I vs. Me…Again

I’ve posted on this subject once before, but I’m still baffled by the amount of people who don’t know when to say I and when to say me. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. After all, this is a world full of rareroads and Wal-Marts, where people are full of good ideals, and some of them live in Massatushetts. It doesn’t really seem like people try anymore to use their words properly. Except for the handful of people who actually DO try, and just get it wrong. Maybe they don’t know. Maybe the only part of English class they remember is the part where you have to put yourself last, as in my brother and I. But that’s only half of it.

Worse than hearing someone say I when they should’ve said me isn’t nearly as bad when it’s just a regular person. But when it’s a WRITER, someone who should know better, it makes me want to claw their face. I can’t help it. I have violent tendencies brought on by idiocy.

Let me begin by saying this to those who misuse the two words: I recognize that you’re trying to do better. I really do. I recognize your efforts and I thank you for trying to be proper and intelligent. Now that I’ve said that, let me say this: stop screwing it up! In your efforts (however valiant they may be) to appear more intelligent, the misuse of the words makes you appear less intelligent. It’s true.

Now you’re probably wondering, “But, Kim, how do we know when to use which word?” It’s a good question with a simple answer.

Many people think it’s always the other person’s name and then I. But that’s not true. Well, the part about putting yourself last is true, but it’s not always I. So how do you know when to use I and when to use Me? Simple. Take out the other person’s name and see if it makes sense. For example:

This is a picture of Joe and I.

If we take out ‘Joe and’, it says:

This is a picture of I.

Sounds pretty stupid, doesn’t it? That’s because it is.

This is a picture of Joe and me.

Without ‘Joe and’, it reads:

This is a picture of me.

Let’s take a test. See if you can get these correct:

1) Would you like to go to the store with Tim and I?

2) Sit here and take a break with Suzie and me.

How’d you do? Think you nailed it? I hope you did. Here it is. The first one is wrong. Without Tim and, I’m asking if you would like to go to the store with I. That makes me sound like a gibberish-speaking fool, which would be fine if I was teaching a class on how to speak gibberish like a fool.

So how about the second one? That one is correct. Take out Suzie and and it makes perfect sense. I’m telling you to sit here and take a break with me. I’m now fit to mingle in society.

See how simple that is? Now that you know, you can use the two words properly. And if you don’t, you have no excuse, and I won’t overlook it again. I’ll hunt you down and be the I‘s out of you. I’ll make you a character in one of my stories and torture the daylights out of you. I’ll start a petition to have you removed from society. I’ll spearhead a campaign to see that you’re shunned by your peers and families. You may think that’s a good thing now, but after months – even years – of isolation, you’ll begin to see the error of your ways. Then, you’ll think to yourself, “I wish someone was here with me.” Because if you think, “I wish someone was here with I,” I’ll put out the hit on you and we’ll call it a day.

Now go forth, good people. Go forth and spread the wisdom I have shared with you. Work it into a conversation. But don’t screw it up. And if you do, don’t m