Career Coach: Taking Responsibility for Change

We are told that it’s the strongest who survive – and it seems to make sense. But Charles Darwin would disagree: “It’s not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.” If that’s true when it comes to survival, what does it say about what it takes to thrive? What does it take to thrive as individuals, and as organizations? For one thing, change is required. Without change, we might thrive for a while, but not for long. 

So what does it take to create change on individual and organizational levels? Here are the four keys to change:

We have to take full responsibility for the change we want. 
We have to be congruent about what we want. 
We have to actually think differently and do something differently. 
We have to be patient until we find what works, and then be patient as we make mistakes, refine what we are doing, and then go at it again. 

You would think all of this is simple – it is; it’s just not easy. Let’s take a look at the first key to change – we will address the next three in the days ahead. 

The problem: In the corporate arena, leaders blame their employees and employees blame their leaders. In our personal lives, we blame the economy or our company for not having the career success we want. Thus, the big barrier to both organizational and personal change is taking full responsibility for our actions. 

Oftentimes, we don’t want to take responsibility for mistakes because doing so involves blame on some level – and blame involves shame. When we say we want to get fit, but then say we don’t know how or don’t have the time, we are deferring the blame for our lack of results to minimize our shame. Experiencing shame makes it difficult for us to take responsibility in our personal lives and in the workplace. Change will not happen until someone takes responsibility for leading it. 

The solution: In part, the solution is realizing that taking responsibility isn’t about blame or accusation. It’s about saying “It’s my job to make this better” without judgment. Real leaders have learned to accept responsibility instead of accusing others. Real leaders don’t blame their team for not following them – they ask themselves how they can learn to have a better influence over their team. 

When it comes to our personal lives, it is our emotional intelligence that allows us to take responsibility for what is in our life without accusing or blaming ourselves. It allows us to recognize that no one is coming to our rescue – it’s our job to learn how to get more of what we want in our career or personal life. It takes inner strength, self-love, and self-acceptance. Criticizing ourselves just creates internal resistance and an atmosphere of fear – all blocks to positive change. 

–Alan Allard, Career Coach