Cat Grant's Blog: Memoirs of an Amnesiac - Posts Tagged "writing-life"
The morning after the new WIP before...
My first week working on a new WIP always proves an eye-opening experience. Every day I expect the work to suck - and sometimes it does, but most of the time I reread the words I wrote the previous day and think, "Huh. Not nearly as bad as I thought!"
Then I start missing my downtime. I usually take a few weeks off between projects to let myself decompress and get done a lot of stuff around the house that I let slide while my last book ate my brain. When I write, I WRITE. Meaning, I don't do much else that isn't absolutely necessary. Grocery shopping, laundry, feeding my cat, changing his litter - that's the sum total of real-life stuff that gets accomplished here while I'm furiously plugging away at a new project. Oh, and keeping regular appointments with my therapist, because there's nothing more crazy-making than a new book.
It is indeed a kind of madness, and I both love and hate it on a number of levels. But honestly, I wouldn't give up the writing life for anything. My worst day writing is still ten times better than my best day sitting in an office. And you can't beat a job where you get to wear your pajamas to work! :)
Then I start missing my downtime. I usually take a few weeks off between projects to let myself decompress and get done a lot of stuff around the house that I let slide while my last book ate my brain. When I write, I WRITE. Meaning, I don't do much else that isn't absolutely necessary. Grocery shopping, laundry, feeding my cat, changing his litter - that's the sum total of real-life stuff that gets accomplished here while I'm furiously plugging away at a new project. Oh, and keeping regular appointments with my therapist, because there's nothing more crazy-making than a new book.
It is indeed a kind of madness, and I both love and hate it on a number of levels. But honestly, I wouldn't give up the writing life for anything. My worst day writing is still ten times better than my best day sitting in an office. And you can't beat a job where you get to wear your pajamas to work! :)
Do I LOVE writing?
Um... does hating it less than any other job I've had count?
I shouldn't complain. I know I have it better than most people. Not many of us have a job we can do at home in our jammies, without phones ringing every thirty seconds or some asshole boss going, "Aren't you done yet?"
I remember the days when I had a regular crap-ass job that I had to drag myself out of bed at oh-fuck-thirty for. A job that bored me so much, I spent most of the day making up stories in my head. Back then I couldn't WAIT to get home to my precious laptop and get those stories down on virtual paper. The words used to fly from my fingers.
Nowadays... not so much. I don't know if it's my usual bout of seasonal depression, or if it's just so chilly I don't feel like crawling out of my nice warm bed most mornings, but lately I've had to pull every word out of my brain with pliers.
It was so much easier when I had no one to please but myself - when getting published seemed like an unachievable pipe dream. Now, twenty-odd published books down the road, there's a lot more at stake.
People (aka, non-writers) ask me, "Doesn't it get easier the more you write?" Oh, hell, no! It gets WAY harder. There's the constant pressure to do better - both critically and sales-wise - than you did last time. The pressure to not repeat yourself.
This is an awful thing for an erotic romance writer to admit, but I've never enjoyed writing sex scenes. And now that I've written dozens of them, keeping them fresh and new is even more difficult. I mean, really, how many different ways are there to do it? I'm sure the Kama Sutra could show me a few new positions, but that's always seemed kind of... empty. I prefer concentrating on my characters' emotional connection, rather than turning the scene into a bunch of sexual circus tricks.
There are days when I look at my laptop and think, "Fuck it. I'm not into this today." Then I go out grocery shopping or do the laundry just so I can say I did something. Sometimes I get struck by inspiration while I'm driving around running errands - thank gawd for the voice recording software on my phone! Some days I stare out my kitchen window at the trees while I eke out a measly thousand or so words. Then I get up the next day and do it all over again.
But that's why it's called work, I guess. All the other four-letter words were taken.
I shouldn't complain. I know I have it better than most people. Not many of us have a job we can do at home in our jammies, without phones ringing every thirty seconds or some asshole boss going, "Aren't you done yet?"
I remember the days when I had a regular crap-ass job that I had to drag myself out of bed at oh-fuck-thirty for. A job that bored me so much, I spent most of the day making up stories in my head. Back then I couldn't WAIT to get home to my precious laptop and get those stories down on virtual paper. The words used to fly from my fingers.
Nowadays... not so much. I don't know if it's my usual bout of seasonal depression, or if it's just so chilly I don't feel like crawling out of my nice warm bed most mornings, but lately I've had to pull every word out of my brain with pliers.
It was so much easier when I had no one to please but myself - when getting published seemed like an unachievable pipe dream. Now, twenty-odd published books down the road, there's a lot more at stake.
People (aka, non-writers) ask me, "Doesn't it get easier the more you write?" Oh, hell, no! It gets WAY harder. There's the constant pressure to do better - both critically and sales-wise - than you did last time. The pressure to not repeat yourself.
This is an awful thing for an erotic romance writer to admit, but I've never enjoyed writing sex scenes. And now that I've written dozens of them, keeping them fresh and new is even more difficult. I mean, really, how many different ways are there to do it? I'm sure the Kama Sutra could show me a few new positions, but that's always seemed kind of... empty. I prefer concentrating on my characters' emotional connection, rather than turning the scene into a bunch of sexual circus tricks.
There are days when I look at my laptop and think, "Fuck it. I'm not into this today." Then I go out grocery shopping or do the laundry just so I can say I did something. Sometimes I get struck by inspiration while I'm driving around running errands - thank gawd for the voice recording software on my phone! Some days I stare out my kitchen window at the trees while I eke out a measly thousand or so words. Then I get up the next day and do it all over again.
But that's why it's called work, I guess. All the other four-letter words were taken.
Writing scared.
I don't know WTF's up this last couple of weeks. I'm crawling along on the revision/self-edit on Courtland #5 - honestly, it's all I can do to get in 5-10 pages a day - and yet, I've been blogging up a storm. Guess my subconscious just feels like taking a giant info-dump every day!
It's not that I haven't wanted to blog before now - I mean, really blog, not just the usual, "Ohai! Buy my book, yo!" noise everybody learns to tune out. I have thoughts - not especially deep thoughts, I'll grant you, but every now and then, stuff bothers me.
I've held back, for the most part, because I've seen too many authors run their mouths and end up self-destructing. So I don't make waves. I resist the urge to do stupid shit like arguing with reviewers - even the one who gave me two stars when it was clear from her summary that she was talking about somebody else's book.
*ahem*
So, since I've been lagging in the inspiration department lately, I snagged this list of motivational quotes from fellow author Angelia Sparrow, and tacked it up over my writing space:
A lot of this stuff would, on first glance, appear to be no-brainers. Make time for writing. Set realistic goals. Yes, yes, of course - doesn't everyone do that?
Enjoying the journey... well, that's another story. The other day I was reading Rachel Aaron's 2,000 to 10,000: How to Write Faster, Write Better and Write More of What You Love, and I got to the part where she was talking about "candy bar scenes" - aka, the scenes you can't wait to write.
I remember when writing was like that for me - back when I was first published, and I had more story ideas than I could ever write in one lifetime. Then that first blush of "OMG, I'm finally published!" excitement faded. Then my husband passed away, and I didn't write a word for the better part of a year. When I started again - ironically enough, with this book I'm currently trying to revise - it just didn't feel the same.
I've been trying to re-capture that excitement ever since, but I fear it's gone for good. "Write Scared"? Hell, I do that every day.
Last year at this time I was riding high on my most successful book to date. I thought I'd finally broken out - and for most of 2012, my sales held steady. Then the fourth quarter hit, and it all sank like a stone. My Christmas novella for Riptide tanked. I launched my first self-published title the same month, and it hasn't done much better. None of my self-published books have.
I'm not looking for sympathy, or whining, "Poor me! Nobody likes me!" Other authors have told me their sales slipped at the end of last year, too. I know it's not personal.
Still, I'm left wondering if I've wasted six months on this self-publishing project when I could've been working on something else. I'm not a super-fast writer, but I could've produced a novel or a couple of novellas in that time.
No telling if another book(s) would've sold any better. Who knows? Maybe Once a Marine was a fluke. Maybe I've been just plain lucky to have made a living at this for as long as I have.
Writing's a job like any other - you can't expect to love it every day. But you do have to show up for work every day whether you feel like it or not. I just wish I knew the secret to actually feeling like it again.
It's not that I haven't wanted to blog before now - I mean, really blog, not just the usual, "Ohai! Buy my book, yo!" noise everybody learns to tune out. I have thoughts - not especially deep thoughts, I'll grant you, but every now and then, stuff bothers me.
I've held back, for the most part, because I've seen too many authors run their mouths and end up self-destructing. So I don't make waves. I resist the urge to do stupid shit like arguing with reviewers - even the one who gave me two stars when it was clear from her summary that she was talking about somebody else's book.
*ahem*
So, since I've been lagging in the inspiration department lately, I snagged this list of motivational quotes from fellow author Angelia Sparrow, and tacked it up over my writing space:
A lot of this stuff would, on first glance, appear to be no-brainers. Make time for writing. Set realistic goals. Yes, yes, of course - doesn't everyone do that?
Enjoying the journey... well, that's another story. The other day I was reading Rachel Aaron's 2,000 to 10,000: How to Write Faster, Write Better and Write More of What You Love, and I got to the part where she was talking about "candy bar scenes" - aka, the scenes you can't wait to write.
I remember when writing was like that for me - back when I was first published, and I had more story ideas than I could ever write in one lifetime. Then that first blush of "OMG, I'm finally published!" excitement faded. Then my husband passed away, and I didn't write a word for the better part of a year. When I started again - ironically enough, with this book I'm currently trying to revise - it just didn't feel the same.
I've been trying to re-capture that excitement ever since, but I fear it's gone for good. "Write Scared"? Hell, I do that every day.
Last year at this time I was riding high on my most successful book to date. I thought I'd finally broken out - and for most of 2012, my sales held steady. Then the fourth quarter hit, and it all sank like a stone. My Christmas novella for Riptide tanked. I launched my first self-published title the same month, and it hasn't done much better. None of my self-published books have.
I'm not looking for sympathy, or whining, "Poor me! Nobody likes me!" Other authors have told me their sales slipped at the end of last year, too. I know it's not personal.
Still, I'm left wondering if I've wasted six months on this self-publishing project when I could've been working on something else. I'm not a super-fast writer, but I could've produced a novel or a couple of novellas in that time.
No telling if another book(s) would've sold any better. Who knows? Maybe Once a Marine was a fluke. Maybe I've been just plain lucky to have made a living at this for as long as I have.
Writing's a job like any other - you can't expect to love it every day. But you do have to show up for work every day whether you feel like it or not. I just wish I knew the secret to actually feeling like it again.
BNF? Uh... WTF?
Thanks for all the comments on my Adventures in Self-Publishing posts. I thought I was just getting my rant on (as I'm wont to do these days, grumpy old lady that I am) but still, it was nice to hear people found some of what I ranted about useful.
One particular comment stuck in my mind - a suggestion that if I want to hit it big, I need to get my books into the hands of some BNF's. (AKA, "big name fans.")
Which led to the realization that, even after five years of writing m/m romances, I have no freakin' clue who the BNFs of this genre are.
Well, okay, I know Elisa Rolle and Jessewave, but that's pretty much it. I'm sure it'd help if I were more social, but I'd rather spend my time writing than hanging out on Twitter and Facebook. It's too easy to send a tweet, then reply to somebody else's, and before you know it, three hours have flown by.
So maybe it's more accurate to say I don't really care who the BNF's of this genre are.
My muse takes me where she takes me. If the stories are good, people will find them. I don't see the appeal of cozying up to people just to get them to buy my books. It seems... I don't know, dishonest, even a bit predatory.
(But then, I'm an introvert. Getting me to a convention - never mind actually talking to people - is miracle enough.)
If popularity's measured by who's the most witty and interesting on Twitter, then I guess I'll never be popular. Call me weird, but I'd rather be known for doing good work than being the life of the party.
One particular comment stuck in my mind - a suggestion that if I want to hit it big, I need to get my books into the hands of some BNF's. (AKA, "big name fans.")
Which led to the realization that, even after five years of writing m/m romances, I have no freakin' clue who the BNFs of this genre are.
Well, okay, I know Elisa Rolle and Jessewave, but that's pretty much it. I'm sure it'd help if I were more social, but I'd rather spend my time writing than hanging out on Twitter and Facebook. It's too easy to send a tweet, then reply to somebody else's, and before you know it, three hours have flown by.
So maybe it's more accurate to say I don't really care who the BNF's of this genre are.
My muse takes me where she takes me. If the stories are good, people will find them. I don't see the appeal of cozying up to people just to get them to buy my books. It seems... I don't know, dishonest, even a bit predatory.
(But then, I'm an introvert. Getting me to a convention - never mind actually talking to people - is miracle enough.)
If popularity's measured by who's the most witty and interesting on Twitter, then I guess I'll never be popular. Call me weird, but I'd rather be known for doing good work than being the life of the party.
