I Need My Pills!
If I ever believed there may come a day when I would no longer need to be medicated for my B-Polar disorder this week has proved the fallacy of those beliefs. It has been just a little more than one year since my doctor put me on a regime of Lithium and Prozac, the double barreled shotgun of mental health medication. They are ancient, venerated, powerful, and oh so fucking effective.
I think that it is safe to say that this past year has been the happiest and most productive of my life. I also think it is safe to further say that my “Better Living through Chemistry” has had a lot to do with it.
Not to minimize the effect of last year’s “Scorched Earth” avalanche of blog essays.
I have never been without my meds since they were prescribed. This is a very important thing that you need to, nay must, remember. It is very easy my friends and enemies to become used to living normally. It is so easy that when I started feeling like my old bad self again it was horrible.
My medication ran out on Sunday.
I had requested a refill through my normally reliable pharmacy five days earlier. There has never been a problem getting my medication in all of the years that I have been having them filled there and I never expected that there would be.
There was.
When I called the pharmacy on Friday I was informed that there had been some kind of screw up. Honestly the brain dead jack hole I talked to never gave me a clear answer. The end result was that I would not be able to get any meds until I spoke with my doctor. My doctor’s office does not take request for refills from patients only from pharmacies thus leaving me in the proverbial pickle. I already had an appointment to see my doctor on Wednesday so I figured I could just tough it out for three days.
Boy was I wrong.
On Monday I was a little antsy. On Tuesday I was feeling irritable and having trouble sleeping. When I woke up this morning I was ready to rip my own skin off, attack the neighbors, take over a radio station, and declare myself the Lord Valley. The begin demanding tribute and sacrifices from all.
So I felt bad.
When I arrived at the doctor’s office this morning I was not well. When I told her what had happened she called the prescription in immediately. After leaving the office I collected my bottle of precious’s from the pharmacy and took one.
I feel better now seven hours later.
So let that be a lesson to you boils and ghouls, if I am off my meds stay away or be ready with the stun guns!
- Josh
I think that it is safe to say that this past year has been the happiest and most productive of my life. I also think it is safe to further say that my “Better Living through Chemistry” has had a lot to do with it.
Not to minimize the effect of last year’s “Scorched Earth” avalanche of blog essays.
I have never been without my meds since they were prescribed. This is a very important thing that you need to, nay must, remember. It is very easy my friends and enemies to become used to living normally. It is so easy that when I started feeling like my old bad self again it was horrible.
My medication ran out on Sunday.
I had requested a refill through my normally reliable pharmacy five days earlier. There has never been a problem getting my medication in all of the years that I have been having them filled there and I never expected that there would be.
There was.
When I called the pharmacy on Friday I was informed that there had been some kind of screw up. Honestly the brain dead jack hole I talked to never gave me a clear answer. The end result was that I would not be able to get any meds until I spoke with my doctor. My doctor’s office does not take request for refills from patients only from pharmacies thus leaving me in the proverbial pickle. I already had an appointment to see my doctor on Wednesday so I figured I could just tough it out for three days.
Boy was I wrong.
On Monday I was a little antsy. On Tuesday I was feeling irritable and having trouble sleeping. When I woke up this morning I was ready to rip my own skin off, attack the neighbors, take over a radio station, and declare myself the Lord Valley. The begin demanding tribute and sacrifices from all.
So I felt bad.
When I arrived at the doctor’s office this morning I was not well. When I told her what had happened she called the prescription in immediately. After leaving the office I collected my bottle of precious’s from the pharmacy and took one.
I feel better now seven hours later.
So let that be a lesson to you boils and ghouls, if I am off my meds stay away or be ready with the stun guns!
- Josh
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Teresa wrote: "Josh,I originally became interested in your writings a couple of days ago. So needless to say, you have won me over in that time. Enough that i actually want to talk back to you! This is a good..."
Thank you so much for sharing. Every time someone opens up to me about their experiences with mental health disorders it makes me feel like I did the right thing when I decided to be 100% honest about my life and share everything.
It makes me stronger and a better person.
I am so glad that your sister had strong people like yourself to help her through that hellish time. If not for the strength of my wife I honestly don't know if I would still be here.
On another note I hope you are enjoying my work!
- Josh
Josh wrote: "Teresa wrote: "Josh,I originally became interested in your writings a couple of days ago. So needless to say, you have won me over in that time. Enough that i actually want to talk back to you! ..."
Josh!
You got back rather quickly! Thanks!
I didnt know if I did the right thing either! Now I know I did!
You are stronger now in yourself! You have to know that for yourself! Believe in you and the rest of us will fall in like little lambs!
I am immensely enjoying your books as I get them!
I can not wait for you new one next year that you talked about. The one of all your blog posts from previous. I think that will be spectacular! We not only get learn how you grow but your process get their in your righting!
I have everything set up to hear about it and I love the concept of your freefriday.com. So I signed up for that immediately!
I am watching and learning from you now!
Good karma to you and good luck!
Teresa
I originally became interested in your writings a couple of days ago. So needless to say, you have won me over in that time. Enough that i actually want to talk back to you! This is a good thing...i think!?
I am a newbie when it comes to writing comments. Actually you are my first. So please excuse me for my grammer mistakes, my wordy writing and if i a cross some line!
This writing is the writing that sold me on you! Your ability to show a weakness, encapsulate it and throw it out there for all to see. No fear of negativity because this writing was for you and not them. So screw them!
Yeah for you! Excellent!
I am not bipolar. However, I have a sister who is severely bipolar! Through the years of growing up and growing older, I have been chased by her on many occasion with knives, forks and yes even weapons of the truest demon born creations. It was not until about 5 years ago she was diagnosed. Now that means she has spent almost 40 years of misdiagnosis and increasingly catastrophic behavior!
Her aha moment came two years ago. I will not rely everything but I will give the nutshell version.
My brotherinlaw called us, me and my husband. May I point out, he ONLY did this when it was so bad and she was so dark and unreachable, he needed help to reach her!
We went over, we listened to the activities for the last couple of days. I turned to go in the house. This time was the worse case scenario...she had a loaded gun!
My husband stopped me. They just wanted to call the cops. However, when cops get involved that brings in more guns, it brings in mandatory hospital stays, reevaluations, interference in diagnosis, interference on drug prescriptions, etc. ALL of this brings in more fear and psychosis and the real possibility of real death...hers! It means to me that we all have given up.
Nope! Can't give up yet!
I went in, she shot about 3 or 4 rounds at me. Of course, she missed...I'm still here! I finally got her to give me the gun. Se explained feeling the almost the same as you did. Her exception was hat people were involved and according to her they would not go away. So her mind took over and she says she decided that was the only way to be alone and not hurt anyone. She did not want any one to know she had lost one of her meds and could not find it. So she did not take any for 4 days at that point.
I stayed the rest of the weekend. We got her back on the lithium. Me never found the other medicine. We called her doctor bright and early Monday morning. However, we encountered the newbie nurse from hell! The bitch kept trying to make appointments for two or three weeks from today! Some how she did not understand the sense of emergency. She decided it was not and my sister would have to wait!
Still trying to keep the story short. I excused myself politely from my sister and went out to my car with my cell phone. Now I put on my SUPER BITCH, called the little nurse back! I told her were to go and what she could do to herself and her little dog too! Finally, she took offense and I got to speak the doctor nurse and ten to the doctor. AND it only took me 5 hours!
We finally got her back on everything. I only stay until she tells me to go. That is our little secret. About two weeks later she was ready and I went home. All total about three an a half weeks...the longest stay to date!
My point is from a different view. I know what can happen! I've been there, I've lived it!
We have always believed that life less medicated is better...especially our mother. I wish I could say we came from the perfect background...we didn't! I wish I could say our lives have been perfect through the decades...it hasnt!
But one thing I do know is what is see. I see her married with 4 kids and happier than she has ever been! This is her life finally through medications she has reached normal.
God did not create us all perfect. If he did we would not need education, jobs, food, or reproduction. Why we would all be perfect so why would we need anything.
People don't get until there in it...a life PROPERLY medicated can be well lived!
So be proud! You hit another milestone in your and your investment in your happy! You have reached a new level! So I just wanted you know my words have meaning and are well aware of your mindset. I speak from my heart and soul when I say all these things to you!
I am very proud of you! I know you have reached a new level in your life so be the happiest you can and enjoy it! You have found your rainbow and pot of gold!
Well done my new friend...well done!