What Does Your Browser History Say About You?

Okay, so I clear my browser history every day. Mostly because my nine-year-old nephew often uses my computer, and there are things there that I don't want him to see. I'm already known as the relative who taught him the f-word at age three. Which, to be fair, was absolutely not my fault. I'd forgotten he was strapped into his kiddy seat in the back of my car. My invisible car, apparently, since a truck came out of a side street, completely didn't see me, and I had to brake and swerve off the road to avoid becoming a statistic. 
Then, while I was sitting there with my hands shaking on the steering wheel and my heart trying to break out from behind my ribs, a little voice piped up from the back seat: "Aunty Lisa, what's a fuck?" 
If I'd been able to think straight, I might have told him I said truck. 
So, six years down the track, and Tom uses my computer a lot. And, after one (fortunately closely monitored) incident where he wanted Google, typed "g" in the search bar and it defaulted to gaytube, I've learned to cover my tracks. 



But it did get me thinking about what my browser history says about me. 
Because, as a writer, I go off on whatever interesting tangent my imagination tells me to. A lot of the time this is porn. Which I can totally excuse as research, so there's that. But sometimes it's actual research, and I wonder what red flags are being raised when I spend a whole night searching "yellowcake" "armament factories" and "nuclear weapons". 
Surprisingly difficult to get information on the subject, to be honest. Unless you're a terrorist, I suppose, but maybe they don't use Google. Because I really want my guy to work in a factory that makes missiles, and even though I've found some great pictures, I'm pretty certain I need to know what those awesome-looking machines actually do before I write about them. I mean, it's only peripheral information, but I don't want to screw it up. 
Also, I don't want to get put on a no-fly list, so I don't know... 
Back to porn, I guess. 
Now, if you'll excuse me I need to delete my browser history before I get, "Aunty Lisa, what's an emergency twink?" 




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Published on May 11, 2013 23:25
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message 1: by Shadow Jubilee (new)

Shadow Jubilee ...I knew I forgot to do something the last time I took my laptop in to get it "fixed". Good thing most of my Google searches are fairly innocuous - I hope.


message 2: by J.A. (new)

J.A. Rock Thank you for introducing me to emergency twink, but I have to admit I was a little disappointed the emergency otter site it links to was the hairy, small-framed gay man kind of otter and not the playful semiaquatic creature.

Not that I don't love me some furry gay boys. I just need to find a place I can get an emergency actual-otter fix.


message 3: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry The UHQ Nasanta wrote: "...I knew I forgot to do something the last time I took my laptop in to get it "fixed". Good thing most of my Google searches are fairly innocuous - I hope."

Oh god, mine are...um...interesting to say the least!


message 4: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry J.A. wrote: "Thank you for introducing me to emergency twink, but I have to admit I was a little disappointed the emergency otter site it links to was the hairy, small-framed gay man kind of otter and not the p..."

I know, right? I was also disappointed to find out that the otters were the human variant. Because actual otters, along with penguins and meerkats, may be THE GREATEST ANIMALS ON EARTH.


message 5: by J.A. (new)

J.A. Rock Wait, I've done it! http://cutebabyotters.com


message 6: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry J.A. wrote: "Wait, I've done it! http://cutebabyotters.com"

You are awesome!


message 7: by Katyna (new)

Katyna I saw a meme that had a gigantic squid on the deck of a boat and the caption, "I've seen enough Hentai to know where this is going".

So of course I had to Google Hentai.

There should be a meme of my face the first time I saw Hentai with the caption, "I've seen enough pictures of middle-age moms googling Hentai to know where this is going."

I had no idea there was that much of a demand for people, mostly young girls being molested by squid.


message 8: by Lisa (last edited May 12, 2013 04:54PM) (new)

Lisa Henry Ginmar wrote: "Well, great, apparently my browser history is a gardening-obsessed wetewolfmasexual with a penchant for ballet and cameras. As my ex-roommate once sneered, "there's more to life than books and c..."

Aw Ginmar...there goes today. I'll be all, "Nope, not writing, too busy looking at miniature animals!"

And also, booze and infidelity...ah, that takes me back. Not even that far, if I'm honest!


message 9: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry Katyna wrote: "I saw a meme that had a gigantic squid on the deck of a boat and the caption, "I've seen enough Hentai to know where this is going".

So of course I had to Google Hentai.

There should be a meme of..."


I think my face was probably the same the first time I googled Hentai. Although, when it comes to squid molestation, I much prefer the victims to be boys.

And that's what I love about the internet. Who knew I'd ever have a preference when it came to squid molestation? :)


message 10: by Katyna (new)

Katyna I read Details of the Hunt by Laura Baumbach and she had an alien with "extra fanciness and that's when I discovered that I prefer my squid molestation to be boys too. The greatest thing about the internet though is that I can find that one person out there that likes the same "whatever" as I do.


message 11: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry Katyna wrote: "I read Details of the Hunt by Laura Baumbach and she had an alien with "extra fanciness and that's when I discovered that I prefer my squid molestation to be boys too. The greatest thing about the..."

Exactly! You're never alone in your weirdness!


message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

J.A. wrote: "Wait, I've done it! http://cutebabyotters.com"

love the pictures of baby otters! especially the one "You’re holding me just a little too tight"...what a privilidge to hold something so precious...
8)


message 13: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry Lily wrote: "J.A. wrote: "Wait, I've done it! http://cutebabyotters.com"

love the pictures of baby otters! especially the one "You’re holding me just a little too tight"...what a privilidge to hold something s..."


I wished I lived in a country that had otters...


message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

Lisa wrote: "Lily wrote: "J.A. wrote: "Wait, I've done it! http://cutebabyotters.com"

love the pictures of baby otters! especially the one "You’re holding me just a little too tight"...what a privilidge to hol..."


my morning coffee would have a different meaning...mind you I would have to teach my spoilt pooch to keep it quiet..otherwise he would think otters are his new friends and jump into the water to swim with them 8D


message 15: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry Ginmar wrote: "Lisa wrote: "Ginmar wrote: "Well, great, apparently my browser history is a gardening-obsessed wetewolfmasexual with a penchant for ballet and cameras. As my ex-roommate once sneered, "there's m..."

So cute! When I'm rich I will live on a country estate surrounded by mini horses, and otters. And emergency twinks.


message 16: by [deleted user] (new)

Lisa wrote: "Ginmar wrote: "Lisa wrote: "Ginmar wrote: "Well, great, apparently my browser history is a gardening-obsessed wetewolfmasexual with a penchant for ballet and cameras. As my ex-roommate once snee..."

need a helper?


message 17: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry Lily wrote: "Lisa wrote: "Ginmar wrote: "Lisa wrote: "Ginmar wrote: "Well, great, apparently my browser history is a gardening-obsessed wetewolfmasexual with a penchant for ballet and cameras. As my ex-roomm..."

Application will be open shortly for miniature horse and otter wrangler. The twinks will roam free. :)


message 18: by [deleted user] (new)

I am a cheap worker too...All I ask:
1) lots of cupcakes, mudchoc scones, scones with pots of earl grey tea
2) lots of HEA stories to read during spare time
...and voila! I am hired to clean after the otters and those tiny cute horses!

;)


message 19: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry Lily wrote: "I am a cheap worker too...All I ask:
1) lots of cupcakes, mudchoc scones, scones with pots of earl grey tea
2) lots of HEA stories to read during spare time
...and voila! I am hired to clean after ..."



You're hired!


message 20: by [deleted user] (new)

thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuu...you won't regret..my pooch trained me really well..I am an expert in picking up doo-doos and meal preps for furry friends!


message 21: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry Lily wrote: "thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuu...you won't regret..my pooch trained me really well..I am an expert in picking up doo-doos and meal preps for furry friends!"

Lol!


message 22: by Anyta (new)

Anyta Sunday Lol! This is great. :) I think if my husband looked at my browser history these last couple of weeks he would be scratching his head. It's a lot of gay erotica and Great White shark research. I know he'd be thinking "just how is she going to tie those together?" and "do I want to know?"

:-) Funny blog post.


message 23: by [deleted user] (new)

Anyta wrote: "Lol! This is great. :) I think if my husband looked at my browser history these last couple of weeks he would be scratching his head. It's a lot of gay erotica and Great White shark research. I kno..."

hahahhaaaaaa....my hubby is getting a bold patch over his head from scratching because I read MM romance/erotica as well as comics and psychotherapy books....
8D


message 24: by Anyta (new)

Anyta Sunday hahahhaaaaaa....my hubby is getting a bold patch over his head from scratching because I read MM romance/erotica as well as comics and psychotherapy books....
8D


:P That's quite the mix, hehe. Our poor hubbys, eh?!


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