Writing scared.
I don't know WTF's up this last couple of weeks. I'm crawling along on the revision/self-edit on Courtland #5 - honestly, it's all I can do to get in 5-10 pages a day - and yet, I've been blogging up a storm. Guess my subconscious just feels like taking a giant info-dump every day!
It's not that I haven't wanted to blog before now - I mean, really blog, not just the usual, "Ohai! Buy my book, yo!" noise everybody learns to tune out. I have thoughts - not especially deep thoughts, I'll grant you, but every now and then, stuff bothers me.
I've held back, for the most part, because I've seen too many authors run their mouths and end up self-destructing. So I don't make waves. I resist the urge to do stupid shit like arguing with reviewers - even the one who gave me two stars when it was clear from her summary that she was talking about somebody else's book.
*ahem*
So, since I've been lagging in the inspiration department lately, I snagged this list of motivational quotes from fellow author Angelia Sparrow, and tacked it up over my writing space:
A lot of this stuff would, on first glance, appear to be no-brainers. Make time for writing. Set realistic goals. Yes, yes, of course - doesn't everyone do that?
Enjoying the journey... well, that's another story. The other day I was reading Rachel Aaron's 2,000 to 10,000: How to Write Faster, Write Better and Write More of What You Love, and I got to the part where she was talking about "candy bar scenes" - aka, the scenes you can't wait to write.
I remember when writing was like that for me - back when I was first published, and I had more story ideas than I could ever write in one lifetime. Then that first blush of "OMG, I'm finally published!" excitement faded. Then my husband passed away, and I didn't write a word for the better part of a year. When I started again - ironically enough, with this book I'm currently trying to revise - it just didn't feel the same.
I've been trying to re-capture that excitement ever since, but I fear it's gone for good. "Write Scared"? Hell, I do that every day.
Last year at this time I was riding high on my most successful book to date. I thought I'd finally broken out - and for most of 2012, my sales held steady. Then the fourth quarter hit, and it all sank like a stone. My Christmas novella for Riptide tanked. I launched my first self-published title the same month, and it hasn't done much better. None of my self-published books have.
I'm not looking for sympathy, or whining, "Poor me! Nobody likes me!" Other authors have told me their sales slipped at the end of last year, too. I know it's not personal.
Still, I'm left wondering if I've wasted six months on this self-publishing project when I could've been working on something else. I'm not a super-fast writer, but I could've produced a novel or a couple of novellas in that time.
No telling if another book(s) would've sold any better. Who knows? Maybe Once a Marine was a fluke. Maybe I've been just plain lucky to have made a living at this for as long as I have.
Writing's a job like any other - you can't expect to love it every day. But you do have to show up for work every day whether you feel like it or not. I just wish I knew the secret to actually feeling like it again.
It's not that I haven't wanted to blog before now - I mean, really blog, not just the usual, "Ohai! Buy my book, yo!" noise everybody learns to tune out. I have thoughts - not especially deep thoughts, I'll grant you, but every now and then, stuff bothers me.
I've held back, for the most part, because I've seen too many authors run their mouths and end up self-destructing. So I don't make waves. I resist the urge to do stupid shit like arguing with reviewers - even the one who gave me two stars when it was clear from her summary that she was talking about somebody else's book.
*ahem*
So, since I've been lagging in the inspiration department lately, I snagged this list of motivational quotes from fellow author Angelia Sparrow, and tacked it up over my writing space:
A lot of this stuff would, on first glance, appear to be no-brainers. Make time for writing. Set realistic goals. Yes, yes, of course - doesn't everyone do that?
Enjoying the journey... well, that's another story. The other day I was reading Rachel Aaron's 2,000 to 10,000: How to Write Faster, Write Better and Write More of What You Love, and I got to the part where she was talking about "candy bar scenes" - aka, the scenes you can't wait to write.
I remember when writing was like that for me - back when I was first published, and I had more story ideas than I could ever write in one lifetime. Then that first blush of "OMG, I'm finally published!" excitement faded. Then my husband passed away, and I didn't write a word for the better part of a year. When I started again - ironically enough, with this book I'm currently trying to revise - it just didn't feel the same.
I've been trying to re-capture that excitement ever since, but I fear it's gone for good. "Write Scared"? Hell, I do that every day.
Last year at this time I was riding high on my most successful book to date. I thought I'd finally broken out - and for most of 2012, my sales held steady. Then the fourth quarter hit, and it all sank like a stone. My Christmas novella for Riptide tanked. I launched my first self-published title the same month, and it hasn't done much better. None of my self-published books have.
I'm not looking for sympathy, or whining, "Poor me! Nobody likes me!" Other authors have told me their sales slipped at the end of last year, too. I know it's not personal.
Still, I'm left wondering if I've wasted six months on this self-publishing project when I could've been working on something else. I'm not a super-fast writer, but I could've produced a novel or a couple of novellas in that time.
No telling if another book(s) would've sold any better. Who knows? Maybe Once a Marine was a fluke. Maybe I've been just plain lucky to have made a living at this for as long as I have.
Writing's a job like any other - you can't expect to love it every day. But you do have to show up for work every day whether you feel like it or not. I just wish I knew the secret to actually feeling like it again.
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