Martha Gets a Restraining Order

(Stalking. It’s a good thing.)

I should’ve known better.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hindsight, 20-20, blah blah blah. What was I thinking? Even in a relatively safe, anesthetic, de-clawed dating environment like match.com – I should’ve known better than to give Martha Stewart my phone number.

And now I can’t get rid of her.

I’d already mentioned to some of you that I’d been thinking about dating again, for the same reasons as anybody else:

I’d like to find a compatible, life-long partner, with whom I could...