Career Coach: Control It, Change It, or Let It Go

Simma LiebermanWe spend so much time worrying about things we can’t control, that we have no energy left to control the things we can. Then we become so overwhelmed that we feel like our life is spiraling out of control and we’ll never be able to catch up. You can learn to manage a great deal of your stress by listing each stressor and assessing whether you can control it, change it, or learn to let it go. 


Pick a situation in your life that is stressing you out. Perhaps you have a big assignment at work that you are afraid you won’t be able to complete on time. First ask yourself, can you control this situation? If so, how much of it? While you may be able to take charge of your own portion of the project, you may have teammates who are working independently of you or may be waiting for information that takes several days to process. 


So if you can’t control it, can you change it? If so, what can you do, and are you willing to do it? For example, you may want to consider staying for a couple extra hours after work for several days to catch up on your work. If there is a teammate on the project who is not carrying his fair share of the weight, it may be time to approach your manager and ask for a new coworker to take on his work. You may even be able to approach your boss and ask for an extension on the project, assuming it’s not time sensitive. 


Lastly, you may need to let it go. If you can’t control or change the situation, there’s little you can do to curb your stress. But letting go is a process that takes time. We have to use our thoughts to control our emotions and our actions. If you don’t meet this deadline, what will happen? Will you be reprimanded by a pay cut or loss of other benefits, or possibly be fired? If this is your first misstep, it’s likely you won’t suffer such harsh consequences


Remind yourself that there are people and events you can’t control – all you can control is your attitude and your reactions. You can view life as exciting and unexpected, or you can view it as scary because you don’t know what the future holds. Take charge, take control, or let it go. The choice is yours. 


–Simma Lieberman, Career Coach


 

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Published on April 05, 2013 08:02
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