I dated a guy in a wheelchair. Yeah. I don't need any awards, not really. Plus, it was just one date. And I was hell-bent on making it a wonderful time for the guy. His legs didn't worked, but at least he had me. Part-way through the appetizer I decided I'd marry the guy.
I didn't particularly like his personality,
but he'd become paralyzed in an accident, so--what the heck--I'd sacrifice my life to entertain him.
I was sixteen. Smart enough to realize our marriage might not be that great--solely because my torso was longer than his. When we went to a movie later that night, he sat three inches shorter than me. I bent my giraffe-like neck, trying to rest my head on his shoulder. But his shoulder was far lower than mine, and after a while my crooked neck pulsed with pain.
The movie looked weird sideways--but who cared--I was putting my head on this guy's shoulder 'cause he was in a wheelchair. My vision blurred. Blood went into my forehead and I nearly blacked out.
We still didn't get along too well, but it was more romantic than dying in love's embrace. So I kinda grew teary-eyed, thinking how bad my neck hurt for love. Someday we'd get married. I'd be in a neck brace and he'd be in his wheelchair. Yeah.
When I was sixteen, I had the best intentions. It's a good thing the guy didn't marry me--the worst thing that could've happened to him. He may have been in a wheelchair, but I was the one with an underdeveloped brain.
Anyway, I thought about this memory and laughed out loud. Did you ever do something completely stupid when you were a teenager on a date?
Published on May 20, 2013 19:04
Before you attempt to use another disabled person, call me, Eliza. I can don a full body cast at the snap of your fingers. Love those sponge baths.
Readers can express their sympathy for my faux-injury by pre-ordering a copy of my new book Fresh Wind & Strange Fire: One Man's Adventures in Primal Mexico on Amazon. You can tax deduct this contribution to the faux-differently-enabled, unless you belong to a conservative group, in which case you might get audited.