Sneak peak part three

I still had dozens of questions but a more urgent need had come up. “I need the bathroom.”

“You may need some help walking.” Walt told me. “Like I said before, your new body is somewhat atrophied, and the anatomical differences may take getting used to.”

I hadn't really realized how big a difference there was in my legs till I swung them over the side of the bed. Have you ever looked at the hind leg of a cat or dog, the way they look like their knee is backwards? That's what my new legs looked like. So, before I got up, Walt gave me a crash course in my new anatomy. The “backwards knee,” was actually my ankle and what I had thought was my foot was only the toes. I had a regular knee but my thigh and shin were only about half the length of my leg. I was going to have to walk on my toes at the end of a foot that was longer than my shin had been before.

“Your muscle memory should take over if you just try to walk normally.” He explained. “That's the theory at least.” So, with him on one side and Coleen on the other, I tried to stand.

It was not nearly as easy as Walt had made it out to be. When you walk, do you think about what each muscle is doing? Of course not. The process is governed by muscle memory. You just want to go somewhere and your legs move you. There is a strong degree of feedback, however, as you feel how your legs are moving and make adjustments, to keep balance and avoid running into things, but it all takes place below the conscious level. Now, combine that feedback with a body and brain that haven't been attached to each other before and you get problems. I tried to stand and walk normally but, apparently, my new legs and subconscious mind had different ideas about what normal meant. My new body was trying to walk on the toes and my brain was trying to make the feet flat. The result was a painful foot cramp and me almost falling on my new tail. “Walking normally doesn't seem to work,” I said, through gritted teeth.

“Try deliberately walking on your toes, Todd,” My wife suggested.

I did, and it worked. Just crossing the few feet to the bathroom was a major effort. I'm not sure if it was due to the atrophy or the psychological strain of learning how to work with a different anatomy.

“Perhaps we could look into some specialized shoes, to help till you get more used to these new legs,” Walt offered.

“I don't know about that,” Shimada replied. “It would take about a twenty inch heel. Personally, I end up feeling wobbly on anything over four and most people I know say, the extra high kind take a lot of getting used to.”

“It's a good point,” Coleen admitted. “Shoes might make learning harder, instead of easier.”

“It was just a thought.” Walt defended. “However, speaking of learning, perhaps your wife should help you in there, as you will have to deal with another set of, um, anatomical changes.”

That was both an understatement and the most delicate choice of phrasing I could imagine, under the circumstances. I've had people ask, how I could not have noticed the change in that part of my body, even before I was told. In response, I usually point out three very important facts. First, I was still recovering from an induced coma and the drugs that enforced it. Second, if you are a man, how much attention do you pay to your “equipment” at times other than when you are aroused, urinating or have an itch? You realize it's there, sure, but it stays in the back of your mind, at best. Finally, the parts of my brain that were in charge of what used to be there were now connected to the feminine counterparts, so it's not like anything had gone numb or felt missing. Everything felt like it was there and I hadn't really had cause to concentrate on the changes till now.

Since I don't think anyone would really like to dwell on my using the toilet, I'll just sum it up by saying looking down at my new body was surreal and this was even worse. Coleen stepped out while I was relieving myself and returned with a shopping bag.

“I bought you some new clothes while you were recovering.” She explained. “Nothing you had will fit now. I hope I got your measurements right for the sizes.”

“Thank you,” I replied. “It will be nice to get out of this hospital gown, and I hadn't even thought of my clothes not fitting.”

She helped me clean myself, and get back to my feet. For those who will inevitably ask, having fur does not make a difference when going to the bathroom, for the simple reason that, felis have a hairless strip of flesh running between their legs from the pubic bone to the top of the posterior. Between Coleen and the handrails, I was able to get to the sink to wash my hands. The palms and fingers are also hairless by the way, although it seemed strange to see hands where the finger tips were thicker than a humans and there was a groove in the skin where the nail should be. It was the sheath for the retractable claws, of course. While Coleen untied the back of the hospital gown, I examined my new hands and realized that, when I straightened my fingers, they didn't quite feel straight. I wondered if some of my nervous system hadn't been properly reconnected for a moment. Then I flexed my fingers again, looking to see if they were, somehow, double jointed. As I tried to go past being completely straight, I saw the claws extend from my fingertips. Here was a new part of my new anatomy that I could control. As I shrugged out of the hospital gown, I straightened up and was about to show my wife what I could do. I looked up from the sink and saw someone else in the room with us.

A felis female was standing less than two feet in front of me, green cat slit eyes, mottled black and gray fur and a face that had thin almost human lips, flat cat nose and high forehead, topped by a pair of pointed ears behind which her head was bandaged. What I could see of her above the sink was naked, save for her fur which covered all but her groin and nipples. I saw her bare her sharp teeth at me and drop into a martial arts pose with bared claws. As I saw my own hand rise in front of me mirroring this stranger, I realized it was my own reflection in the mirror. I also realized that these new legs couldn't support me for very long. I almost fell, but I was able to catch myself against the sink. Unfortunately, I was so weak and my arms trembling so much that I ended up sinking to the floor.

“Todd what's wrong?” Coleen shouted, but her voice seemed to come from a distance as things went dark around me.

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The Face in the Mirror: a transhuman identity crisis