How Quickly it Goes

So a long long time ago, I stayed up late reading a paperback novel (imagine!) but soon succumbed to sleep.  The following morning I awoke and immediately grabbed the book to continue reading (yes, it was that good).  Imagine my shock and dismay when I realized I couldn’t read the words on the page.

Oh my gosh, thought I.  I have been stricken by some awful disease, and shall no doubt be blind by nightfall.   I ran to the phone, concentrated on the little numbers, and called my doctor.  Who immediately fell into peels of laughter (okay I’ve eliminated the two days I had to wait for him to call me back for the benefit of the story) and informed me that I was forty.

FORTY.  Apparently the worst disease of all.

He went on to tell me that my eyesight would continue to decline as I grew older, necessitating the use of glasses.   Pictures of my grandmother and her constantly missing glasses filled my head, and I hovered on the edge of panic for another two years, tromboning books and menus until I could pull them into focus.    And then one day—my arm simply wasn’t long enough.   It was time for glasses.

Fast forward to present day.  And sadly I am here to tell you that my doctor was right, the deterioration continues.  And now I find myself with a new dilemma—one which I’m sure has plagued my vision-impaired friends for always, but it’s new to me and it’s annoying.

I am standing in the shower and I reach for my shampoo bottle (which is identical to my conditioner bottle) and the people that make said shampoo and conditioner have printed the much needed identifying words too darn small for my poor now much older eyes.   So I spend time every shower trying to figure out which is which.  And sadly they do look a lot alike.

And forget about reading the instructions (stop laughing, sometimes there’s more to a conditioner than just squeezing it out into your hands).  The print is even smaller than a pill bottle.  So what?  Now I have to wear my glasses in the shower?

SIGH.

What about you?  Are your eyes still spry?  Can you read a sign at the end of your block (I still can do that, thankfully)?   And what the heck do you do to be able to read the conditioner bottles?  Inquiring minds and all that…

Share this: