Ian, Who Queried Agents, and Died in a Mudslide - A Cautionary Tale

Once upon a time there was a man who was partly mad, and so he became a writer.

Look at what fun he's having, children, with his pens and paper and all his ideas. Hooray for the writer! Hooray!

One day, not so long ago, the writer - who we can call Ian, if you like - decided it was time to write a Book. It was going to be a Very Good Book, and perhaps even a Great Book. He didn't write it just to make money, although if that happened, well then, he wasn't going to say no.

He might have been a...