Toffs, Twitter and Trips
Since publishing Trouble At Toff Towers I’ve been on Twitter an awful lot and I have read some very interesting tweets; some of which I have responded to. One such tweet was from @mishcousin. She was asking whether anyone had any “named injuries”. I was more than happy to let her know that I do indeed; I have an M & S toe and a Morrisons knee.
The M & S toe doesn’t bother me too much; just every now and then if I wear very high heels. I sustained this particular injury during a bout of Christmas shopping. I was browsing for gifts when a member of staff tripped backwards, put a foot out to steady himself and landed with all his weight square on my left big toe. He wobbled whilst I screamed and down came his weight again whilst he regained his balance. It all happened in an agonising flash and I have to say the staff member concerned couldn’t apologise enough. He made absolutely sure I was OK before allowing me to hobble off and continue my shopping.
My Morrisons knee doesn’t bother me at all these days but I must admit to being rather fond of it. Reason being it was the inspiration behind a bit of my book. Well, they say, “Write about what you know”, don’t they? Here’s the extract:
I headed off to the supermarket. Didn’t need much really, just a couple of bottles of wine to go with tonight’s dinner (thought I would get Jack’s favourite as a little treat). I must admit I was a bit preoccupied, thinking about the forthcoming trip to Antigua when, suddenly, I found myself inexplicably up in the air, my arms and legs flailing in a sort of doggy paddle fashion and then I was descending towards the hard tiled floor in what seemed like slow motion. Eventually I landed with a loud crunch (my knee). I had in fact walked right into one of those yellow “safety” cones which (are supposed to) warn one about wet floors etc.
I looked up helplessly only to find I had landed right by the Rioja. Why oh why oh why could this unfortunate incident not have happened by the baked beans? No, wait. Maybe not. One’s image is of the utmost importance after all and Rioja does smack slightly more of sophistication than baked beans.
Managed to struggle to my feet and stole a glance around. There was just one other person around. Male. Back to me. Shoulders shaking. Honestly...no sign of concern or offer of help whatsoever. Unbloodybelievable!
I quickly stood the yellow cone back up, grabbed a couple of bottles of the Rioja, limped along to the checkout and departed with as much dignity as I could muster. Managed to drive home (although I was in absolute agony), and immediately raided the freezer for something cold to apply to my knee (went for the petit pois option).
Yes, this actually happened, yes it was in the wine aisle and yes there really was someone there, with his back to me, unable to disguise the laughter evident by his shaking shoulders!
Before I go must just mention that I also have Banker’s neck. Banker’s neck was something which came in very handy when (in another life) I was actually a Banker (I needed an awful lot of neck in those days). However, years and years of sitting in the same position at a computer have taken their toll and now Banker’s neck means something completely different. I try not to sit at the computer for long periods now. This has resulted in another injury altogether – I call it iPad wrist.
So, why did @mishcousin want to know all this in the first place? I have absolutely no idea. You could always ask her yourself.
Trouble At Toff Towers
The M & S toe doesn’t bother me too much; just every now and then if I wear very high heels. I sustained this particular injury during a bout of Christmas shopping. I was browsing for gifts when a member of staff tripped backwards, put a foot out to steady himself and landed with all his weight square on my left big toe. He wobbled whilst I screamed and down came his weight again whilst he regained his balance. It all happened in an agonising flash and I have to say the staff member concerned couldn’t apologise enough. He made absolutely sure I was OK before allowing me to hobble off and continue my shopping.
My Morrisons knee doesn’t bother me at all these days but I must admit to being rather fond of it. Reason being it was the inspiration behind a bit of my book. Well, they say, “Write about what you know”, don’t they? Here’s the extract:
I headed off to the supermarket. Didn’t need much really, just a couple of bottles of wine to go with tonight’s dinner (thought I would get Jack’s favourite as a little treat). I must admit I was a bit preoccupied, thinking about the forthcoming trip to Antigua when, suddenly, I found myself inexplicably up in the air, my arms and legs flailing in a sort of doggy paddle fashion and then I was descending towards the hard tiled floor in what seemed like slow motion. Eventually I landed with a loud crunch (my knee). I had in fact walked right into one of those yellow “safety” cones which (are supposed to) warn one about wet floors etc.
I looked up helplessly only to find I had landed right by the Rioja. Why oh why oh why could this unfortunate incident not have happened by the baked beans? No, wait. Maybe not. One’s image is of the utmost importance after all and Rioja does smack slightly more of sophistication than baked beans.
Managed to struggle to my feet and stole a glance around. There was just one other person around. Male. Back to me. Shoulders shaking. Honestly...no sign of concern or offer of help whatsoever. Unbloodybelievable!
I quickly stood the yellow cone back up, grabbed a couple of bottles of the Rioja, limped along to the checkout and departed with as much dignity as I could muster. Managed to drive home (although I was in absolute agony), and immediately raided the freezer for something cold to apply to my knee (went for the petit pois option).
Yes, this actually happened, yes it was in the wine aisle and yes there really was someone there, with his back to me, unable to disguise the laughter evident by his shaking shoulders!
Before I go must just mention that I also have Banker’s neck. Banker’s neck was something which came in very handy when (in another life) I was actually a Banker (I needed an awful lot of neck in those days). However, years and years of sitting in the same position at a computer have taken their toll and now Banker’s neck means something completely different. I try not to sit at the computer for long periods now. This has resulted in another injury altogether – I call it iPad wrist.
So, why did @mishcousin want to know all this in the first place? I have absolutely no idea. You could always ask her yourself.
Trouble At Toff Towers
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