Welcome To The Tenth Circle: "Hello Kitty" Hell

So here's the deal: The Hello Kitty thing?

I'm just. Not. Into. It.

Matter of fact, my aversion to the mouthless creature has steadily swollen—not unlike her head— over the years.

It's not just because the creature's  a scene-o-type as overplayed as Fall Out Boy's greatest hits

(ditto, tiaras—leave 'em to Quinceneras, Scenario Dawson: what do you think this is, 2007?);

nor is it the result of the anti-feminist mentality in which she's so flagrantly mired

(the fact that...