It Is A Rule That Caffeinated Coffee Gets Made First
Rule: caffeinated coffee gets made first. I did not make up this rule. I am not announcing it. This is merely a universal law that must be followed upon the penalty of severely unpleasant things. Do not violate this rule.
This comes to mind because the facilities person at my office (who is normally in charge of making the coffee, among other arguably more important duties) is on vacation. Because of this, people who are not normally responsible for making the coffee have generously been taking it upon themselves to make sure coffee gets made. This is laudable and I am not complaining about that.
However, I went to grab coffee first thing this morning and saw that only one pot of coffee had been made thus far. This would not have been a problem…if whoever had made it hadn’t chosen to make decaffeinated coffee first.
I will repeat that. There was no coffee. Someone generously decided to make some. To get the coffee circuit started in the morning, they made decaffeinated.
This was wrong on so many levels. Why would someone do that? Well, probably because they drink decaffeinated. However, they have to understand: they drink coffee for enjoyment. No decaffeinated drinker drinks coffee for any actual real purpose. Decaffeinated coffee is pointless. However, normal coffee drinkers drink coffee for a real reason: to wake up. If you take up room int he coffee circuit to make decaffeinated before caffeinated coffee is made, you are putting your drinking pleasure ahead of actual purpose and potentially irreparably damaging the core functioning of the office.
Do not do this.
Frankly, I would rather whoever it was had made the hazelnut coffee instead. I still wouldn’t have drank it (because it is disgusting), but at least the hazelnut coffee has caffeine and has a reason for being made.
Granted, you can’t really complain at a volunteer and whoever made this was clearly making the kind of coffee they wanted. Still, this person has to know that this incorrect performance of coffee circuit protocol violates all known laws of decency and decorum. Do not mess with caffeinated coffee drinkers coffee. We are very brittle about it.
