Reality....

As I suspected, the phone call a week ago from the doctor's office was a mistake. What the woman should have said is "the results were inconclusive" and never uttered the words "good news" or "benign." The biopsy results came back on the second procedure my dad had done, and it is lung cancer. The next step is an appointment with the oncologist on February 14, the same day Phyllis has her D and C. Her procedure is at 6:45 a.m. I'm hoping I can get her settled at home and resting, then accompany my parents to the oncologist appointment in the afternoon.

I'm glad I was able to talk to my parents and make sure they didn't accept the "benign" diagnosis but rather wait until this next procedure. That I thought it meant the doctor hadn't gotten enough of the mass for an accurate pathology report. And thank God, we were all being realists about this. It doesn't take away the anger I have with the phone call giving my parents that little bit of hope last Friday morning. It wasn't handled right. At all.

My parents sound remarkably okay over the phone. I wasn't able to go to the pulmonologist appointment yesterday afternoon. I was at my own appointment on the far northside and couldn't be reached. Phyllis and I didn't find out until last night. In order to get their minds off everything, my parents went to the casino and didn't get back until late. After we got off the phone, Phyllis started crying. I held her. Then it was her turn to hold me while I cried.

I'm sitting here listening to my "Most Relaxing Classical Music in the Universe" double CD. Samuel Barber's "Adagio for Strings" just played. It's such a haunting melody and it fits my mood. Now, I think I'll put in some Melissa Etheridge and tune out the world.

Sometimes, reality sucks.