business Made in Lowell. She is married to the writer behind the blog Unreliable Narrator, Beyond the Margins’ own Dell Smith. They live in a romantic attic apartment in Paris, France…actually, a condo in Lowell, MA with their irascible cat, Chester. This piece originally ran on Beyond the Margins on July 25, 2011.

Photo credits:

Typewriter: http://www.flickr.com/photos/31693711...

Easel:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/allyaubr...