My Short Stint at Hallmark

(Would Cupid’s bow be a sexual assault weapon?)

Valentine’s Day, once again, has come and gone. And in cozy dens all across America, guys are staring bitterly at oversized, under-performing teddy bears.

Guys have learned to accept the rule: you never forget Valentine’s Day. We understand that Valentine’s Day is a beast that must be fed. And in the middle of February, it’s not like we have a lot of options. The Super Bowl’s over. It’s either this little spending jag, or watch league bowling.

Acco...