The Best Sort of Friend

As a self-confessed introvert, I often wonder if I couldn't live happily in a cave in the middle of a barren wilderness. But the older I get, the more I realize the importance of friendship and interaction with others. I've thoroughly enjoyed finding old and new friends on Facebook.



Very few stories about friendship in the Bible stir my heart like the friendship between Jonathan and David. What makes this friendship especially touching is the fact that Jonathan was heir to the throne, but gladly relinquished that position to the one God had anointed to follow King Saul.



Consider the following verses:



After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt. ~1 Samuel 18:1-4 (NIV)



By giving David his robe, sword, bow and belt, Jonathan shared the symbols of royalty with him. And I love the words "Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself." When asked what the greatest commandment was, the rich young ruler replied to love God with your entire being and to love others as yourself. Jesus verified this confession by saying that all the Law and Prophets hung on those two commandments. Loving ourselves often isn't easy; loving others as ourselves is even more difficult. Surely the oneness in spirit the two friends shared was God-inspired.



Saul told his son Jonathan and all the attendants to kill David. But Jonathan had taken a great liking to David and warned him, “My father Saul is looking for a chance to kill you. Be on your guard tomorrow morning; go into hiding and stay there. I will go out and stand with my father in the field where you are. I’ll speak to him about you and will tell you what I find out.”
Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, “Let not the king do wrong to his servant David; he has not wronged you, and what he has done has benefited you greatly. He took his life in his hands when he killed the Philistine. The Lord won a great victory for all Israel, and you saw it and were glad. Why then would you do wrong to an innocent man like David by killing him for no reason?” Saul listened to Jonathan and took this oath: “As surely as the Lord lives, David will not be put to death.” So Jonathan called David and told him the whole conversation. He brought him to Saul, and David was with Saul as before. ~1 Samuel 19:1-7 (NIV)



Look at all Jonathan does for David out of friendship in the above passage:


He warned David about Saul's plan to kill him.
He protected David (even in the face of dire consequences).
He spoke on David's behalf.
He persuaded his father not to kill David.
He served as a mediator between Saul and David.
He restored David to Saul's household, even in spite of the fact that it further supported David's impending kingship.

Of course, it didn't take long for Saul to become even more jealous of David and more determined to kill him. David tried to explain the situation to Jonathan, so Jonathan devised a test for his father in order to see Saul's true motives.



Then Jonathan said to David, “I swear by the Lord, the God of Israel, that I will surely sound out my father by this time the day after tomorrow! If he is favorably disposed toward you, will I not send you word and let you know? But if my father intends to harm you, may the Lord deal with Jonathan, be it ever so severely, if I do not let you know and send you away in peace. May the Lord be with you as he has been with my father. But show me unfailing kindness like the Lord’s kindness as long as I live, so that I may not be killed, and do not ever cut off your kindness from my family—not even when the Lord has cut off every one of David’s enemies from the face of the earth.” So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, “May the Lord call David’s enemies to account.” And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself. ~1 Samuel 20:12-17 (NIV)



A binding covenant was established between the son of the king and the one King Saul wanted dead. And the entire reason was love.



Saul miserably failed the test, and Jonathan knew what had to be done to protect his friend.



After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most. Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town. ~1 Samuel 20:41-42 (NIV)



The two friends' tears are so touching. Jonathan and David both must surely have recognized that David was about to be a man on the run. And because of that they would most likely not see each other again. A meeting between the two would surely have clued King Saul and given him pertinent information to David's whereabouts. At the same time, it could have also put Jonathan's life in danger since he was aiding and abetting an enemy to the throne.



The Bible doesn't record another meeting between the two friends. Instead, we later read in 2 Samuel about the death of Jonathan. When David learns of his friend's demise, he is understandably grieved and writes this song to commemorate his fallen comrade:



“How the mighty have fallen in battle!
    Jonathan lies slain on your heights.
I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother;
    you were very dear to me.
Your love for me was wonderful,
    more wonderful than that of women." ~2 Samuel 1:25-26 (NIV)



We may never know the sort of earthly friendship that existed between Jonathan and David, though I suspect that the good Lord gives us all at least one friendship like this. For certain, Jesus is that sort of friend.



One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
    but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. ~Proverbs 18:24 (NIV)



My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. ~John 15:12-15 (NIV)



Not only is Jesus that sort of friend for us, but He commands us to have that sort of love for our brothers and sisters in Christ. Indeed that love for one another what distinguishes us as followers of Christ.



"Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are My disciples.” ~John 13:35 (NLT)



  Thank You, Lord Jesus, for being a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Oh Lord, help us to love each other the way that You command so that the world might know we belong to You. May our love for one another be a brilliant light in a dark world. Amen.